Who is better?

[RICK57]

Something that has dawned on me!

Ever since I was abused at 12 (only just 12), I have felt as though I was somehow inferior to everyone else.

That was way back in 1969, September/October time. Even maybe into November!

It was a slow and devious process, grooming, then gradual increase in the level of the sex games!

Is a person that was not groomed better than me? Is a person that was not abused better than me?

I'm back to rhetorical questions (I know the answers)...no one is better than anyone else, it is how we treat others that matter.

I believe that people here are more likely to treat others with respect, than those who have not experienced trauma in their lives.

Best wishes ...and thanks...Rik

 

[roadrunner]

Rik,

Ever since I was abused at 12 (only just 12), I have felt as though I was somehow inferior to everyone else.

Absolutely spot on. I can look back now and see that as the abuse continued I gradually lost all my self-esteem and self-respect. I figured I wasn't worth better than what the abuser was doing to me.

After the abuse ended I continued to decline, or so my T and I concluded from things like avoiding former friends, sitting alone at lunchtime at school, dropping out of various school clubs and activities, and accepting work from a man whom I was 100% (but still wrongly) sure just wanted a chance to "get some".

Even as an adult I still felt inferior to others and figured I was a loser in general, though by then I had no recollection of the abuse as such. I was winning scholarships and academic awards, going to top grad schools on government fellowships, and establishing a reputation as a respected teacher and scholar, and all the time I thought I was just a very lucky fraud.

It's amazing how our self-deprecating feelings can cancel out or reshape reality, even in the face of endless proofs of how things really are.

Much love,
Larry

 

[Lloydy]

Rick
I 'thought' I was shit for years, but now I know who the real shits are - just like you do!

Dave