Where to begin.... ***Possible triggers***
I'm completely new to forums and chat rooms so if I make a mistake I hope you'll forgive me.
I didnt even realize I had been abused until I read an article online, and it had suggested this group. So I contacted the male survivors group, and here I am.
Parts of my life reads like a porn story on some website. I'm not sure if its because my aunt really was that kinky, or if she intended for it to be that way to make it seem less believable if I did tell anyone.... Besides, who would I tell? My father was almost never around and my mother had mental issues so anything I'd tell her would have simply been dismissed. So that left my aunt relatively safe to play her games.
I call them games because to her thats what they were... Games... Little competitions. While we never actually had sex, the games were most definitely sexual in nature.
I'm not even sure where to begin. The abuse happened so many times over the years, how do I pick out just one story.... Or if I tell many which one first?
I guess I'll start with the one that happened the most frequently.
This started about the time I was 8 years old and continued until my mother decided I no longer needed a babysitter. My aunt was the only babysitter I've ever had. She was my mother's younger sister and from the outside she seemed like the ideal woman..... Refined and proper, well educated, very classy. Behind closed doors however was another matter.
One of my aunt's favorite games was one of endurance.... "How long can you handle it?" The game went like this: My aunt would hold me down and kiss me... deeply and passionately.... Over and over again until I had a raging hard erection. Then she would tickle me without mercy until the erection went away.... Only to start the whole thing all over again. This would continue until I finally couldnt handle it any more and had to run to the bathroom to get away from her.... Once I hit puberty however, the game changed a little. It became..... "How long can I do this to him before he has an orgasm?" Once I had an orgasm, the game was over, and I'd lost.
What made this game so diabolical was that... while the tickling was torture, the kissing was wonderful, and sweet, and filled with her telling me she loved me.
As a result by the time I was 11 years old I was madly in love with my 45 year old aunt.... Or at least I thought I was.
She played this game with me every time we were together. There were many other games, of course, but this always seemed to be her favorite.
This game of hers did have one lingering side effect however. Somehow, it's gotten slightly twisted in my mind to the point that, even though I'm 50 years old now, to this day I still get an erection from being tickled.
There are more stories of abuse to come.
DrDave
I didnt even realize I had been abused until I read an article online, and it had suggested this group. So I contacted the male survivors group, and here I am.
Parts of my life reads like a porn story on some website. I'm not sure if its because my aunt really was that kinky, or if she intended for it to be that way to make it seem less believable if I did tell anyone.... Besides, who would I tell? My father was almost never around and my mother had mental issues so anything I'd tell her would have simply been dismissed. So that left my aunt relatively safe to play her games.
I call them games because to her thats what they were... Games... Little competitions. While we never actually had sex, the games were most definitely sexual in nature.
I'm not even sure where to begin. The abuse happened so many times over the years, how do I pick out just one story.... Or if I tell many which one first?
I guess I'll start with the one that happened the most frequently.
This started about the time I was 8 years old and continued until my mother decided I no longer needed a babysitter. My aunt was the only babysitter I've ever had. She was my mother's younger sister and from the outside she seemed like the ideal woman..... Refined and proper, well educated, very classy. Behind closed doors however was another matter.
One of my aunt's favorite games was one of endurance.... "How long can you handle it?" The game went like this: My aunt would hold me down and kiss me... deeply and passionately.... Over and over again until I had a raging hard erection. Then she would tickle me without mercy until the erection went away.... Only to start the whole thing all over again. This would continue until I finally couldnt handle it any more and had to run to the bathroom to get away from her.... Once I hit puberty however, the game changed a little. It became..... "How long can I do this to him before he has an orgasm?" Once I had an orgasm, the game was over, and I'd lost.
What made this game so diabolical was that... while the tickling was torture, the kissing was wonderful, and sweet, and filled with her telling me she loved me.
As a result by the time I was 11 years old I was madly in love with my 45 year old aunt.... Or at least I thought I was.
She played this game with me every time we were together. There were many other games, of course, but this always seemed to be her favorite.
This game of hers did have one lingering side effect however. Somehow, it's gotten slightly twisted in my mind to the point that, even though I'm 50 years old now, to this day I still get an erection from being tickled.
There are more stories of abuse to come.
DrDave