where do i find christmas?

[shadowkid]

can anyone tell me do you think that we can change things in us that have been there so long they become normal to us ?do you guys feel this way? you know how holidays for most people are always a great time ,with family and presents and love and it has always been that way for them so it makes them happy when the holidays come around,don't know for sure but that's the way it is on tv anyway . i wonder if they could ever learn to hate holidays ,because they were the hardest times to not have a family ,what i really wonder is can i ever learn to not be totaly bummed out at holidays ,i mean i spent most of my life dreading the holidays ,especialy christmas and birthdays ,they only made my pain worse without a family ,just once i would like to not spend christmas alone ,remembering christmas past ,christmas in a juvenile detention center where you were as likely to get beat up as any other day, with a scrawny fake christmas tree in a glass case ,couldn't leave it out in the open ,we might use the ornaments to make weapons!!! christmas in foster care where you never fit in, were never part of the family you were with that month ,with last minute gifts if any because these people don't know you or anything about what you like .i ran away from foster homes twice on christmas eve ,i couldn't stand to see the bio kids happy and hugging their blood parents ,my last christmas in foster care i was so bummed i got stoned on meth and knocked over the christmas tree ,no body cared why i hated christmas ,just about what happened to the tree . wouldn't you wonder why a 16 year old was high on meth on christmas eve? can anybody tell me how to find christmas again? shadow

 

[Morning Star]

CELEBRATING A BIRTH

This Christmas,
lets try and reconnect with
that little boy in the manger
who received gifts from strangers.

This Christmas,
lets celebrate his Birth,
lets make this Christmas
His birthday party!

This Christmas lets celebrate
two boys.

One who sits in his cradle,
and the one who shines brightly,
within you.

This Christmas,
may we party for them.

May we celebrate our new beginnings
and the things we have let go.

Let us celebrate our rebirth.

Lets us sing praise in our heart
and sing amazing grace
And may that song be shared
with everyone we love.

This Christmas,
may we become
joy to the world.

 

[Derdlecar]

Adam,

Good question, I'm not sure I have the answer but I'm working on it. I know that doesn't help you now. I have a family and Christmas is hard for me too.

Hang in there my friend, we'll get through this one too and be better men because of it.

Love you Bro

Darrel

 

[roadrunner]

Adam,

What a cool and heart-felt question. I felt seared to the soul when I read of your experiences.

For me holidays are about people I love. If I didn't have these people holidays would mean very little to me. You feel disconnected from holidays because in your past you have not had these relationships - just meth, not much of a friend. So the holidays just remind you of what you missed; they are a time of grieving and isolation for you.

To change that you need to rebuild. You need to jettison the toxic people in your life and replace them with true caring friends. That may sound like a major task, and it is! But you are a good guy and you can do it.

For this Christmas I would say try to be in a place where you will have people around you. See what activities are on and try to participate. Some time alone at home might be good as well, but don't sit and fret. Plan something: films, reading a good book you never got around to, whatever. And look ahead. Don't dwell just on current problems; look at how far you have come already and how much things have changed for the better.

Much love,
Larry

 

[reality2k4]

Adam,

Have a read of the christmas story that I posted in spirituality forum.

Your story really touched me to the core, and I thought about all the kids who are going to have a bleak christmas in care and detention.

Do a search for the invisible boy, it is worth the read. It covers aspects of how kids are just institutionalised without the care they seek, and of course, nobody to share their fears.

Funny thing that I always think of christmas, as a time of reflection, not of the material part of it but just to think of who we really were.

Buy yourself a few presents, wrap them, and open them at christmas, get in touch with the inner boy and tell him how strong he was, and shed a tear, for all those kids who are disadvantaged.

take care,

ste