When sex is a weapon

[reality2k4]

Sex is meant to be a wake up to a young male.
But what when sex means linking it to terrifying events in your life.

What if, it meant your life meant compliance with an abuser to save your life, but what if it meant you would lose your life anyhow.

That is how I felt whilst being abused, and he may as well have done that because, many times in my life he destroyed the little boy inside me.

I cannot show this on the outside, which is why I just cannot be feeble and cry any more.

I just wish it was all some dream,

ste

 

[roadrunner]

Ste,

Your post reminds me that when I was 12, I think, my Dad gave me "the talk" about sex, having no idea I was already an "expert" at everything he was discussing and some things he didn't discuss. What he said confused me, since he was talking so positively and confidently about things that frightened and shamed me. What a mess. This feeling of confusion and alienation was unbearable.

Unfortunately it's not just a dream Ste. But keep working at it and you will break through.

Much love,
Larry

. So far as I was concerned sex was something that I already knew

 

[Jay Bee]

Hey Reality2K4,

I was very touched whereyou said you cannt be feeble and cry anymore. This is a HUGE problem forme also, one that has proven worrisome to me at times. While,for instance,the death of a loved one can certainly arouse much emotion in me, I cannot express it through tears and I fear it makes me appear to be this unfeeling cold individual or this stoic individual being strong in the face of adversity.

 

[desvelar]

Sex to me was and is a way to cover up my past. A way to forget a way to bring better mempries of sex to my mind.