when old habbits no longer work

[Kid A]

In a way I'm glad watching tv, drinking, smoking etc. no longer work for me the way they once did. They are no longer enough and so I find I'm avoiding these old habbits more and more. In itself this is a good thing, but the bad thing is its kind of leaving me depressed. Bad habbits were so reliable. Now I know the world is much bigger than my old distractions, but I don't know what to do with myself. I think part of my depression is from continuing to live in my isolation which I no longer want or desire. I think its time to try living in the world with other people and forming bonds and friendships. Unfortunately I never really figured out how to do this. Maybe now is the time to learn and experiment though I'm not sure where to begin.

 

[Morning Star]

Well that is a big start in itself that you have made here, acknowledging a habit and having the willingness to change, now you just have to keep the momentum as you put it into practise.

For starters try asking yourself, where would I rather be right now, and doing what and then do just that, be sure you will soon start getting wild idea as you open yourself up and open your horizon to your greater possibilities.

Soon you would hardly have any time left for these old friends!

 

[roadrunner]

Kid A,

I like your observation that:

Now I know the world is much bigger than my old distractions.

That's the problem with these old habits; they keep us from seeing the wonderful possibilities and opportunites that await us in the world by defining all these as dangerous and too challenging, and by providing a temporary alternative that covers things up for us for a short time.

How to begin? Per haps one way would be to look back into the recent past and ask yourself this: The activity I have in mind to do now, has it ever led to anything in the past, or am I just numbing out? Afterwards do I feel better or worse?

Habits that only help us to hide will sooner or later expose themselves, simply because they require us to be untrue to ourselves and so cannot make us happy.

Much love,
Larry

 

[John Oarc]

Kid A, I am right with you on this. Most of my addictions or avoidance techniques just quit being attractive anymore and I felt depressed, what do I do now, what and who am I now? This is a big step, so along with help from the guys here at MS I am finding peace in knowing that I am not alone and most everyone has felt what we are going through, again it is normal for us. I am finding happiness in other things, but it is taking some getting used to. Recovery is a strange thing, we have to enjoy the ride in order to keep moving forward.

 

[Morning Star]

Habits are comfortable and they makes us feel safe, they tell us that we know what we are doing, even though it not be the best way of doing things, soon they become customary and we forget that each habit was formed by a single choice and we can leave it in the same way.

Sometimes when we change within, like an old, ill-fitting suit, old habits also stop looking appealing and we stop indulging in them.

As our self esteem grows we find that these old unhealthy relationships need to go. We stop welcoming these unwanted friends in our homes. And we seek new friends, those that nurture us and help us in our journey.

Though it is hard to let go the old and the familiar but soon indulging in them seems like a burden and an irritating habit, and that is when we learn to let go.

But the final test of letting go of old habits comes while re-experiencing the familiar and not choosing the familiar response. That is when we create a new paradigm within. Where no habit holds still in the flowing waters of life. That is what we call living creatively, treating every experience as a fresh one and offering it a fresh response.