What's normal for kids? (triggers)

What's normal for kids? (triggers)
F

ForeverFighting

Registrant
This question has been bothering me. And obviously this isn't the place to find the answer, but I'll try anyway.

Having been through what we've all been through, I don't know what is a side-effect of the SA and what is normal. I mean, we talk about how the MB and everything started when we were young, for a lot of us. I guess I just wonder if normal boys do that anyway. I remember waking up when I was little, like 5 or 6, wearing my pajamas. I walked into the kitchen where my mom was cooking and I was getting ready to change into day clothes when I realized I didn't have anything on under my pajamas. I don't remember anybody "visiting" me during the night. I just remember being surprised, really embarrassed, hoping that my mom wouldn't notice before I could change, and I remember wondering where my underclothes went. I remember MB really young and all the time. I remember playing with my cousins (m & f) and always trying to do something that seemed naughty, like pulling our pants down or something stupid. I remember when I was 6 or 7 and trying to explain to my sister (we were clothed) who was 3 years younger than me how it was supposed to work, that this thing I had was supposed to go there. I remember having to go to the doctor and get creams and stuff because I always hurt down there.

I just wonder how much of that was normal, what boys do, experimentation, etc., and how much would be caused by SA. I mean, at what age do boys sex ideas normally waken? Does it happen before puberty? I know after that horrible cliff of puberty I got so sick of waking up naked and MB I started pinning all my clothes together so I couldn't take them off while I was asleep. Is that normal?

I know I'm messed up today. And I remember what my uncle did to me. I remember being naked on my back in the tall, dry grass while he MB on me. I remember feeling so dirty and the look on his face that made me realize he wasn't doing this for me. (I should put this in the story section, so I'll stop there.)

I guess I just hope that all of the weird things I remember aren't because of the SA. And I probably want the SA to have "not been that bad" or something. Or maybe I want to suddenly realize that none of it happened at all, and that I was just a normal kid. Which would not explain why I'm here at MS writing and crying, hurting and regretting, wishing I had a different life.
 
I saw a show about this once, about younger kids doing stuff like that. I think when they get older lik 8 or something it may be something to worry about but not 5. Little kids are naturally curious so they do the "ill show you mine if you show me yours". Did that help any or confuse everything more?
 
ForeverFighting,

As a young boy I did all the "normal" stuff. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Playing doctor. Nothing major or even anything you could consider perverse. After the SA I didn't do anything sexual until puberty. After that I was totally compulsive. I had my pants off as soon as I got home from school. Then, bang, I'd wack two or three times in a row to anythig even remotely sexual. I don't know how much of my masturbation was normal or if part of it was related to the abuse. I know my fantasies were ofter related to the abuse. I couldn't stop. I think that was one of the few pleasures I had. But, I always felt bad afterward like I was dirty. The fantasies didn't help but just made me more ashamed.

I just wanted to clarify - I don't remember any "sexual" thoughts prior to the SA.
 
Hey guys! There are those curiosities growing up that "most" boys adventure through; however, I see more and more young guys with a long history of sexual activity. Especially when we compile a time line of sexual history,*.MAY TRIGGER..*..*. they were introduced to sex very early (hands on, porn, seeing others, etc.) and engage in all types of sexual activities from then on. Some of these guys were chronic masturbaters by age 9 or 10. The general term for these guys is sexually reactive. There are several places on the web that give information about this. Easiest is to google or yahoo the term. Hope this helps!

Howard
 
Thanks, guys. It does help. That is exactly why I come here. Where else could I ask a question like that and get honest answers from guys who went through it? Thank you.
 
ForeverFighting,
My history was similar to yours. I'm not sure what normal is, but, I do have a 13 yo daughter and an 11 yo son. Neither of them have been sexually active, to the best of my knowledge, and both are bright, inquistive kids. They do ask questions about sex and we answer them as honestly as we can while still being age appropriate. Peace, Andrew
 
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