What will I put up with?

I have mentioned my therapist before, who seems to do anything but address the abuse issues that I went to him for in the first place.

Because I am limited by finances and a health plan, I have a narrow choice.

But I think I am at the point that I have to say enough. Enough of avoiding the issue. Either you can help me or you can't.

I think that I have learned more from my own reading, research and other survivors than I have through therapy.

I am going to confront my therapist at our next session. Let's deal with these issues or I need to move on. I don't want a few minutes of talking about it only to be steered somewhere else. This is important and vitel to me.

I have to do this. But it's hard because it means confrontation which I usually avoid at all costs.

 

[WalkingSouth]

Martym,

In regards to confrontation or the inability to confront, Survivors seem to fall into two camps when it comes to that subject. Those who find it difficult if not impossible, and those who confront first and think later. Neither way is particularly useful. I happen to have fallen into the latter category, much to my dismay and embarrassment. You're definitely not alone on this issue.

In regards to confronting your therapist about his apparent lack of facing your SA issues, I think you are on the right track. If I could offer a suggestion, it would be to just state your case calmly and succinctly. Tell him your perception of him is that he has been avoiding the issue and you feel you need to face it head on. Ask him if he is comfortable with that.

It could be that he is not trained in how to deal with that kind of trauma. Many T's are not. If he indicates he is unable or unwilling to take you in the direction you want to go, ask him for a referral to another T who will be covered by your insurance.

Just some thoughts I had when I read your post. I wish you well, my friend.

Lots of love,

John

 

[roadrunner]

Martym,

I am going to confront my therapist at our next session. Let's deal with these issues or I need to move on. I don't want a few minutes of talking about it only to be steered somewhere else. This is important and vitel to me.

I wonder if your T is misjudging your signals and thinks you might not be ready to grapple with the issues you have in mind. I would just put your concerns to him exactly as you have here. It's your recovery and your nickel, so he ought to be willing to hear that you need to move forward. Then draw your conclusions based on how he reacts.

But bear in mind that a really good T will want to keep you from retraumatizing yourself. What you see as refusal to face issues might for him be an effort to keep you safe.

Much love,
Larry