what the heck
totally lost
Registrant
We are moved from the corp. housing into our new house. I really thought it would help when we got into the house. How ever it seems almost worse. Very strange, I was feeling it but covering it from my husband. Then he said what he was feeling and it was just like me.
Feeling dizzy,disconnected, out of it, things seeming unreal. Just soooo horrible a way to feel. Now a week after being here he had to go out of town to a business meeting. Sort of a corp. training school they do. So he is two states away, having to share a hotel room with another man..."can you say HUGE stress". He was totally freaking out the first night. Remember he is the one who was followed home by and raped by the VP of the last company he worked for while training with that company out of town. So it is like a horror right now. He is being strong, just hanging out with his corp. trainer and a lady he knows from out here. I am having nightmares every night, can not even walk outside. The people here in Al. are VERY friendly. The nieghbors have brought over cakes and cookies..I have avoided them. I so need to go say hello and thank you, and I am afraid to. I almost feel like I will show from the outside what a mess I am inside. I am afraid of new people now, but mostly I am afraid of losing control around people, slipping up, letting some type of feeling I have show through.
I hate this. I want to feel normal. I want to stop feeling so strange inside. I feel like sometimes I am holding it in so much now, trying so hard to push it to the back of my mind..that it is just coming out in ways I can not control, the nightmares, the OCD raging again, fear and feelings of losing my mind, or conrol of myself.
Please tell me this will stop. I really just want it be better.My husband comes home after 8 nights away. He is driving 5 hours back just to stay for two nights before having to leave for 5 more days. I just want to hold him the whole time he is here. Just make time stop while I can when he is home.
The other thing we have to do is go on to the police. Well the court to put in the papers for the warrent on the man who attacked my husband. This is causing such fear in us..we keep putting it off. The police have been no help really, done evrything wrong. I just can not stand the thought of seeing that man, and hearing what we know he will say. After watching my husband break down for months, while now we both still feel like we are falling apart..how do you face that person, how do you react, what will happen if the court even goes through with the arrest.
Feeling dizzy,disconnected, out of it, things seeming unreal. Just soooo horrible a way to feel. Now a week after being here he had to go out of town to a business meeting. Sort of a corp. training school they do. So he is two states away, having to share a hotel room with another man..."can you say HUGE stress". He was totally freaking out the first night. Remember he is the one who was followed home by and raped by the VP of the last company he worked for while training with that company out of town. So it is like a horror right now. He is being strong, just hanging out with his corp. trainer and a lady he knows from out here. I am having nightmares every night, can not even walk outside. The people here in Al. are VERY friendly. The nieghbors have brought over cakes and cookies..I have avoided them. I so need to go say hello and thank you, and I am afraid to. I almost feel like I will show from the outside what a mess I am inside. I am afraid of new people now, but mostly I am afraid of losing control around people, slipping up, letting some type of feeling I have show through.
I hate this. I want to feel normal. I want to stop feeling so strange inside. I feel like sometimes I am holding it in so much now, trying so hard to push it to the back of my mind..that it is just coming out in ways I can not control, the nightmares, the OCD raging again, fear and feelings of losing my mind, or conrol of myself.
Please tell me this will stop. I really just want it be better.My husband comes home after 8 nights away. He is driving 5 hours back just to stay for two nights before having to leave for 5 more days. I just want to hold him the whole time he is here. Just make time stop while I can when he is home.
The other thing we have to do is go on to the police. Well the court to put in the papers for the warrent on the man who attacked my husband. This is causing such fear in us..we keep putting it off. The police have been no help really, done evrything wrong. I just can not stand the thought of seeing that man, and hearing what we know he will say. After watching my husband break down for months, while now we both still feel like we are falling apart..how do you face that person, how do you react, what will happen if the court even goes through with the arrest.