What should people never say to a male survivor?
I just finished reading Mary DeMuth article "In which these 21 things shouldnt be said to sexual abuse victims" (https://sarahbessey.com/21-things-shouldnt-said-sexual-abuse-victims-guest-post-mary-demuth/)
It's good to see more articles like this coming out, that help to broaden people's awareness of what sorts of things are not helpful to say to the survivors in their lives. As is often the case with such material, it is written from a women's perspective, most likely for a female audience.
We, as male survivors, can and do hear similar things, however, we do tend hear people say very different things to us in response to us opening up to them about our abuse. Things that female survivors rarely, if ever hear.
What I'd like to ask you all, is what kinds of things have you been told, in response to hearing about the abuse you survived, things that people probably shouldn't have said?
Perhaps we could also add what we would have liked to have heard, instead.
I guess I'll begin:
After telling a friend of mine, about how I was abused, she responded "Well, I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you, however, women and girls experience abuse like that all the time, you're experience of abuse by a women was actually pretty rare."
What she should have said: "I'm really sorry that happened to you. No one should ever have to experience something like that. You are not alone."
It's good to see more articles like this coming out, that help to broaden people's awareness of what sorts of things are not helpful to say to the survivors in their lives. As is often the case with such material, it is written from a women's perspective, most likely for a female audience.
We, as male survivors, can and do hear similar things, however, we do tend hear people say very different things to us in response to us opening up to them about our abuse. Things that female survivors rarely, if ever hear.
What I'd like to ask you all, is what kinds of things have you been told, in response to hearing about the abuse you survived, things that people probably shouldn't have said?
Perhaps we could also add what we would have liked to have heard, instead.
I guess I'll begin:
After telling a friend of mine, about how I was abused, she responded "Well, I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you, however, women and girls experience abuse like that all the time, you're experience of abuse by a women was actually pretty rare."
What she should have said: "I'm really sorry that happened to you. No one should ever have to experience something like that. You are not alone."
