what I would say to my abuser

what I would say to my abuser

You ruined my innocent teenage years you b***tard. I hate you for what you did. You drew me in, using my innocence and navet.

You abused the trust that my parents had placed in you as a choirmaster and piano teacher, and a sort of friend. Yes you wormed your way into the trust of my Mum and Dad…you weren't a stranger to them or me…we knew you.

You convinced me that “I was so special to you”. In private, you claimed that you had a son who died, and that I could be special in your eyes, thus you played with my emotions. How was I to know that this was your twisted way of getting inside my brain, and trousers?

You made me swear a vow of secrecy….never tell a soul…..this is our special secret. This is a secret forever…..You took my strongly held religious beliefs and used them against me, by making me swear to secrecy on the Bible… I had only just been Confirmed into the Church….imagine how I felt.

I can hardly bear to go near that church now, remembering the vestry, the organ loft, where it happened. You took me down into the cellar of a shop, which you had hired out for the choir. You made up some excuse to get me there.

You had the nerve to start it allduring a piano lesson, when your family where elsewhere in the same house.

You took me for a walk on Christmas Eve, down the churchyard, and into a shed, kissing me and “holding me”. What a way for me to remember Christmas.

You took me into the gents toilets at the church hall, and did the usual to me….spanking, kissing, fondling and getting me to do the same to you.

You would often call round at my home, and take me away from my family, with some excuse like “I need you to help me find some music” “I'll help you mend your bike” ….“I'll take the boys swimming”.

Yes, that's right, you got at my younger brothers too, didn't you, you evil ****.

Thank you, my first brother, for spilling the beans to Mum and Dad before he got to work on you too much.. It all came out that night, after you told them he had been touching your bum in the swimming pool…… you must have been about 12.

To my abuser, I'm pushing 40 now, and I have never forgotten what you took from me. How could you do it to me and my brothers?

Roast in Hell, when your time is up.

[ 05-21-2001: Message edited by: mark567 ]
 
Mark,

I hear you.

I am glad your speaking up, this is a good time to tell.

John
 
MARK...HOLD ON MARK! LET THE MADNESS OUT. GET RID OF THE PAIN. BUT, DON'T HURT YOURSELF OR BLAME YOURSELF IN ANY WAY. I'M WITH YOU IN SPIRIT! IT HAPPENED TO ME IN THE WOODS WHEN I WAS 8. I'M 53 NOW AND STILL DEALING WITH IT....BUT I'M BETTER NOW. MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU FRIEND, TAKE CARE......SCOT
 
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