What I want?
Yesterday I got a letter from my attorney. He had sent me a draft of a letter he wants to sent to the church about a week ago. I had started going through the letter and making some changes to the letter making sure all the "facts" were correct and adding some information that I thought was relevant to making my case. Also, I have been e-mailing himn and trying to keep him posted with what is going on and where I am at with the status of my case, and send him news articles that I think might be helpful to him in my case.
Back to the e-mail that I received. In it Tim ( my attorney ) said something that got me to thinking. One of the big things we are facing is that the statute of limtiations could be a probem for me. Wyoming law states that from the time you discovered that you were raped .... you have 7 years to file charges. Presbyterian Law states that from the time of discovery, you have one year to file charges. I don't know about you guys .... but just because I realized that I had been raped ..... did not mean that I was ready to deal with it and face my perp. I have one perp. that I still have not confronted. I am getting more courage and am thinking about pressing charges against him, but the thought of facing him in court is frightening. He is so controling and manipulative that I worry what he can and will do. Possibly harm me more than he already has.
Back to what Tim said in his letter. He indicated that we might not "be on the same page" Tim would like to see the whole thing settled without a court battle. He is concerned that psychologically I might not be ready to face a court battle ... and if we lose that it might cause more damage. The other thing is that we are in disagrement as to what I want. When I went to the minister about the rape he also asked me what it was that I wanted. I guess that Tim asking me got me to thinking. I had always had some ideas about what would be nice .... and I have seen the reports of victims in the Catholic church getting million dollar settelments ..... but was this what I really wanted.
So, to make a long story short, "What is it that I want to accomplish with this battle?"
1. I would like the Presbyterian Church U S A to acknoledge that I was Sexually asaulted by the Reverend Dr. Joseph Laughlin
2. I would like the Presbyterian Church to provide me with health insurance. (My current insurance is a COBRA plan form where I worked. I was let go because I was having trouble dealing with my superversor { she was treating me and doing several controling things that were very similar to the manipulation and control that my perp. used to S A me}) I feel that the S A is the reason that I was let go .... and the S A is the reason that I cannot get health insurance now. IF and it is a BIG IF I can obtain health insurance it would be with either a psychological exclusion or if it would cover Pshcyological expenses ..... the additional premium would make the policy unaffordable. I am currently paying $265.00/month for health insurance. This is about what I was paying for insurance before I went to work for the company that I have the COBRA plan with. I am willing to pay $265.00 for health insurance, but I think that any premium much over this amount should be covered by the church. Also, I think that the coverage of this policy should be the same as my current health insurance.
3. Since the majority of the expenses are for pshychological services and most of my therapy sessions deal with issues related to S A. I am currntly seeing my therapist once a week. My current insurance only pays for 30 visits a year. If I do get insurance I think that the church should pay for weekly therapy. And, if necessary daily therapy.
4. Durring the service of worship there are prayers of the congregation. I would like for every week, durring the prayers, there to be a mention that
We pray for the victims and survivors of MALE sexual asault."
5. At Christmas there is a "Ministers Christmas tree. It has ornaments for each of the ministers that have served the church. The ornaments are chroched, embroderied, Needle point. Dr. Laughlin's ornament is probably one of the most elaborate ornaments. I would like to see Dr. Laughlin's ornament removed from the tree.
6. I want to see steps taken by the Presbyterian Church U S A to prevent any child or adult from ever being harmed in the way I have been harmed.
This should include the implementation of a plan for making the "counseling enviroment " safe for people being counseled
I don't think that I am being unreasonable in these request.
Right now my biggest fear is that in February I will be without health insurance. I will be without health insurance because 19 years ago Dr. Joseph Laughlin sexually asaulted me durring a counceling session. There is also a concern that on another occasion Dr. Laughlin used a "Date Rape Drug" to take advantage of me. ( I do not like taking any drugs .... perscription or over the counter) While my memory of this incident is foggy ( date rape victims usually can't remember their S A's) I did recently return to the "scene of the crime" and in doing so am certain that something did happen that night. ( I just can't remember the details) I have some health problems that need to be adressed. Within five years I will probably have to have both knees replace and within 7 my right hip. Without Health insurance I am screwed.
I want to be fair .... but I also want justice.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
John