What Helps Me.- Night Terrors

What Helps Me.- Night Terrors
M

Mike Church

Registrant
My fellow brothers:

I have noticed that there are an awful lot of new guys joining every day and this in itself saddens me. But at the same time I am glad that they have found this community of ours.

When someone comes here they read, listen, post and join in. And I also see that there is a whole lot of support for new brothers as well as those of us who have been here for a while.

I thought that it might be a good time to start some threads that relates to things that we do to overcome some of the obstacles that Sexual Assault throws in our path.

You know what works for us. I think that this sort of thing will be really great for all of us. Especially the newcomers and those of us who are young and really struggling with all the issues.

I want each and every one of you who has something that works to write it here.

As you can see the first subject is Night Terrors, Nightmares, etc.

As an individual you can tell us what works for you. That way we will accumulate a list of things we all might try.


So have at it guys.

PS I HAVE STARTED ANOTHER THREAD ABOUT THE TOPICS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE COVERED THAT KNOWING WHAT WORKS FOR SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT WORK FOR YOU.
 
Hey Mike, this is a great idea.

When I was a kid I had nightmares. Ilearned how to become aware enough while I was still in the dream to change the outcome so that I would win. This is how I did it:

After you startle awake from the nightmare, immediately go over what happened in the dream and imagine it turning out a better way. i.e., imagine you got hold of an uzi or rocket launcher and blew away your monster/perp. whatever works for you, as long as you feel safe at the end.

Keep dong this every time you have a nightmare. Eventually your mind will be able to do it while you are still in the dream. Sometimes it requires some mental effort to derail the nightmare so that you are the winner. For instance, I was being chased, and my dream mind suddenly gave me a pistol, but when I pulled the trigger, nothig happened, so my mind replayed the scene again and forced the gun to shoot and I killed the attacker, WHILE I was still asleep. then I woke up anyway, but not in the same state of fear that happens if the nightmare is allowed to go unchecked.

I don't have nightmares very often anymore.

Ken
 
Also, there another kind of nightmare where I wake up on my feet, thinking that I am being attacked, and it takes me another minute to really come awake to reality. There doesn't seem to be any narrative dream leading up to that, so I don't know what to do about that type of night terror.

Ken
 
i took two weeks of dream replacement therapy and it worked on some aspects for a while...

the obejct is to replace your negavity imagery with other thoughts by meditating specifically on them during your waking hours...

i have night terrors about rabbits (true)...the symbology for me is very complex...in dream replacement therapy i worked on spending time with rabbits in real life, working on not being triggered by the site of them, and "replacing" the thoughts of the rabbits with the thought of something more peaceful and less threatening...in my case, llamas, which, for me, are sort of giant rabbits with hooves (on a very basic level. so i have effectively replaced a threatening image (of rabbits) with an animal i consider calm, contemplative, loyal, and protective...

dream therapy has also helped me be more lucid during my dream cycles and given me some more control over, when encountering rabbits in dreams, transforming them into llamas or waking myself up...it has not worked as successfully on other aspects of my nightmares (particularly other more overt sexual aspects), but it has helped cure the rabbit aspect...

no, i was not smoking crack when i wrote this...perhaps it sounds ludicrous...sorry...if i have more energy i would try to elaborate more concisely...i apologize...

but dream replacement therapy is good and it is relatively simple...just requires some discipline and determination...it does not happen overnight...
 
I have night terrors. I had them frequently, and I have not had them for a while. Often I would wake up screaming with no memory of the dream/nightmare. I believe my mind represses quite a bit from my consciousness.

Lucid dreaming was key for me. It took a lot of practice. At this point, I can focus on an issue before sleeping and dream about it. Before my mind would quickly venture off in a different direction from focus and I lost control of it all, but I have gotten better now. Before going to sleep, I try to direct my thoughts and dreams like a gameplan I guess. Sometimes I focus on math for example(kind of dorky I know), usually I get myself to dream about music, listening to it, writing it, working out musical problems. I am not a professional musician so the whole thing is quite disconnected from the bulk of my day-to-day life, which helps me a lot. I try to never use a memory of any kind, positive or negative, and usually I dream conceptually now and not so much in visual imagery (through active effort, not just automatically).

That has worked so far for me, and the whole thing is not as big of a pain in the butt as it sounds.
 
Often I would wake up screaming with no memory of the dream/nightmare.
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RemittentPeace,

Can you recommend a book or some resource to help with learning lucid dreaming? I had a lot of trouble last night with something that hits me just as I'm dozing, not after I've actually been asleep awhile. So I shouldn't be in a "dream state" yet, or so I've heard. I had gone weeks, if not a couple months without it, but I was scared out of my wits with some of the worst ever last night.
Sometimes I focus on math
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Are you a mathematician?

Thanks,

Joe
 
I will try to find a good one. I had a psychologist help me but I am sure she can recommend something.

As far as a mathematician, no I do investment banking. That's probably why my math is based on simple concepts. I don't really think much about sin, cos, algebraic formulas,etc when I am dreaming, although I do like geometry. I believe that's probably b/c my mind was to go back to visual imagery and that's pretty much the only math that will allow it ;)
 
There was an excellent documentary on UK tv the other night about sleep disorders, and although this particular programe dealt with young children this might be something to try.

A young girl about 5yo was suffering terrible night terrors every night. She had been filmed and clinicly diagnosed.
The specialist suggested that her parents wake her fully after one hours sleep and let her go back to sleep again straight away.

It worked, maybe get your partner to try it ? it's drug free and cheap.

Dave
 
Re: attempt to get some sleep
It worked, maybe get your partner to try it ? it's drug free and cheap.
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Dave,

Thanks, I'll ask. In the past I have complained that if she comes in and wakes me, I don't get back to sleep! But if I can learn to get back to sleep and I can get rid of whatever this is all in one shot, both of us will sleep better. Until a kid or cat needs something. :)

Re: resource on lucid dreaming
I will try to find a good one. I had a psychologist help me but I am sure she can recommend something.
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RemittentPeace,

Thanks. Last night wasn't as bad, but it did happen again. I wish I had some idea why. If I could just remember what it is that's hitting me, I could try to "deal with it."

Wow, did I say that?

I asked about math because my college major was math. I haven't done any real math in years, except reading on some subjects that I never studied. That's just to entertain myself. Recently I bought a book on philosophy of math and I love it. It's a lot of fun to think about the way I think about things, if you know what I mean. And it's got me started thinking about real math again, not just the philosophy.

At any rate, it's something outside SA that can keep my interest. That's worth its weight in gold these days.

Thanks,

Joe
 
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