What happens at the recovery weekends?

What happens at the recovery weekends?
R

roadrunner

Registrant
Dear Murray, Ken, Nathan, or whoever should see this,

I am rather new to MA (registered in May) so I am a bit unclear about what happens on the recovery weekends. I will confess that I don't cope well with entirely new situations _ I manage, but with a lot of fretting and worrying beforehand. A weekend dealing with myself as a survivor feels enormously unsettling and threatening, just because I don't know what you do.

I have read the information you have posted, but I wonder if you can provide some idea of what specifically is done on the weekends. I just ask because I have no idea. Are there role-playing exercises, is it more discussion-oriented, or what? Is it led by people we would know from the site: guys from the BoD, the mods, etc., or is it something you arrange and then it is led by guys completely new to us.

Sorry if this information is already provided somewhere, but I have looked and didn't see anything. I am just trying to get a handle on what is actually done.

Thanks,
Larry
 
Larry,

My name is Curtis, and you may have seen me hanging around this site.

Before last February, I was a regular member of MaleSurvivor, not on the Board. I attended my Level II Weekends of Recovery last September and my level I a year ago this past May.

Those retreats really helped my healing along. I went in as a quiet, shy, frightened person and came out with a better idea of who I was supposed to be. The activities vary but I can tell you a little about the Level I that I attended.

I remember not wanting to talk to anyone when I first got there because I was so shy. The place was very beautiful and very private, and the main room was like a huge rustic ski lodge. A really warm friendly guy named Dale showed me to my room and gave me a tour, and then I sat off to the side, not quite comfortable enough to interact with anyone.

Good ol Mike Church (yup, the very person I looked up to most on this discussion board) was the first person I met, well, the first to come over to me, and shook my hand and said, Come on friend, come meet some of the others. I told him I would, but I couldnt quite yet. He assured me that it was ok I was nervous, and with a Its damn good to meet you. He was off.

I started to walk around and as I passed a group of guys, I heard the name Bill and I said, Bill? From the discussion board? He said, Yup, Bill1965. ...I was already feeling like I had friends.

I really dont want to spoil the surprises, but there is a wonderful welcoming ceremony that helps ease nervousness and helps us get to know the group a little better but we never had to participate in anything we didnt want too.

All the safety rules are set up by the entire group before anything really even gets started we all sat around calling out our needs, No hugs without permission! No invalidating feelings! They were all written down on large tablet pads and put up on the walls like posters so we would see them all weekend.

Later we broke up into smaller groups, and had little group sessions that really felt great. We could tell our story to this group and since it was small and un-intimidating, we were all quite comfortable. We were listened to, we were heard, we were believed, we were not judged and we found so much comfort.

Later we would all get back together as a big group and do other things meals were always a good time I remember in the down time I would wonder around and find different folks to hang out with you could always find someone down in the dining hall having coffee no matter what the time was we were always up till 2 in the morning and ready to go again the next day.

There was a drumming circle, we meditated, we sang, we used Improvisational Movement Therapy (dance in other words, and I gave myself permission to sit that one out but participated enthusiastically at the level II!)

Weekends of Recovery are challenging and your comfort level is pushed, but this is one of those things you come away from so glad that you did it and wondering how you ever could have been so frightened of something so wonderful.

If I could go again I would be there in a heartbeat sigh. And Alta is gorgeous! You can see the Milky Way at night!

Making the decision to go is the hardest part, but once youre there they are like magic.

You can read more about my experience if you click my quote below.

If you are not ready, then wait because there will be others, however, if you are on the fence, give yourself a push and go for it! Chances are you will be glad you did.


Click here to see what others have said...

You should feel free to contact me if you have any other questions.

Take care,

PS At my last Weekend I rode the van back to the airport with a great guy from Germany. I asked him why he came all the way over here for a retreat. He said, "Curtis, MaleSurvivor is the only organization in the world that does anything like this. I researched so many groups and been to other weekend events... but this is it."
 
I sure wish I had the confidence to fly that far, it sounds really good. :)
Aint got the money either, :p

ste
 
I just wish I could be there.

Dave
 
I hold a very special place in my heart for the Weekends of Recovery program, they made me the person I was meant to be. That's why I joined the board, so I can give back and help the program thrive.

One of my long term dreams is to find a way for anyone who wants to get to a Weekend a way to get there.

That is not any kind of a formal board approved announcement or anything... just a dream.

But I'm going to do my damnedest.
 
No invalidating feelings!
Click to expand...
I had to snip this out, because it happens so much in here.

I always try not to do this, as I know the hurt.

It is just something that really irks me in life, and in this place, where we should be aware of others' feelings.

In the outside world, i just have to take it, but not in here,

ste
 
Several people have already donated money for full and partial scholarships to the Weekend of Recovery. Contact Howard Fradkin, the program chairman. We have not yet had donations, though, to cover transportation costs. Best of luck!

Murray
 
Curtis,

Thanks for providing all that info. It really does sound great. I will check into it, at least to see if there are still places.

Larry
 
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