What gives? Whats happening?

What gives? Whats happening?
P

PhillyPa

Registrant
Is it normal to feel, like, a crushing feeling in your chest all the time? And when you think of what your going through, tidal wave of emotions turn you into this baby?
I mean, is this a depression? and is it part of the recovery process or is it part of getting worse?
When you began, did you feel this constant yearning for an ear? For someone to tell?

Thanks in advance.
 
Sounds like normal survivor experience to me. All you have held in for so long finding its way out. Built up pressure and emotional release. Go with the flow. Let it wash over you like a healing river. It is hard. I know. And it doesnt ever completely end. But the alternative is a slow silent sense of loss that will follow you every day of your life. Let the hurt out and let life in.

Aden
 
I'll echo what Aden said, I think he's right on the mark. During those first couple of therapy sessions with my therapist, man I came unglued in a major way, spilling my insides like Mount St. Helens blowing the lid. I gradually slowed down after a few sessions, but finally finding someone to talk to in depth about it opened the floodgates.
 
Philly, I dont know if it helps but Im right there with you. What I learned from therapy and VNL is that this is normal, somehow it doesnt seam to matter when the pain is crushing.

There's a line in a Ben Harper song
goes "like a soldier standing under fire any change comes as a releaf"
For some reason I can realate to this.
It feals like a fight that I'm not sure
I can win.

Phill I'm scared, but I have to belive were going to be better off doing the recovery work,
as painfull as it is. I dont know if it helps
but I'm right there to.

Good luck.
 
Thanks guys. Good thing i'm not having a heart attack or anything. Well, we'll see about that. But, the point is - it's not unusual.

Thanks for your encouragement and support.
 
It certainly is not unusual, it is like bobbing up and down in an ocean thinking you will drown.

You wont drown and you will get there, because you know that many others have been there, just jump into the liferaft we throw to you.

It is so hard to deal with all these emotions, but the more we deal with them and identify them as they are, we are more able to fix them,

Peace,

ste
 
Philly, your symptoms certainly sound like some of the typical feelings one has when they are anxious. Feeling like there is a band around the head, shaking, hyperventilating, feeling dizzy, feeling a vague fear, queasyness in the stomach--all of these and more are common to anxiety.

However, depending on your age and lifestyle, the "crushing" feeling in the chest is worth getting checked out. It is most likely not your heart. But that is a classic symptom of angina type CAD. Patients often express it as feeling like there is a huge rock on their chests. But others do say that it feels like a steel band tightening on their chest.

If you have trouble with anxiety I think the book HOPE AND HELP FOR YOUR NEERVES by Claire WeekesMD is the best I have ever read. It might not be in print anymore though and I have given away all the copies I had.

Bob
 
Philly - it's about a year since I came here & one of the first things I commented on was that sometimes I felt like shouting it from the rooftops, others I just felt like saying nothing.

I took my time and did what felt best for me at each step - I have now told the police (among many others) & could have a court case this year. My perp now lives in fear (as he should) & I am taking major advances on the route to recovery.

I am no longer ashamed of myself (and why should any of us be)and intend to progress even further this year.

The abuse will always be in my mind, but it no longer controls it.

I believe that what you are feeling is part of the recovery process - actually feeling something again leads to the road where you can feel happiness again.

Best wishes ...Rik
 
My therapist always said recovery is like an onion, sometimes you peel it down to a rotten part but it doesnt mean youre going backwards.

You just got to keep on peeling through the ugly parts.
 
It does sound quite like anxiety or depression. And I would think both of those are quite commen to us. I recall first dealing with all this, there would be days that were just total panic attacks, with only few minutes or hour break in between, before the next one come on. But it gets better. The panic, the anxiety, the flashbacks, the depression, all of it gets better. Try to maintain faith of that.

leosha
 
this is very familiar sounding
yes
 
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