What exactly is a trigger?
What exactly is a trigger?
- Thread starterJonathon
- Start date
that's OK Jonathon. Thanks for asking.A "trigger" is usually considered to be a description of something of a rather graphic nature that a member uses in talking about perhaps the specifics of his abuse. It also may be any other thing a person says which he considers may trigger reaction in another person.
When talked about in relation to a post, it is appreciated if the poster will put a "trigger" warning on his post to warn readers of the possible triggering content. This warning is intended so that they can then make a decision about whether they want to read further. Often someone may not be in a place where they feel they can read triggering content and they really appreciate such warnings.
That is a rather amateurish way of describing "trigger" to you, but it's the best I could do for the time of night I did it!
Lots of love,
John
For me the worst trigger used to be "old spice" aftershave as my perp used to bathe in the stuff.
roadrunner
Registrant
Jonathan,
Here's an example of how a trigger works. I used to panic any time someone would compliment me on how I looked. I could never understand why that happened, but it turns out that when I was being abused the abuser would sometimes call me "lovely boy" or "wonderful boy" or some other such thing right as the end. That made me think that I had somehow attracted him, and even after the abuse ended that fear stuck with me. So whenever someone would give me a compliment, even if my mother said I looked nice when I came downstairs ready to go to church, that would "trigger" me. It would set off that old feeling of fear and alarm.
Duncan refers to another one. The man who abused him used a lot of a particular aftershave, and even years later just smelling that aftershave would set him off, I suppose with a feeling of danger or remembering what had been done to him.
Being triggered is unpleasant and for some guys it's a real problem - it can make them feel very unsafe. That's why the site asks that we put trigger warnings on our posts if they contain anything explicit. Guys who have problems with triggers will know not to read that post.
Much love,
Larry
Here's an example of how a trigger works. I used to panic any time someone would compliment me on how I looked. I could never understand why that happened, but it turns out that when I was being abused the abuser would sometimes call me "lovely boy" or "wonderful boy" or some other such thing right as the end. That made me think that I had somehow attracted him, and even after the abuse ended that fear stuck with me. So whenever someone would give me a compliment, even if my mother said I looked nice when I came downstairs ready to go to church, that would "trigger" me. It would set off that old feeling of fear and alarm.
Duncan refers to another one. The man who abused him used a lot of a particular aftershave, and even years later just smelling that aftershave would set him off, I suppose with a feeling of danger or remembering what had been done to him.
Being triggered is unpleasant and for some guys it's a real problem - it can make them feel very unsafe. That's why the site asks that we put trigger warnings on our posts if they contain anything explicit. Guys who have problems with triggers will know not to read that post.
Much love,
Larry
It's whatever makes you emotionally re-live some aspect of the trauma. Sounds, smells, places, voices or some "reminder" of the abuse enters your life and emotionally you feel the same feelings a when you were abused. I thought it was like flashbacks in the movies, where there is visual replay of the horrible experience; it's like that except there isn't a visual but and emotional replay.
Halibut
Halibut
I think I am triggered all the time without even knowing it. I always have to get the hell out of some relationship or situationship or other. But I thought that that was because the world was really fully of evil controlling bastards wanting to take take take. I have to let this one sink in,
I found something on tiggers while reading today. It's from Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. P. 41.
"In other words, most of -- even though we are infinite choice-makers -- have become bundles of conditioned reflexes that are constantly being triggered by people and circumstances into predictable outcomes of behavior. These conditioned reflexes are like Pavlovian conditioning. Pavlov is famous for demonstrating that if you give a dog something to eat everytime you ring a bell, soon the dog starts to salivate when you just ring the bell, because it has associated one stimulus with the other.
Most of us, as a result of conditioning, have repetitious and predicatable responses to the stimuli in our environment. Our reactions seem to be automatically triggered by people and circumstances, and we forget that these are still choices that we are making in very moment of our existence. We are simply making these choices unconsciously.
If you step back for a moment and witness the choices you are making as you make those choices, then in just this act of witnessing, you take the whole process from the unconscious realm into the conscious realm. This procedure of conscious choice-making and witnessing is very empowering."
Quite a lot to ponder here but I thought I would share it.
Cheers, Jonathon
"In other words, most of -- even though we are infinite choice-makers -- have become bundles of conditioned reflexes that are constantly being triggered by people and circumstances into predictable outcomes of behavior. These conditioned reflexes are like Pavlovian conditioning. Pavlov is famous for demonstrating that if you give a dog something to eat everytime you ring a bell, soon the dog starts to salivate when you just ring the bell, because it has associated one stimulus with the other.
Most of us, as a result of conditioning, have repetitious and predicatable responses to the stimuli in our environment. Our reactions seem to be automatically triggered by people and circumstances, and we forget that these are still choices that we are making in very moment of our existence. We are simply making these choices unconsciously.
If you step back for a moment and witness the choices you are making as you make those choices, then in just this act of witnessing, you take the whole process from the unconscious realm into the conscious realm. This procedure of conscious choice-making and witnessing is very empowering."
Quite a lot to ponder here but I thought I would share it.
Cheers, Jonathon
24yearsandcounting
Registrant
This is the 4th thread or so I read, and I didn't find anything worth remarking on till I read about Deepak Chopra. I had heard about his work before but nothing sparked my interest in following up w/ his stuff, till I saw this. Thanks for sharing that. Getting too routine is kind of a problem of mine. I get too settled in, with whatever I'm doing I think, even if it isn't that good for me. Deepak described my life to a Tee almost. Thanks for sharing that, and Thanks Deepak ~sending good karma your way~