What does it mean to be a man


In western society men and women are only allowed to have half of the human emotions.
Anger is for men. Empathy is for women.
But most of us naturally have all of these traits in some form or another. But our culture shames both genders into sticking to your side of the emotions. Or if you show the other traits you must be gay.
I reject this. You can be "soft", loving, kind, empathetic, not dominant, art loving, gentle, non athletic and still be a "man". And it doesn't say a thing about who you are attracted too. On the ranch some bulls are aggressive and some are "Ferdinand's" gentle ones. Some cows can be aggressive wanting to keep you away.
We do much harm trying to put people into boxes and only allowing half of all of human emotions.

From an internet search on Masculine and Feminine traits...

"Masculine traits"
More interested in abstract ideas and concepts. (Facts over feels)
Sexual appetite

"Feminine traits"
Completely agree. Gender stereotyping is not only stupid, but it is also dangerous. "Men don't cry" is one of the worst, especially from a mental health perspective.

With the exception of violence, I have all traits assigned to each gender to one degree or another. And I am fine with that. And the only reason I probably have an aversion to violence is due to combat experience.

Thanks for posting this.
Thanks for the post! Lists of traits are like labels - usually designed by society to segregate and control. How many years have I raged because “big boys don’t cry” when a cry is what I needed and would have had less impact on myself, my kids and others.


We all can be brought to tears, societies definitions are usually wrong learning who you are pursuing that is best left to the individual not a group to define you. There is in fact only one you,
Which makes you irreplaceable.


Well, it is hard. But yes, it'd be nice if there was a way to do it. I was in high school and Lola by the Kinks was popular. It saved me in some ways thinking other people have felt like this. When they asked him why he wrote it he said, "in England at that time if you weren't a footballer, you weren't a man," and he thought not all men could be footballers.

You have no idea how happy it made me that anyone (besides me) felt like that.

But it's gone too far now I think. Watching the kids getting off the bus like pre teens, 7th grade you can't tell them apart a lot of the time. On the other hand I just sound like the old people now because that's what they used to say to us with our long hair lol.


For me it was cars, engines, design and style. The guys I hung around were into Mustangs, Camaros, Firebirds, Roadrunners and the like (Yeah, I'm old). We didn't play sports, or if we did, it was just to get a passing grade. Yes, there were the football and baseball players and they were probably thought to be more masculine than we were - but , hey, who drove the cooler car? However, there was a hierarchy in that arena, too. The louder, faster and more radical sounding the car, the more of a man he was thought to be by some. They can rumble all they want - I still drive my Thunderbird.


I can identify with this. I have mostly the "feminine" traits and I battle with myself sometimes trying to be more "manly" when I need to learn to just enjoy being who I am. I know logically there is nothing wrong with who I am, but my anxiety lies to me all the time.