What does "boundary" mean?

What does "boundary" mean?
James_dup1

James_dup1

Registrant
Webster's defines it as:

Main Entry: boundary
Pronunciation: 'baun-d(&-)rE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -aries
Date: 1626
: something (as a line, point, or plane) that indicates or fixes a limit or extent


But as a survivor I hear that word a lot. But what does it mean to ya'll? I know there are good one's and bad one's. I understand that what was done to me was an example of a bad one. What are some examples of good one's? Thanks your your help brothers.
James
 
James: An interesting question. Boudaries!! Good ones!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm!

In my case I have made a boundary around my addicions to alcohol, heroin and the worst of all humiliating and degrading violence upon myself. The boundary is that I recognize my addiction and choose not to step over that line and drink, shoot up or seek it out today. To do so probably would be the end of my life as I know it.

Another boundary for me. When I am here and seein someones post or in chat and see someones comments. That in itself is not a boundary. But the tone, any perceived inappropriate comments or comments that make me want to literally shake some sense into someone will establish a boundary for me. I have to consider my perception of their emotional state etc etc. Because I know how easy it is to set me off and I hate like hell doing it to someone else.

Other good boundaries. If you have children negotiated rules are in a way boundaries to be respected. To know when to hug a person in their personal space and when to stay out of if is a recognition of a boundary

Methinks I am rambling so I will stop.
 
James, I will give you example of boundary I make recently. There is female friend I make at a chat room I would go at sometime. And she has similar background of me, and we talk a lot and enjoyed to be friends. And she started wishing us to be more friendly than I can do, it is more personal than I can be with someone? She was wishing my phone number, so that she could check on me if she felt I was unsafe or such. And I did NOT wish to do that, I do not like the phone anyway, but that was far too personal, too much as real life than I was ready to do. So finally I am able to say no at her, and she was upset at me for it. It bother me a lot, that I hurt someone's feelings by doing this, by set this boundary, but I did not drop off that boundary, I keep it with her. And eventually we talk through it some, and she end up even being proud of me to do that with her. That is first time since all this come up at me that I really set boundary, and stay with it, and I am still some proud of it, even though it was hard and did not feel right at the time. I trust that as I set more, they will maybe be easier to me, and feel better for me. Good luck to you James,

Leosha
 
Hi James,
Boundaries for me are the behaviours or actions of others or myself that make me feel comfortable or uncomfortable. Safe boundaries make me feel comfortable and relaxed. When I feel unsafe or uncomfortable, boundaries have been crossed and cues missed. Peace, Andrew
 
I am with Andrew in his description.

Unfortunately boundaries in behavior and actions are not as clearly defined as lines on a map or the fence between your yard and your neighbor's. What might be fine now could make you shutter in fear a few moments from now. This does not make it an easy task to define our boundaries.

Bill
 
Anyone who has been sexually abused is suffering because someone who crossed a boundary that shouldnt have been crossed.

Green
 
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