Being here and asking your question is an ask for help. Keep asking.
I know you may be reticent to talk about what kind of help you need. If you're acting out and want to change but can't, a therapist should be able to help. If you're afraid of acting out and hurting yourself or others, please reach out to a national or local crisis line, or a mature trusted confident.
If you're just dealing with sudden memories of sexual abuse, again a therapist can help.
Your relationships with loved ones, community members and internet friends is unclear if they are good help. Most of my "friends" just ignored me when I first mentioned my CSA to them, most just don't know what to say to someone with out experiences.
First welcome to MS. Sorry you need this place, saying that, you have reached out for help here. Like Dolphin says the best help is a Therapist, Psychologist or a Psychiatrist. Here at MS we share our Traumas with hopes that it will help others and also to gain support. Reading what others say here helps you to validate your own experiences. While our stories are all different there are similarities and the out come seems to be very similar.
Here to support when needed is the way I think it works here. It is very difficult to trust people again. Here our identities are protected and you should guard your contact info. I think the way to start to trust again is to talk and listen, here is a good place to come and talk and listen with men that know what you are talking about and don't blow you off. It is helpful to talk with other Men that know first hand about sexual abuse and rape.