What do you guys fear the most?

What do you guys fear the most?
F

fusionoflove

Registrant
I'm in constant contact with a girl, who's my age, that's going through the same thing as me. It's great to have a friend, especially a woman. I really like the emotional contact. I asked her tonight, what does she fear about recovery? She said that she isn't scared of recovery, but that nothing good will come out it. Bascially, that she'll never be good enough for another guy. That she'll end up all alone.

I only ask because I find the more that I talk about what I'm going through the better I feel. What's your thoughts, brothers? What is or was your biggest fear about recovery?

Take it easy,
Fusion
 
I have to agree with your lady friend. I am scared to death no woman will ever see me as fit to settle down with. I want a family so bad I can taste it. I ache for a love in my life. But, I always have this voice that tells me no woman would ever want someone as messed up as I am. That thought makes my blood run cold. I feel I have to much love in me to never share it with another person.

My greatest fear used to be that I would turn into an abuser myself. I kept away from people as much as I could, but I am not cut out for a life of solitude. I now realize I could never do that to another person. I wouldn't want to wish this pain on any other person, let alone be the cause of it.
Casey
 
Fusion,

My only fear about recovery is the unknown that I stll have to face. But I do believe everything will come out all right.

I was reading some of my older post and have reliazed that recovery is already happening. It sometimes seems overwhelming that so much has yet to be done. But we are doing it.

Peace,

Marc
 
My biggest fear about recovery:

Well I guess for me it is the Committee of Assholes in my brain that keep up their incessant chatter about being worthless etc and that I fall back into the old shit.

Some day I hope to disband and retire this effen committee.
 
Fusion,

Recovery itself holds no fear for me. It's always out there, somewhere in the future. The past, that's where the fear is. If it would just stay in the past, then recovery would be the present, I think.

Or maybe I'm still confused?

Thanks,

Joe
 
My biggest fear ... well, I was married for 14 years before I realized that I was even SA. I was and am scared of the changes that my occur after 38 years of denial (ignorance is bliss??) in my personality. I have alwasy been a big teddy bear huggy kind of guy who couold light up a room and make everyone laugh (my best form of escaping is joking).

Anyway, I am afraid that I am not a good humured of funny or sensative person on the inside and all of these changes might make my wife see the REAL me and scare the SH*T out of her and send her running and screaming into the night.

She swears that it will never happen and that I will not have big personality changes, I will be just stronger and better!

PEACE and GOD BLESS!

TJ
 
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