What do you do when you can't forget?

[mpjq]

I am in my 60s and my sexual assault came when I was 10 -13 years old. I got away from the boys, but what they did made them unforgettable when I wanted to have relations with my partners. These last 50 years those moments were in bed with us. What did I do about it? I lied. I told whomever I was with that what we were doing was all about just us.

So if young survivors out there are beating yourselves up over not forgetting, please stop. You didn't ask for any of this. We live with many thoughts in our heads. Let this be just one more.

 

[Blessedcurse]

I am in my 60s and my sexual assault came when I was 10 -13 years old. I got away from the boys, but what they did made them unforgettable when I wanted to have relations with my partners. These last 50 years those moments were in bed with us. What did I do about it? I lied. I told whomever I was with that what we were doing was all about just us.

So if young survivors out there are beating yourselves up over not forgetting, please stop. You didn't ask for any of this. We live with many thoughts in our heads. Let this be just one more.

Thank you. Maybe I needed to hear this today from somebody who is older than me. For me it has nothing to do with sexuality but with everything else. Identity, love. I have beaten myself up for so long for "dwelling" on abuse memories and not moving on, not building my identity and love on something healthy. But the reality is just like for you. All my attempts at building on "something healthy" have been lies to myself and others. Then I have "relapsed" into this, but this is who I am. I am not a sickness. Even if i am broken I am me. This is the truth.

 

[dcwofhs90]

I can't forget about it. Ever.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

 

[mpjq]

For me, I dwell on it while looking at the clock. After 15 minutes I begin my mantra. A mantra is a phrase you repeat and repeat over in your head. My mantra is Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom.

This may take 15 minutes to stop my ruminating.

But remember, remembering brought you here and those memories just might save a life with Male Survivors.

 

[raffa_will_fight]

To think I once didn’t know. Seems like a good thing. I know it’s not. How can I know who I am, if I don’t know what i have been through?

I am in my 60s and my sexual assault came when I was 10 -13 years old. I got away from the boys, but what they did made them unforgettable when I wanted to have relations with my partners. These last 50 years those moments were in bed with us. What did I do about it? I lied. I told whomever I was with that what we were doing was all about just us.

So if young survivors out there are beating yourselves up over not forgetting, please stop. You didn't ask for any of this. We live with many thoughts in our heads. Let this be just one more.

it’s not easy when a life long you were considered wrong for what you like and say. But you are right, the thoughts are many. The emotions though…. just have started. some days I don’t know how to drown them.