What Are the Most Common CSA Scenarios
What Are the Most Common CSA Scenarios
- Thread starterBarkabus
- Start date
Noctis
Registrant
hey Mike, your T is a moron. who the hell says "i've never heard of anything like that before" to a patient!? (regardless of whether it's true or not) that's the fastest way to freak them out and make them feel alienated and alone. wtf, seriously... a T should know better. what sucks is that those kind of comments stay with you, even when you know better.
so the thing with your dad - i'm assuming you don't know his motivations? he might just be really casual about nudity, some people are. but it's also possible he wanted (consciously or subconsciously) to be seen, and his body to be admired. if he noticed you noticing him, that could have created a feedback loop - he wanted you to keep looking, so kept making himself available.
if it was deliberate, that's abusive. if it was just casual nudity, the intent may not have been there, but that doesn't mean it can't have had negative effects. this is particularly the case for a kid who has already been abused or sexualized - for them, a naked body has a very different meaning than for a kid who hasn't experienced those things. the kind of fixation you describe sounds like your mental pathways had already been primed to respond to that kind of exhibitionism. and don't forget, just because we liked something, doesn't mean it wasn't abusive.
Mike, you're the person who welcomed me into the community - you engage people in the forums and chat, and you're a friend and support to me and a lot of other people here. i'm not sure how much more 'belonging' you can get!
so the thing with your dad - i'm assuming you don't know his motivations? he might just be really casual about nudity, some people are. but it's also possible he wanted (consciously or subconsciously) to be seen, and his body to be admired. if he noticed you noticing him, that could have created a feedback loop - he wanted you to keep looking, so kept making himself available.
if it was deliberate, that's abusive. if it was just casual nudity, the intent may not have been there, but that doesn't mean it can't have had negative effects. this is particularly the case for a kid who has already been abused or sexualized - for them, a naked body has a very different meaning than for a kid who hasn't experienced those things. the kind of fixation you describe sounds like your mental pathways had already been primed to respond to that kind of exhibitionism. and don't forget, just because we liked something, doesn't mean it wasn't abusive.
Mike, you're the person who welcomed me into the community - you engage people in the forums and chat, and you're a friend and support to me and a lot of other people here. i'm not sure how much more 'belonging' you can get!
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wearytraveler
Registrant
my bro in law 11/12 - he was 22 at the time it started
Hi Bri
Thanks. I have been trying to lay open the wounds from my past for around 20 years now. I have not been able to completely do that yet. I guess I am looking for the validation before I can let it out. Have not found that yet. As I do find validation here more comes out all the time.
I have told a lot about my past but not all of it and certainly not the worst here and at another site I don't go to anymore. This site is the closet I have ever felt I may fit in. I hope that makes sense to you. This site is helping me.
I do find it hard to make and keep friends here as well. I always feel people come and talk to me for a bit and then they are gone never to hear from them again. That maybe the nature of online community. It makes me feel unliked and not wanted. I don't think people do that intentionally at time it just feels like thats my life people are always leaving.
I found another place like this site back in the 90's. I started to write my story I wrote about my first perpetrator who looking back I believe I had a boyhood crush on him he never hurt me, he was always nice to me and I let him do anything he wanted to do to me, I missed him when he was away at school he had me hook line and sinker he could do and did do anything he wanted to me.
It wasn't a good thing to be doing and I have paid for it my whole life. It was not a bad experience until it was over and now that I can look back on it it shaped me into the boy I turned into. Was I a bad boy or did I just meet a bad man.
I wrote about him as I was talking to a few people on that site and made what I thought to be a friend he asked if he could read what I had written so far and stupid trusting me sent it to him. What I got back floored me. He invited me to come and stay with him and his wife have a 3 way. I was in a bad state of mind and vulnerable I left the internet and it took me 15 years to come back online.
I am not sure why I have told you this here in this thread just seem to fit in.
Esterio
Thanks. I have been trying to lay open the wounds from my past for around 20 years now. I have not been able to completely do that yet. I guess I am looking for the validation before I can let it out. Have not found that yet. As I do find validation here more comes out all the time.
I have told a lot about my past but not all of it and certainly not the worst here and at another site I don't go to anymore. This site is the closet I have ever felt I may fit in. I hope that makes sense to you. This site is helping me.
I do find it hard to make and keep friends here as well. I always feel people come and talk to me for a bit and then they are gone never to hear from them again. That maybe the nature of online community. It makes me feel unliked and not wanted. I don't think people do that intentionally at time it just feels like thats my life people are always leaving.
I found another place like this site back in the 90's. I started to write my story I wrote about my first perpetrator who looking back I believe I had a boyhood crush on him he never hurt me, he was always nice to me and I let him do anything he wanted to do to me, I missed him when he was away at school he had me hook line and sinker he could do and did do anything he wanted to me.
It wasn't a good thing to be doing and I have paid for it my whole life. It was not a bad experience until it was over and now that I can look back on it it shaped me into the boy I turned into. Was I a bad boy or did I just meet a bad man.
I wrote about him as I was talking to a few people on that site and made what I thought to be a friend he asked if he could read what I had written so far and stupid trusting me sent it to him. What I got back floored me. He invited me to come and stay with him and his wife have a 3 way. I was in a bad state of mind and vulnerable I left the internet and it took me 15 years to come back online.
I am not sure why I have told you this here in this thread just seem to fit in.
Esterio
I’m aware that the majority of csa victims know the perp, but I don’t recall detailed stats on the prevalence of any specific subcategory of abuse. In my case, the perp was a college-age summer camp counselor when I was thirteen.
...A green pup tent, a bunk bed, a pile of dirty laundry in our camp cabin, and a car on the way to the airport...
Will
...A green pup tent, a bunk bed, a pile of dirty laundry in our camp cabin, and a car on the way to the airport...
Will
stepdad when i was 5 1/2 and he was upper 30s. basement shower, garage, bathroom, my bed.
peers and slightly older boys when i was 11-13 and they were 11-15 - in middle school rest room, locker room and showers, pool, hallways, classrooms, school grounds, school bus.
peers and much older boys in scouts when i was 11-13 and they were 11-19 - lake, tent, cabin and woods on camp-outs, school gym.
stranger: clerk in a menswear fitting room when i was 15 and he was 30s?
peers and slightly older boys when i was 11-13 and they were 11-15 - in middle school rest room, locker room and showers, pool, hallways, classrooms, school grounds, school bus.
peers and much older boys in scouts when i was 11-13 and they were 11-19 - lake, tent, cabin and woods on camp-outs, school gym.
stranger: clerk in a menswear fitting room when i was 15 and he was 30s?
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