Were there things that your abuser complimented...

Were there things that your abuser complimented...
Jack1

Jack1

Were there things that your abuser complimented about you that you felt very good about as an adult but didn't know why.

I have always felt very good about how my butt looked and have gotten compliments on it as an adult. It was the only thing my ex-wife ever gave me a compliment on. When in my 20's several of the married men who I provided benefits to also complimented me on my behind, saying it still looked like a teen boy's butt. It has been a fetish of mine to make sure my butt always looks good, almost to the point that it has become tiresome. Until recently I didn't understand why I felt this way until I started recalling some of the CSA. I now remember them fondling my ass, telling me it was beautiful, telling me how nice it looked when they penetrated it. Telling me I had a very fuckable butt. Telling me how they loved seeing my butt with them buried deep inside of it.

Even though I'm 77 years old I've stayed in great shape and my wife still compliments me on my butt. She compliments me on my back, shoulders and legs but the butt compliments mean the most to me. Unsurprisingly though I'm starting to think it won't last and due to my age my "cute" butt will go away. As tired as I am of doing things like squats to maintain it, I am starting to regret the impending loss.

I know this butt fetish stems from my CSA but I can't seem to shake loose of it. This is embarrassing for me to even post about it but here it is.

Do you have anything which your abuser harnessed you for a lifetime.
 
Jack,
When I was 8, my abuser was totally fixated on my butt and desperately wanted to penetrate me. In the beginning (pre-penetration) he would fu*k me for an hour at a time externally. I just had a possible memory of his first penetration. I had a cute butt too (it’s sagged a bit these days) but he wanted it so bad. I’m guessing once he found paydirt that it became a weekly thing with him. For some reason I wasn’t scared with him trying to penetrate me, but very afraid of sucking his big di*k, which I now believe not only eventually happened with regularity but to my surprise I soon learned to enjoy…
 
Al, my first abuser would compliment me on how long I would last before I came. I was 11 when he would suck me. I needed to look at porn of girls to get off.
Next he would say I will make some girl happy with my nice looking big dick. I was 11 with a little 2 or 3 inch dick.
Then him and his buddy Don would give me compliments about how good I suck their cocks. I couldn't get more than half of it down and less with All because he was 8 inches and I would gag but keep trying until they came .
They would compliment me on far I can get a wine or beer bottle in my ass. Or taking all of there dicks in me as I was yelling in a pillow.
Ohh, they gave me lots of compliments.
 
My skin. I hated it and still do most days.

He’d say “yea you mixed every ‘cept that d boy!” Like he was proud of it. I thought if I punched myself enough maybe it would just stop working.

I don’t even want to go near what my mom would say.

My skin feels like its nothing but nerve endings right now.
 
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I'm not certain how I feel right now. I had forgotten this stuff. However, while I'm reading this, I'm thinking, that was me. He loved my butt and I liked that. I'm not sexually active with men, but I do some glute exercises because the shape of my butt still matters to me. I'm almost in tears. I'm so connected to you guys. I love you guys, I love this group. It is helping me so much to know I'm not alone.
 
This gets a bit skewed because I got mixed messages from my abuser. One the one hand, he would tell me I'm beautiful. And then on the other, he would stand me in front of the mirror and point out all my flaws, or things I needed to work on to maintain this "perfection."

The part he focused on the most was the "boy Y." I don't even know what muscles they are. Obliques? leg muscles? Groin muscles? they are the ones that cut down on your lower abdomen and point to your dick essentially. That always had to be chiseled and defined.
 
Jack1 said:
Were there things that your abuser complimented about you that you felt very good about as an adult but didn't know why
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Also my bottom. My stepgrandparents always referred to my round "buns". He always said "spread those buns" when he was soaping me back there etc. My Nan- said how much she liked to "sqeeze his buns" - even said it to my parents several times. So whenever I hear someone refer to a backside/bottom/butt as "buns" that is my first thought.

There were a few others who complemented me on how nice I looked naked- and how I didn't have tan-lines during the late summer/fall.
 
I was constantly told how good I looked naked by my abuser, as silly as this sounds I actually felt good hearing it. He would always say I had a nice cute butt as he was rubbing and squeezing it. He would always comment at how hard I would get when he touched my penis. I always knew it was wrong and I shouldn’t be there but it felt good knowing that someone thought I looked good. I struggle so much with this as an adult though.
 
JamesCanada1967 said:
how good I looked naked by my abuser
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Yes-similar. My mom's boyfriends liked to talk about my penis-when I was hard. My mother did too. She didn't always complement but mentioned it. She took credit for it- pointed out how her clit got hard. I didn't get it really at the time.

But I liked when people noticed and complemented anything. I guess I got that from her for sure now that I think about it.
 
My brother would say I was the one wanting it cause a slight wind and I was hard . And it was even if I was crying. How good I was at oral, yes because hopefully it stopped there. He also made comments on how I was really good when I was asleep. As I’ve mentioned I have narcolepsy.
The hairdresser said my brother told him I was good and liked any attention. So I know that was a set up. The one that grinds in my head is the scout leader telling me I had sucked dick before, he could tell and when I relaxed I was good. I had a narcoleptic event and was out. But each of these put doubts in my minds and that makes me wonder think it was me all along. I do think the things said by my brother did cause me to over time seek his attention and approval as the best. Sick I know. Peace
 
JamesCanada1967 said:
I was constantly told how good I looked naked by my abuser,
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That happened a number of times when I was 7 and 8 years old. One guy said he loved taking my clothes off because my body looked so beautiful when I was naked. "You are such a beautiful boy."
 
For public compliments/showing me off to others, he would point out my legs, face, butt, skin. This is the type of compliment I remember after my body had matured a bit.

Privately, there were not many compliments that I remember. A common one was that I "looked delicious". It makes me cringe as I write it.

I am pretty preoccupied with keeping a cute and youthful appearance today. It means a lot to be complimented and I do get more compliments on my appearance than I did as a child. I get the feeling of true gratitude and purpose.
 
Jack1 said:
That happened a number of times when I was 7 and 8 years old. One guy said he loved taking my clothes off because my body looked so beautiful when I was naked. "You are such a beautiful boy."
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The guy that raped me told me I had the perfect bum. The man who groomed me and abused me for nearly a year told me I had a beautiful bum and that it was made for it. The problem was, when I was growing up people used to compliment me on my bum including my mum and my aunts. When I was older girls used to say I had a cute butt. And guys used to compliment me as they were using my butt.

It became a sense of both pride and shame in equal measures.
 
MSUser2024 said:
My brother would say I was the one wanting it cause a slight wind and I was hard . And it was even if I was crying. How good I was at oral, yes because hopefully it stopped there. He also made comments on how I was really good when I was asleep. As I’ve mentioned I have narcolepsy.
The hairdresser said my brother told him I was good and liked any attention. So I know that was a set up. The one that grinds in my head is the scout leader telling me I had sucked dick before, he could tell and when I relaxed I was good. I had a narcoleptic event and was out. But each of these put doubts in my minds and that makes me wonder think it was me all along. I do think the things said by my brother did cause me to over time seek his attention and approval as the best. Sick I know. Peace
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That differently from another cousin of mine that he probably abused or tried to abuse, I was "a good boy"
 
TheNewMason said:
This gets a bit skewed because I got mixed messages from my abuser. One the one hand, he would tell me I'm beautiful. And then on the other, he would stand me in front of the mirror and point out all my flaws, or things I needed to work on to maintain this "perfection."

The part he focused on the most was the "boy Y." I don't even know what muscles they are. Obliques? leg muscles? Groin muscles? they are the ones that cut down on your lower abdomen and point to your dick essentially. That always had to be chiseled and defined.
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Mason your post hit me weird. There were a few , I think three times my brother had a big stash of makeup, mostly Avon samples if I remember correctly. He would make me all up and draw flowers with lipstick on my boby and stuff and take pictures with a Polaroid. And sometimes like I was dead with my eyes all painted black. He would tell me I could be an artist like him . He brought home an art book, I don’t know if from the library or he stole it but it had pictures and paintings of naked kids in a field. He would lay on me showing me the line that pointed down and say fat gross people don’t have those . I felt special and that he cared about me . I never saw the pictures again. When my mother remarried all our stuff just stayed in that house. And after he was sent away the house was rented out and I searched through that whole upstairs in the crawl spaces and everything and couldn’t find them . A girls family in the class below me was living there. I was really nice and kept asking if she found any of my brothers stuff sense she was living in our old room. I’m starting to see different reasons I’ve blocked stuff. Peace
 
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hurtman said:
I keep coming back to this thread. It makes my stomach hurt and I want to cry.
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Understandable. One thing good thing about the thread is we get to air out what happened to us and that is always a good thing.
 
My eyes. He was an eye doctor.
 
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