Well this is about me, my story, I guess. Possible *triggers*

Well this is about me, my story, I guess. Possible *triggers*
I had a talk with people from the police and youthcare today, or I should say, they talked to me and I ocassionally nodded or shrugged.
Police said he's still in prison, but they can only keep him there if they have enough prove and they need my help. Well, I haven't really said anything yet but I did say yes when they asked if he did it. That's all.
Youthcare people said they would figure something out for me, like some grouphouse or temporary fosterfamilies till I'm 18 or something like that.
I don't know what to think of this all.
Painkillers make sure I can't think very clearly nor remember everything they said.
I remember I have tests from school next week, but if I'm like this I won't be able to take them.
I just.. I wished he'd waited a year before he lost his mind or something.
I don't really like what's going to come with fostercare and everything.
I just am so confused and.. somewhat down I guess right now.
Wish I knew what's going to happen now.

Stefan
 
Stefan

Hang in there friend. I hope (perhaps that is the wrong word to use) Things will come right in the end for you. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Please, if you can, stay focused on your tests.

friend.

Duncan
 
Stefan, this is massive right now and nobody would expect you to know which way to go.
You told the cops he did it, which is enough to keep him locked up for a while.
Go for the best option from the youth workers, it wont be for very long.
Dont know about school, but under the circumstances, maybe they can let you sit them another time.

Wish I could give you better advice but I dont live in yr country, so I dont know what to really say.
In my country you could get him banned from any contact with you,

ste
 
Well, they said I need to lye down at least two weeks because of the ribs and the bleeding, but if there's a place for me, somewhere, I can get out of the hospital next wednesday or thursday probably.
I shouldnt even be online because of the concussion, but I don't care, I need to talk to people once in a while even if its just trough msn or this site. Thankfully my friends brought my laptop, clothes etc thursday.
So no school for a bit. But I guess they would let me do the tests another time.
About my father and where to live, monday the police and youthcare people come again, so I can ask questions then, I guess.
Thankfully painkillers block out most of the pain, but they also make me tired and not very clear. I spend the time between internet and sleep, but mostly sleep.

Stefan
 
stefan so sorry...i hadnt read post recently...i didnt realize that your situtation had gotten so bad....boy would i like to come over there and kick his ass....anyways...i hope you get through this quickley...and you can find some people to help you along...it makes me so mad when i hear about this kind of stuff....please be kind to your self...stefan....and i am glad you have some friends to help you......steve
 
I'm sorry that you have a shitty excuse for a father. Please know that you're better than him, and that you will never be like him! He doesn't deserve to have a son.
 
Stefan,

I pray that the docs are doing everything they can to heal you and keep you comfortable till then

you in no way deserved what your father did to you - he is a very sick man - and he deserves to be locked up for a long time where he cannot hurt you again

I know this is a very scarey time for you - to be in so much hurt and confussion of what the future will bring - please know that there are lots of people here who really do care - you can talk things out with us - you do not have to go through this alone - we are here for you...

Take good care of yourself,

TJ jeff
 
I have thought of this a bit and talked about it in chatroom yesterday, but I haven't figured it out yet.
Like someone suggested, this is your best change ever to also tell the police of the csa.
They belong in jail where they can't hurt kids anymore.
Of course i agree with that. And those points crossed my mind too. But how to do this? I mean just agreeing that they belong in jail is something totally different then also doing it.
There are so many, not just my dad, also his friends and the people from the fosterfamily (when i was 14)...
I'm just scared to death of it. Of them also.
They've threathened me enough times 'if you tell then...'..
I have barely talked of the physicall abuse let alone this.
Answering questions from police about what my father did is so hard already. I don't know how to go trough whit telling about the csa as well.
It's just all so d*mn hard.

Stefan
 
I have just read your latest posts, I'm really sorry this happened Stefan.
I do hope you will move to a better place now though.
At home obviously isnt a good place.
I remember how much it hurted when I broke/bruised my ribs last year, ouch!
I hope the healing part will be quick and not to painfull, don't be to hard on yourself. You do need those 2 weeks of lying down, trust me.
About wheter to tell the cops about the csa... That's a hard one. I can't tell you anything you don't already know.
If you decide to try though, maybe writing a letter about it, or printing this topic, might be a good idea.
Keep us uptodate if you can okey?
Fosterfamily traject isnt fun, just remember, in a small year you'll be on your own though.

Greets,

Alexander
 
Stefan, they cannot just keep getting away with abusing kids.
If you can find the strength, you need to tell on all of them.
I know nothing is easy right now, but maybe you could get a counsellor to help you with it.

Most of us will tell you that abusers threats are little more than something to keep you scared of them, and a good spell in prison will make them pay and be 'outed'.

Its them who should carry the shame and guilt, and not you!
Its up to you though, but you would save so many from further abuse.
Whichever way this goes, do not blame yourself now nor in the future,

ste
 
Stefan - you mention that your friends are around and supporting you. Are any of their families willing to take you into their homes. It would be so much better to be somewhere that you feel safe when you leave hospital. Not everyone is like your father - show your friends what you have posted here if you think they will understand. If you cannot trust them all with this information, is there one friend that you trust more than others. Sometimes we have to take risks, can any of them betray you as much as that person with whom you have a biological connection?

I wish you well! Best wishes ...Rik
 
I'm still in the phase of trying to figure out how to tell the cops about.
A little over a week I wasn't even ready to tell anyone about the physicall abuse, until i didnt have a choice anymore.
Let alone talk about this to friends.
I don't know if I can live with a friend. Maybe. I don't really want to be a burden on anyone either, esp on a friend's family.
So I'm not sure yet what's gonna happen on the living part.

Stefan
 
Stefan,

I am sorry about your situation, and that you remain in it. I can relate to a father such as that. There is not so much we can do, but to try to survive it. I am also sorry that in the place you went where you should have been safe, it also occurred. I hope that at some point soon, something can happen and be done, to protect you further, and improve your life. Welcome to here.

Leosha
 
Stephan,

I've been thinking about you a lot. No person, let alone a young person, should ever have to be in a place where they are faced with the things you with which you find yourself faced. My heart goes out to you.

It's easy for us to tell you that you should do this or that. I know it's far harder when you're the one facing the decisions you'll need to be making. Many of us have faced this same demon in one form or another, and some of us are still there. Please know that you have our unqualified support as you work through this.

Lots of love,

John
 
I'm going to go to a temporary foster family this thursday. It's in the same town as where I lived whit my father so I can keep going to the same school and everything.
I'm going to have my own room thank god.
I'm quite nervous about it though.
They seemed okey, met em for a little bit today they came to visit. I know I dont have to worry but its still..
Feels different.

Stefan
 
Stefan,

You'll be in my thoughts. I'm wishing and hoping good things for you in your new situation. I just wish there were some way I could make it all go away for you so that you no longer had to worry about these things.

You're a strong person, and you'll make it through so continue to believe in yourself!

Lots of love,

John

PS - You're right. It is the best avatar ever! :D
 
Stefan,

I am pleased to hear that things have started to move in a positive direction for you. Keep your spirits(not the drink, hehehe) up.

take care.

Duncan
 
So this is my second day here...

They seem nice and everything, so that's good.
Thankfully I have my own room (and interconnection hehe).

I keep mostly to myself, in my own room, but they seem to understand it.
Also because of the ribs I cant move around much anyway, so I prefer to stay in my own room, rather then on the bank downstairs.

It's still unfamilliar and something I have to get used to of course, this place, these people.
There are two other children, their own child a 20 year old girl who lives in a studenthouse, and another boy of 10 years old who is here until he gets a permanent place.
I haven't seen the girl yet but they said she would probably come home next weekend.

But then again it isnt really important to try and trust them, or get used to this place as I will be going to another temporary fosterfamily in a month or maybe two months anyway.

Stefan
 
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