wel.. this is my story I guess
wel.. this is my story I guess
- Thread starterAlexander
- Start date
Alexander
Registrant
Roadrunner,
I can't really explain, it's just that feeling you have about certain people. I just inmedeatly felt that I didn't like them.
While with all the other people I didn't have such a strong opinion.
I don't think I can explain this properly.
Dale, I agree, even writing some stuf down here, or talking in the chat helps, some.
Alexander
I can't really explain, it's just that feeling you have about certain people. I just inmedeatly felt that I didn't like them.
While with all the other people I didn't have such a strong opinion.
I don't think I can explain this properly.
Dale, I agree, even writing some stuf down here, or talking in the chat helps, some.
Alexander
roadrunner
Registrant
Alexander,
I ask because having been let down by your own parents, it would be natural for you to distrust new parental figures, or feel VERY wary about them.
There isn't any "proper" way to explain things, by the way.
Just say it how you feel it and that's fine. The important thing is not to sit alone and in silence.
Much love,
Larry
I ask because having been let down by your own parents, it would be natural for you to distrust new parental figures, or feel VERY wary about them.
There isn't any "proper" way to explain things, by the way.
Just say it how you feel it and that's fine. The important thing is not to sit alone and in silence.Much love,
Larry
Kirk Wayne
Registrant
Hi Alexander.
Sorry that you had to find us but you now know you are not on your own and yes someof us have parents that refuse to belive that we had been abused ...... my father did not belive me when I told him thirty years after the abuse. He was more concerned with the wrongly held fact that I may have introduced other teenage boys to my original abuser .... and did that hurt so much so that I have nothing whatsoever to do with him now. That relationship is now stone cold dead by my hands and I have no regrets at all.
Regards
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
Sorry that you had to find us but you now know you are not on your own and yes someof us have parents that refuse to belive that we had been abused ...... my father did not belive me when I told him thirty years after the abuse. He was more concerned with the wrongly held fact that I may have introduced other teenage boys to my original abuser .... and did that hurt so much so that I have nothing whatsoever to do with him now. That relationship is now stone cold dead by my hands and I have no regrets at all.
Regards
Kirk
"Lets grab this bull by the horns and swing it about a bit"
reality2k4
Registrant
Alex,
I am glad you have new fosters, and it will be hard to get to know them, but at least you get on with the other kids.
They will know that you will need time to adjust, but you need to try and dump some of the worst baggage, and try to work on the good things.
Find things that you like doing to take your mind away from the awful past memories, but at least you are safe now,
ste
I am glad you have new fosters, and it will be hard to get to know them, but at least you get on with the other kids.
They will know that you will need time to adjust, but you need to try and dump some of the worst baggage, and try to work on the good things.
Find things that you like doing to take your mind away from the awful past memories, but at least you are safe now,
ste
hi alex ,i been kinda busy and i missed this post,i spent 5 years in foster care ,so if i say i know how you feel i really do ,its not something that you can explain to those that havnt been there i know that for sure. i really hope things in foster have changed its been over 3 years since i got out of it . god i hated keeping what little stuff i had in a freaking trash bag ,got tired of unpacking and packing that bag so i just left my stuff in it ,ready for the next move. i have to admit that maybe i got moved so much cause i just wouldnt try to fit in with the foster families ,but why you know? i'll just be moved somewhere else anyway. for me it didnt matter if the family was nice or not ,it wasnt my family ,i didnt belong ,i was there because these people wanted to help or wanted the check from the state,never knew which . also i had problems going to school and living with the bio kids ,thats what we called the kids whose parents took us in .when it comes to fosters trust your instinct dude if you dont like them there is probably a good reason .do they still pull up outside in their damn black state cars when its time to move again,i hated those cars ,hated that ride to the next place where just like that your supposed to fit in and be happy yeah till you have to move and do it all over again. if i can help myou feel free to pm me anytime adam
Alexander
Registrant
Hi Adam,
Thanks for your reply.
I understand what you mean with 'why try to fit in? I'll be moved again anyway.'
Rather keep that wall up and keep a distance... It's not worth it.
But, there's at least one big difference between you and me, and that's that I'm from The Netherlands. The system is therefore probably very different.
The way it is here is that they put you in 'crisis foster families' until there's a permanent spot somewhere for you.
The sad thing is, I read a few days ago, that there are just not enough permanent places for all of us. Some kids are even placed in juvenile detention centres, as if they are little criminals and they undergo the same treatment as the reall delinquents. That's just sad. I guess I'm lucky compared to them!
In these crisis foster families you stay for about 5,6 weeks and then you're moved to a new one again. Until there's a permanent place, somewhere. Could be either a fosterfamily or a livinggroup.
They've told me a month! Then there's definitely a place. But that would mean that by now there'd be a permanent place... Not gonna happen.
I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.
I don't have a lot of stuf to carry around. Some clothes, schoolstuf, my laptop. And my skeelers.
It's just so weird these families. I was used to being alone all day unless 'he' was there.. I'd spent my day alone, would cook for myself, clean the house myself etc. Now there are always people in the house. And I don't have to do everything myself anymore. It's just the complete opposite from what I was used to you know? So, I hide in my room as much as I can.
It overwhelms me, sometimes.
Alexander
Thanks for your reply.
I understand what you mean with 'why try to fit in? I'll be moved again anyway.'
Rather keep that wall up and keep a distance... It's not worth it.
But, there's at least one big difference between you and me, and that's that I'm from The Netherlands. The system is therefore probably very different.
The way it is here is that they put you in 'crisis foster families' until there's a permanent spot somewhere for you.
The sad thing is, I read a few days ago, that there are just not enough permanent places for all of us. Some kids are even placed in juvenile detention centres, as if they are little criminals and they undergo the same treatment as the reall delinquents. That's just sad. I guess I'm lucky compared to them!
In these crisis foster families you stay for about 5,6 weeks and then you're moved to a new one again. Until there's a permanent place, somewhere. Could be either a fosterfamily or a livinggroup.
They've told me a month! Then there's definitely a place. But that would mean that by now there'd be a permanent place... Not gonna happen.
I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.
I don't have a lot of stuf to carry around. Some clothes, schoolstuf, my laptop. And my skeelers.
It's just so weird these families. I was used to being alone all day unless 'he' was there.. I'd spent my day alone, would cook for myself, clean the house myself etc. Now there are always people in the house. And I don't have to do everything myself anymore. It's just the complete opposite from what I was used to you know? So, I hide in my room as much as I can.
It overwhelms me, sometimes.
Alexander
reality2k4
Registrant
Alex,
hopefully you will find a place in a real good family who care.
I would love to give a caring home life to any kid who has been hurt.
I suppose I have the skill of knowing my own hurt, and how to listen if needed.
When I have been to the Netherlands, I found the people so friendly, so surely they could get more fosters.
Its not that easy to find fosters who will look after a kid with extra needs, but please do not isolate yourself in the family too much, but I know you need your own space.
I will be wishing that you find your ideal home before Christmas, and sure wish that no kid has to go through it, but it will come,
ste
hopefully you will find a place in a real good family who care.
I would love to give a caring home life to any kid who has been hurt.
I suppose I have the skill of knowing my own hurt, and how to listen if needed.
When I have been to the Netherlands, I found the people so friendly, so surely they could get more fosters.
Its not that easy to find fosters who will look after a kid with extra needs, but please do not isolate yourself in the family too much, but I know you need your own space.
I will be wishing that you find your ideal home before Christmas, and sure wish that no kid has to go through it, but it will come,
ste
roadrunner
Registrant
Alexander,
I know the situation in the Netherlands must be different from how it is in the UK or the States. But you have a case worker, right?
Things like you say in your post are exactly what the case worker needs to hear. If you hide in your room I can understand that, but is that something you can talk about? Whether adults can change your situation is one thing, but helping you to understand and be less afraid is another.
It's okay to be afraid, by the way. Everything has been turned upside down for you, and you have a lot that you have a right to be anxious about. The case worker really will understand how you feel and you should talk about that if you can.
Much love,
Larry
I know the situation in the Netherlands must be different from how it is in the UK or the States. But you have a case worker, right?
Things like you say in your post are exactly what the case worker needs to hear. If you hide in your room I can understand that, but is that something you can talk about? Whether adults can change your situation is one thing, but helping you to understand and be less afraid is another.
It's okay to be afraid, by the way. Everything has been turned upside down for you, and you have a lot that you have a right to be anxious about. The case worker really will understand how you feel and you should talk about that if you can.
Much love,
Larry
Alexander
Registrant
Just heard today my grandmother of my mom's side died last night.. So there's gonna be a funeral next week.
Don't wanna go though cause,one, i didn't really know her all that well anyway seen her maybe a few times.
And 2, the big reason, my parents will be there.
And the rest of the family and I don't know how much they know about what happened so I don't either how they would react to me.
So I guess I'm not going... Would be to big a confrontation to see my parents.
Can't help but still feel hurt though that they like, threw me out with the garbage after I told school.. Even though i know they were this way and didn't care about me since years already. How stupid is that?
Alexander.
Don't wanna go though cause,one, i didn't really know her all that well anyway seen her maybe a few times.
And 2, the big reason, my parents will be there.
And the rest of the family and I don't know how much they know about what happened so I don't either how they would react to me.
So I guess I'm not going... Would be to big a confrontation to see my parents.
Can't help but still feel hurt though that they like, threw me out with the garbage after I told school.. Even though i know they were this way and didn't care about me since years already. How stupid is that?
Alexander.
Alexander,
It's not stupid to want your parents to care. It's something that comes in every kid ever born, sorta like it's prepackaged inside each of us. That feeling is still in there even if we know that they don't.
The problem is trying to make it through the rough time without letting the hurt and the anger destroy our lives.
Keep talking about it with us. Telling people who'll listen and care how you feel is a huge part of keeping your sanity while the shit hits the fan. If there's one thing I've found here, the guys here care. We might not be able to physically do anything for you, but we can listen and let you know we care.
Lots of love,
John
It's not stupid to want your parents to care. It's something that comes in every kid ever born, sorta like it's prepackaged inside each of us. That feeling is still in there even if we know that they don't.
The problem is trying to make it through the rough time without letting the hurt and the anger destroy our lives.
Keep talking about it with us. Telling people who'll listen and care how you feel is a huge part of keeping your sanity while the shit hits the fan. If there's one thing I've found here, the guys here care. We might not be able to physically do anything for you, but we can listen and let you know we care.
Lots of love,
John
michael Joseph
Registrant
Alex you are one of us now, and I am extreamly glad you found this site. It is never easy, but friends make it easier.
Mike
Mike
Alexander
Registrant
I've got an appointment with a doctor this week tuesday btw, so that he/she can maybe prescribe me some sleepmedication. Because sleeping not at all or just a few hourse all the time isn't working... I guess that's maybe why i get sick all the time.
And maybe there will be some sleep medication that would also help with the nightmares. That would be really great.
Alexander.
And maybe there will be some sleep medication that would also help with the nightmares. That would be really great.
Alexander.
alex not sleeping at all or just a little ,been there ,the nightmares too ,the doc gave me soma for sleep and it worked for a while . but the dreams came back ,. i used meth to stay awake and it created a whole list of other problems ,i was in the hospital for exhaustion.not sleeping can be dangerous . they say having a t can help .dude i know how bad it sucks to be afraid to sleep .i hope you can get some relief,there is a chance that my nightmares had a physical cause, i had surgery and im waiting to see if it helped , i got so weak that i started having seizures. get some meds that work if you can adam
Alexander
Registrant
I went to the doctor yesterday, to discuss this, but he wanted to make sure it wasn't anything physicall first or something.
So I'm getting bloodresults back next week and then he said he would consider sleeping medication maybe.
So I guess I'll wait until then.
I have told him I had nightmares too and he said he would look into that to see if there might be something that could help about that too.
The only good thing about being a little bit sick is that I usually sleep more then normally and that I get a break of school for a couple of days, so that's good.
How are you now Adam?
Alexander
So I'm getting bloodresults back next week and then he said he would consider sleeping medication maybe.
So I guess I'll wait until then.
I have told him I had nightmares too and he said he would look into that to see if there might be something that could help about that too.
The only good thing about being a little bit sick is that I usually sleep more then normally and that I get a break of school for a couple of days, so that's good.
How are you now Adam?
Alexander
Welcome Alexander.
Another heart-rending story from someone. I hope you are ok.
Andy
Another heart-rending story from someone. I hope you are ok.
Andy
Alexander
Registrant
wow.
A totally unexpected outcome.
This morning the doctor I told about, called and made us come to his office. So I thought, didn't he say those bloodresults would not come earlier then next week? O well.
He said there was something not right with the bloodresults.
And then he said we believe that it's cancer, leukemia to be exact.
...
There have been a few more tests today in the hospital.. To figure out what kind it is exactly and how to threat it. Chemotherapy for sure, possibly also radiation and probably also bone marrow transplantation.
I think I stopped listening shortly after then as I do not remember much more of what he said.
I can not believe this.
I CANNOT BELIEV THIS!!!!
A totally unexpected outcome.
This morning the doctor I told about, called and made us come to his office. So I thought, didn't he say those bloodresults would not come earlier then next week? O well.
He said there was something not right with the bloodresults.
And then he said we believe that it's cancer, leukemia to be exact.
...
There have been a few more tests today in the hospital.. To figure out what kind it is exactly and how to threat it. Chemotherapy for sure, possibly also radiation and probably also bone marrow transplantation.
I think I stopped listening shortly after then as I do not remember much more of what he said.
I can not believe this.
I CANNOT BELIEV THIS!!!!