Weekends of Recovery sharing

[UniversalBeing]

Hi,

I've heard a lot of good things about Weekends of Recovery and I am interested in going. I actually applied for a scholarship.

I am interested to know how much of your story you need to share when there? Are you required to tell it all or can you share what you feel comfortable?

What if you panic while there? Are there people to help you?

Thank You,
UB

 

[Dust]

Hi UB. When I was at a WoR in 2009, the first small group (6 or 7 people plus 2 therapists) we had was devoted to telling our stories. I think that was a big part of the healing process for people. You can share what you are comfortable sharing. There was always an opportunity to speak with a therapist if you needed some extra time or if an issue came up for anyone. They had a seperate room for that purpose so there would always be privacy available. I found it to be a very safe and accepting place, although at first there were some fears that cropped up for me. I don't think that is unusual. I think most people experience doubts about whether or not they belong there or will be accepted by others. But everyone was in the same boat on that feeling and once people shared that feeling it made me and others feel more comfortable. It goes back to the feeling of being different that seems to follow us around no matter where we go. But remember if you go, we all have that feeling and fear of not fitting in in common. It's something good to bring up in group if you feel that way because it will help you to stay there and feel more comfortable. For me, I definitely felt like I did not belong when I first got there and for awhile afterward. I kinda felt like wanting to leave at times. I don't think that is unusual either. I wish I would have talked about that feeling in small group.

 

[Greg56]

In my experience, Casmir summed it up perfectly. I felt the same way...wanting to leave the first time. But stuck it out, and it worked out great for me.

One of the biggest realizations that I had was that here were people from the US, Canada, Belgium and Scotland. These were real people, with real faces and stories much like my own. Now I knew that it wasn't just me and my own little corner of the world that had been affected. That's why I went a second time...so much help.

I encourage anyone who has the chance to go...do it.

much love
Greg

 

[Banjo596]

Attending WOR was a turning point in my life! Your feeling of safety is a priority there, you couldn't ask to be in better professional company.

 

[traveler]

UB -

i benefited greatly from the WoR i attended. it was a life-changing event for me. for the first time i was able to tell my story in a group of supportive, understanding, empathetic fellow-survivors. i was guaranteed of their compassionate acceptance because we were all equal. we had all been through the same kind of trauma. it was very liberating.

i am sure that you can share as much or as little of your experience as you want to - but i would also suggest that if you are extremely reluctant to do so, then you may not be ready to participate in this kind of intense, interactive exercise. you might be better served to wait until you are more comfortable with opening up.

and yes - there is always a trained and experienced counselor or therapist on hand to offer additional individual support to anyone who gets triggered or is feeling especially vulnerable.

just don't let your fear keep you from participating in what could very well be one of the most healing and inspiring weekends of your life.

Lee

 

[i-m-Bri]

Have they posted when the next on is?

 

[UniversalBeing]

BDD, yes. There is a new web site here:
https://menhealing.org/Events

 

[bluesky]

Hi.
I attended 2 weekends one at Alta Utah and the other in Connecticut. They where both major steps and turning points in my journey of healing. I feel that the staff is amazing and really care for the men that attended.
Peace and healing.

 

[UniversalBeing]

Everything I've heard about WoR is very encouraging. I am stable. I do not have any addictions or self-harming behaviors and I have 2 therapists. One is CBT/DBT whom I see once in 3 weeks the other one is EMDR whom I see once in 2 weeks. Both of them are telling me you are doing really good.

The things I have not talked about sexual abuse much. I told the CBT/DBT therapist that there was potentially some sexually inappropriate behavior by my father. He helped me get angry towards my father but we did not go into details. I have not mentioned this to my EMDR T cause I know her only for few months and she is a pregnant soon to go on a maternity leave.

In other words, I have not discussed the sexually inappropriate behavior and I do not remember it in many details either.

I remember laying in bed with my father and him wanting me to kiss him even French kiss him and to tell him I love him or to prove him I love him. This was very unhealthy because he was a sociopath. I don't think normal fathers want their 5-year-olds to French kiss them and tell them they love them.

There are other scattered memories here and there but nothing that includes penetration and I do not know if that makes me eligible for the WoR.

I guess I am asking do I belong there? Was that sufficient to qualify me as a sexual abuse survivor? What if people laugh at me and think that it was very normal father-son behavior? Then again, it did not feel normal. To this day it still does not feel normal and I feel dirty because of that memory. My father was not normal. He was not capable of love. He was a sociopath.

I do have a lot of other clear memories of emotional, physical, verbal, and psychological abuse. For example, my father used me for money laundry when I was in 7th grade telling me the money he is giving me to put in my bank account are for a new computer. However, after a while, the money disappeared and it turned out he was taking money from the company trying to do something.

 

[Surya25]

Can someone explain where Weekends of Recovery are hosted and how to attend them?

 

[UniversalBeing]

Here is the new website dedicated to WoR:

https://menhealing.org/

You can apply there.

 

[i-m-Bri]

UniversalBeing,
I certainly don’t think what your Father did was funny in any way. Fresh kissing is a sensual display of affection. It is not appropriate between a father amd son. I am so sorry he violated you in such a demanding a heinous way.

 

[bluesky]

BDD, yes. There is a new web site here:
https://menhealing.org/Events

You can get all the info at the website above.

Good luck.

 

[Surya25]

Thanks UniversalBeing and bluesky! I'll check it out