wednesday

wednesday
T

Trevor

Registrant
hi everyone
my mom is in rehab so im living back w my
ssister again. it was a bad scene at my moms. she
came home all wasted w some guy and he was treating her bad so i went after him and we fought and he had a knife so my mom calld the
cops. it was a mess but at least shes ok now.
this medicine im on is making me feel more calm or more like a zombie i guess. i mean i still feel all this rage in my head but i just dont have any will to act on it. i guess thats how its sposed to work, so i dont hurt myself or anybody around me? im not sure. the doctr said to just give it some time and id get used to it. i told him to fuck off. he just laffed at me.
my big ugly stupid fat stepbrothr came over to visit with his sister. i came home and his bike was in the driveway so i freaked out at first, then i got real angry, so i kicked his bike over and left. he hasnt said anything directly to me but he told my ssister that i should watch my back. she told him she would call the cops if he went anywhere near me. meanwhile talk about denial. i told her what he done to me growing up and she was all worried and upset and concerned. she hasnt said nothing about it since then, acts like i never even brought it up. i dont know if i should mention it again or not.
im really really sad right now. i hate everything :(
 
Trevor,

I can understand why you're sad, and I can also understand the anger. In all honesty, you need to be somewhere safe. I don't know where that is, and I think your options are pretty limited from what you've told us.

Talk to us all you want if it will help you. We'll listen and offer advise if you want. So many of us have experienced the same things you have and are working to get things right with ourselves, so you are welcome with us.

Lots of love,

John
 
Trev,

Your feelings really can be summed up in what you say at the end: "I hate everything". I know how confusing it can all be.

But give your doctor a chance and give your meds a chance too. Some drugs take awhile to work into your system and have an effect. You may not notice much at all for quite a time. Your doctor might also have to change your meds. That doesn't mean he was stupid the first time - finding the right combination really does change from one person to another.

And try perhaps to give your sister some slack. She has never been trained in how to cope with all this stuff, so many times she won't get it right. Sometimes she may SEEM distant and unconcerned, when in fact she is just desperate because she has no idea how to help you. Do you think you could try trusting her a bit more and talking to her? That might help a lot.

Much love,
Larry
 
i dont wanna really talk to her or anybody about this. i dont know what to do.
it just hurts. i m tired of it
 
Trev,

We all get exhausted and fed up from time to time, and that feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do next, that's in the cards a lot as well.

This will sound trite, but sometimes the only thing to say is "fuck it" and tomorrow is another day.

So repeat after me please -f.... ;)

Much love,
Larry
 
There you go! :D And guess what? Now it's Thursday and you're still standing.

Much love,
Larry
 
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