We need you NOW!

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We need you NOW!

Hiya everybody,

This is a steep post & Im mad but I hope this will be okay. Awhile back me & Charlie got into this thing about writing a letter for 8th grade boys about abuse. I was in the hospital so were just finishing it now yeah? But Muldoon, hes the guy hes helping us & he will read it & stuff, he just got told theres no time for our letter at that school.

I felt funny about that yeah? But I couldnt think why do I feel so screwed up about this. But Im really stupid about a lotta stuff & then today I got it. Why? Cos I saw this post by Puppy – hes 19. When he was 11-12 hes sittin in school yeah? & here comes a teacher runnin this groove about abuse, & suddenly he gets it … none of his friends have “special time” with their Dads! Hes bein abused.

He wasnt stupid. This stuff isnt supposed to happen. Were supposed to be safe to begin with & not wonder is my room an okay place to sleep & think whats that smile mean. Sorry, but I was 8 – I wasn't supposed to know its bad if somebody touches me down there & how grownups can trick you & all the stuff that can happen. When I got hit on I was confused & scared. I was alone & I didnt know what 2 do so I just did what he said. After that he had me – more & more lies & I just believed him. We all know how it works. But it started cos I wasnt ready. I never heard of boys bein hurt & I dunno – I just froze & that was enough for him. Truth? I DIDN'T KNOW. I didnt know to watch out. I didnt know about bad touching. I didnt know lotsa times its somebody u know. I didnt know I wasnt alone. I didnt know its okay to scream get the fuck off me. What I knew was grownups run things & we respect them & do what they say. I DIDNT KNOW.

On our site it says lotsa boys get hurt. What? One of six, one out of four, one out of seven? Who gives a shit! Its kids all the time & everywhere. Me & my little brother Charlie now, my big brothers Jake & Jim & Soccerkid b4 that, & Ste & Thad & lots of u guys b4 that. How many boys r in a school class? 15, 20? & how many classes in a school? & how many boys r getting hurt right now? 3 in this class, 2 in that one, 5 in that one over there? How come we dont have time to give them the warnings & the support they need? The letter Charlie & me r doin – its 5 minutes. How can that be too much time?

If a grownup is drivin his car down the road & the bridge is torn out for repairs & theres no warning & the guy does 4 a swim in his car, u can bet hes not gonna accept it if PennDOT says oh sorry, we didnt have time to put up a sign or detour the traffic. So how come this isnt important enough? Does anybody think its easy for me & Charlie to say the stuff thats in our letter? How can it be not important enough?

I wonder sometimes –grownups, do they get it? I can tell u one kid here hes gettin hurt NOW, or I think he is – its so obvious. & another one hes 14 & hes still gettin patched up from stuff b4 Christmas, & me I was hurt again just a few weeks ago & thats why I was in the hospital but I was a runaway so okay. My point is we need you guys now. Dont stick us in yr book for whenever or say let me check the schedule. Our time is now.

Grownups here talk about their inner child. I like that idea. Its like, I dunno, I was talkin about this big and little thing with a really cool adult friend here, & I guess thats the same as the inner child. But guess what dog? Child? Here I am. Here we are. Lots of us. More than you think.

Please help us get our voice. Other kids will listen to us. Im not talkin about trustin a system here. System? Bite me. Im talkin about trustin hurt kids to know what bein a hurt kid is like.

How many others have been hurt in the time it took me to write this post?

Kev
 
Kev, somehow that project will happen.
Not just a school, but all schools, radio station and even tv free ads and any more avenues like cinemas etc etc.

Nobody knows the amount of boys who get hurt, why? Because most of them live in silence, and silence is the worst hurt any boy can live with.

Awareness will never stop SA, but if it saves someone, or lets them know that there are people and places that will listen and care, then it is worthwhile.

You and Charlie did a good job, and it cannot be wasted through anyone having no time to listen.
People like to bury their heads in sand, and the big problem with people, is that they DO NOT LISTEN, and even if they do, they soon forget.

I cant forget, and nor can any of us here, that is why it is so important to have a voice and be able to use it,

ste
 
Kev
your post tore me up, if someone says there's no time to make kids aware of the dangers of being abused then they're full of shit! There's no argument about that.

And if the message is being sent out by young men like yourself then it's hot and relevant, it will mean something to other kids because it coming from people just like them, not from adults who haven't always got the skills to relate to youngsters.

The other danger is that if we ( adults ) try to pass the message on then kids will tend to see it as something that happened to us, and not something that is happening 24/7 to their friends. The ones that are being abused know it happens, but they don't the way out. If the message comes from adults that abuse happens then they are also likely to think that there's nothing they can do NOW and that they will have wait until they are adults themselves before they can see an end to their abuse.

Keep fighting, someone will listen in the end.

Dave
 
I'm so glad you wrote this post. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it's not just kids that don't know. It's parents. So many parents are oblivious to the fact that, like you say, it's people we know, and it DOES HAPPEN to boys everywhere. I didn't know what was wrong with me until I was grown and married and found out my wife had been touched by her dad. This anger came out in me, and suddenly I realized that my entire life had been a lie. That everything I had lived was wrong, and it didn't matter that my parents acted like everything was perfect or that the kids at school acted like coach was funny. I realized my obsession with having somebody care about me wasn't normal.

If somebody had just told me. Even if it were after the SA, at least I wouldn't have had to live a lie for 20 years. I could have understood.

Fight, Kev. I'm behind you 200%. You are doing something so important. I admire you a lot. If we can just save one kid out of each class, it's still too many being hurt, but it's one kid who won't live the nightmare we know so well. 5 minutes. I wish he'd give you an hour.
 
Kev,

Achool administrators can get all stupid about legal issues, liability, all that mess, especially when a they're looking at a letter as powerful & loaded as the one you guys wrote.

But sometimes, they'll listen to another adult, somebody with professional standing, like some of the moderators of this board. How about asking one of the moderators if they'd write a letter on your behalf to the school ? Maybe that would persuade them to read your letter to the 8th graders.
 
I also read the incredible letter and was very moved by it. I would venture to say (being an educator) that someone thought it would have been a great idea and then the school board attorneys got into the scene and decided that there may be legal problems that they didn't want to get involved with. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... this country pays lip service to the rights of children, but when it comes down to the actual issues and events, they back down and would rather sweep it under the carpet.

Personally if it were me, I would take that letter and get it out to the media somehow. My first inclination is to write to Oprah Winfrey because IMHO, she's one individual who doesn't sensationalize her show (unlike those crappy shows like Jerry Springer). My gut tells me that she's one person who would listen.

Don't give up. It's just like I constantly tell students: If something is happening to you that you think is wrong, tell someone. If that person doesn't listen, tell someone else and keep going until someone DOES listen.

It's really sad, but there are certain issues in life that many people aren't willing to face. We take our mentally handicapped, our old people, or anyone else who is different and shove them away so we don't have to deal with them as human beings.

It takes a long time to change attitudes in society. Look at Martin Luther King... he started with a dream almost half a century ago. Do we still have prejudice in the world? Absolutely! There is something so true in that old saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day."

I hope that I've made sense... the bottom line is that none of us can give up. If one door is slammed in our faces, then we knock on another and another until someone finally opens it up. I, for one, would have been eternally grateful if someone had opened up the subject like that at school when I was a kid (when dinosaurs roamed the earth :D ). I may have had the courage to tell someone about what happened and not shoved it so far back in my memory that I didn't remember what happened until I was 30 years old.

Keep trying, guys. You will eventually succeed. It took Edison over 1,000 trials to find the right material for the light bulb. When asked how he felt about the 1,000 failed attempts, he responded (loosely paraphrased), "I didn't fail 1,000 times, I just found 1,000 materials that wouldn't work in the bulb."

Sophiesdad

edited to correct a spelling error
 
The other way of getting heard is to put your energy into an exisiting organisation that is working for young abuse victims, yes, there will be adults at the top of the tree, but these organisations are much more likely to listen to you.

I'm not that familiar with US organisations, but I'm sure someone here is.

Dave
 
Kevin
I know how it seem like grownups don't get the importance of this issue. I do beleive we are making a little head way but 5 min is so little to ask. I will try I more time to change the princples mind tomorrow ,

Kevin I do beleieve this message will be heard by 100 of thousands of guys in the next years. Thank you so much for you hard work.

Tom
 
Hi Kevin,

A really moving post, and I am really glad you have said all this. I do not mean this as an excuse in any way, but I can confirm from my own 25 years of experience that educational institutions tend to be conservative and a lot of times need to be convinced that something is a good idea. Then once you convince then they can really roll with it.

The point you are making is so important, and I thought I would share with you something that a student of mine just told me today. He was abused as a child and is now 20 but still living at home. His abuser, a relative, has moved in with them for a few weeks and the abuse has begun all over again. He feels like he doesnt have the strength to resist "because of the silence", which he explained as meaning the feeling that he is all alone, that no one knows or cares, and that he has nowhere he can turn to. The letter you and Charlie are writing may not be heard right at the time you thought, but I am sure it will help a lot of kids by breaking this kind of silence.

Keep it up!
Larry
 
ok, my opinion may not be accepted or seem harsh, but im a realist. so here it is.

reality: everyone knows kids are abused and no one talks about it.

reality: kids dont know what the hell is going on because they are kids.

reality: no one is going to listen to you unless you have the right people backing you.

so. my proposition to you. if you want to make a difference, talk to the right people. talk to CPS, talk to gay/lesbian youth centers, youth centers in general. get support from people who make it their duty to support and protect kids. have an objective. if you want to talk to kids in schools, have a letter, or firm points you want to make and things youd like to say. dont just phone some school and expect them to let a random person in to talk about possibly random things. if you are determined to do this, take the steps to do it right.

and my question to you is, why 8th grade boys? at 13, i had already been abused for 8 years. at 13 i was going thru puberty and EVERYTHING becomes embarassing and weird at that age. at 13, sometimes the message comes too late. younger kids need to know that their bodies are their own. younger kids need to know about bad touchng. i was told in 7h grade. it wa news to me, and far too late. parents dont tell their kdis this shit. and parents are often the abusers. kids need to know earlier than 8th grade. and they need to know what resources are available to them, who they can talk to, etc.

i think your efforts are awesome and its really really cool that you want to make a difference.
 
Tom - why don't you just print off this post & show it to the principle; maybe then he will get it. Does he want hundreds more of the kids in his school coming here over the years because they were not aware of the dangers from predators out there?

Sometimes I wish the victims were the kids of these idiots, then they might just do something to stop it. I wouldn't however wish being a victim on anybody!

They either want to help or they don't!

Rik.
 
Thanks 4 all the posts on this & first thing I want 2 say is i hope ppl dont think im like just jumpin up & down & ranting & runnin around like a poisoned rat & blaming grownups cos their grownups & whatever. Its just that when I sit down 2 write I want to be honest & say what I think & just let it fly. I think it IS diffrent when yr a kid, & I want ppl to know how I think & feel. One grownup here says I should claim my voice & I guess thats a cool way of sayin it.

Anyway our letter. I have it now & Charlie & me will get it finished soon. I still hope that school will use it, cos its just a short thing. Maybe Tom can show them this thread, & maybe show them the post where Josh (puppy) talks about hearing in school that "special time" with yr dad isnt okay. But i get the idea that even if one school cant use it now it will still be around & can be used lots of times.

It was cool the way Josh said that 8th grade is too late cos he was bein abused long time b4 that. Yeah guess it should be earlier then. But Tom has this set up with an 8th-grade thing, & it made sense for me & Charlie to write something cos thats nearly his age & im 16 & immature :) . So thats how it worked out like this. I would have no idea how 2 talk to like 2nd grade kids, maybe it would be the same. Cos little kids thing teenagers r totally cool. My littest brother is 8 & he like worships me :D .

Kev
 
Its good someone says they disagree, cos if its all yeah yeah yeah 100% support then u begin to wonder is this cos yr a kid & everybody wants 2 be nice. Anyway I want to say something about yr post Socs:

I really find it great that someone so young wants to help, but unfortunately any words that come out of a kids mouth (unless there are extremely special circumstances which usually involve the media) most people don't listen and chalk up everything they say (no matter how true it is) as being wrong and a product of their immaturity.
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But Josh didnt say Charlie & me were gonna fail he said get organized & think how yr doin it. Were not writing a letter & just wavin it in the air, we were asked to do it & we know it needs to get organized & we cant do that. All were doin is helpin Tom cos he asked us. If a T or somebody says something in our letter is wrong or not a good idea 4 kids, thats ok. Tom changes it & thats cool.

Maybe your a media person Socs so yr speaking from a business way of thinking. Like if somebody takes the trouble to write a letter he has to be thinkin of a big audience otherwise it wasnt worth it. I think were doin our letter for lots of reasons but mainly cos its right to do it. If we help one kid thats okay. We wont ever know i guess, but chances are we will. Anyway my Granddad says "Cant never did anything".

I dont understand why its unusual for a recently abused teenager 2 want to do something to stop this stuff? I guess theres statistics & books & magazines about this. If a month ago is recent then yeah, heres unusual me. But I have three reasons down the hall, one is 8 another is 12 & another is 14. & how about loyalty? How about fighting the feeling u are helpless & drifting & empty & irrelevant? How about a lot becomes possible when u have support & know yr not alone? How about remembering what if I had just said no & now i have the voice I didnt have then? How about maybe this will make me brave enough to help my best friend whose dad is the guy who hurt me? How about shouting out my abuser doesnt get to win this time? Stuff like that.

The "individual" Im working with isnt just "my friend", Socs. His name is Charlie. Were right here. You can talk to us - I promise we got all our shots. :)

Kev
 
I want to thank Kevin and Charlie for all the hard work they have put into writing your letter.
I am realy sorry that we have been unable to move the school to give us the 5 minutes we need.

A little explation is in order. I had the suport of one person who had influenes or the school. He was doing a talk on hazziing and was willing to give us half his time before the 8th grade guys who where graduating from middle school,

So that is why the 8th grade was the target age. Sure i agree that this message has to be given to others also. We where just triyng to take an opertunity and make something of it,

Sam was told he only has 6 minutes to talk about Hazzings and that cut us out of the program. I called the princple 2 times last week and talked to her about the issues and about given us our time. She wants to address this issue in the fall during the new school year. She says that she has no time this year.

Charlie and Kevin I am sorry I put you through all this and we have come up MT at this time. I was sure that Sam would move them in our direction.

Somrtimes I think that I can force them to do the right thing. At least I tried . Tom
 
Hiya Socs,

I dont want to get into a long thing again about whether things r the same for an adult and a kid & we all share the same pain & we all know exactly what its like to be a hurt kid. I remember in 8th grade our English teacher gave us pictures & we had to write a poem about the picture. A friend of mine did her poem about a kid with a teddy bear in the forest cos she has a teddy & thats what I saw too, but the teacher said she was expecting a poem contrasting old and young, grandeur of nature, stuff like that, cos the forest was that place in California with the redwood trees. Thats both from the same picture, lookin at the same thing.

I was hurt when I was 8 & it didnt stop til I was 12, then in April I got hurt again. The last time I cant talk about yet.

I feel like all of a sudden were bein cornered & stared at & judged just cos of our age & Im wonderin how did that happen? I know thats not it, but thats how it feels.

Kev
 
All these posts are a little taxing for me to read, because of reading problems I have, have been abale to pick-up a thought here and there.

Just wanted to say "We are ALL hurting" inside
 
Kevin, Charlie, Soccer Kid,

This last series of posts on this thread has been very valuable, I think, and I would like to say why here. I will try not to get up at my podium, but here goes. I apologize in advance for the ridiculous length of this post.

1. Communication isnt just information passing back and forth. It is also about perception. Kevin, that photo in your eighth-grade English class is one thing: an image on paper, something real. But how is it perceived, what does it mean? Exactly as you noted, your friend sees a child with a teddy bear. Why? Because she is a child who has her own teddy and that is important to her. The rest is just big trees. The teacher, however, sees the last of the great western redwood forests and a child in the midst of a spectacular natural experience that students in the English class will now appreciate and write about. The reality is the same, but the perceptions are different. Both are "true". Both are important.

Whats the point? I think this entire dialogue over the ways in which the teenagers and the adults on this site see the reality of child abuse needs to be looked at in this way. It is important that teens appreciate the fact that adults have been around awhile and that life experience can provide them with valuable insights and solutions. But at the same time, adults need to appreciate that their understanding of the world has evolved over a long period of time: it didnt just spring into their heads at some point. Younger people are still on the path of sorting out what things will mean for them as adults, and the legitimacy of their journey, with all its pitfalls and fears, needs to be acknowledged and validated. Its real, its important, and its different.

So yes, pain is pain, but no, what pain means to a child is not and can never be what it means to an adult. To propose that the catastrophic pain of childhood abuse is the same for the abused child as it is for an adult survivor is true only at a very abstract (and so far as I can see, not practically useful) level. This is not to argue for the greater validity of how it feels to the child over the adult abused long ago. Of course we know how it felt. Of course we recall the fear, and of course many of those emotions are still with us. Over the years we have paid a heavy price. As Healing_Inside puts it: "We are all hurting inside". No doubt about it. But what the hurt means for a child now, and what it means for the adult survivor now, is different. This is why the idea of the "inner child" is so important for adults. It enables us to appreciate that part of us still feels the hurt and fear as we did when we were little; that part of us conflicts with the part that over the years has tried to cope (by explanation, justification, avoidance, denial, forgetting). But Charlie, does the "inner child" mean anything at all to you? My guess is absolutely not. You are 14. There is no little Charlie and an older and more mature Charlie. There is just hurt Charlie. It seems to me that adults who want to help must accept and understand this difference. I wonder if talking to a hurt child about the "inner child" may even be harmful; the child looks for his "inner child" and finds nothing there, and so feels even more empty (a word both Charlie and Kevin use) and unimportant.

2. Another thing, and sticking with Charlie: As soon as I open my mouth to say something to you, I am also asserting my right to say it and giving you a signal that you should act accordingly. "Charlie have you done your homework?" If I say that, I am at the same time claiming the right to hassle you about your studies, and if you havent done your homework, you already know I expect you to go do it. I am asserting something (my right to make this my business) and at the same time I am waiting for you to confirm me by giving me some satisfactory answer. This pattern of assertion/confirmation is part of everything we say. I am doing it now. I am claiming a right to be heard and believed, and I am anticipating a certain response. Well, okay, I might not get it ;) , but that is part of the dialogue.

So again, whats the point? Here I speak to the group as a whole. Kevin and Charlie have been hurt in what is probably the most devastating way a child can be harmed. Through whatever combination of circumstances they have landed here in a place where they are supported, empowered and validated. This is what makes them unusual. They are in an environment where they can call upon their reserves of courage to demand a voice and act to cope with what has happened to them. As young teenagers they are thinking about the here and now and in terms of what is fair and just. This is part of their healing process. They are asserting their right to a voice and they trust the rest of us to confirm it: not to tell them yes, yes, yes, as Kevin astutely notes, but to help them in a positive and constructive way. But of course the adults will respond as adults and can do nothing else. Kevin writes:

I feel like all of a sudden were bein cornered & stared at & judged just cos of our age & Im wonderin how did that happen?
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By that he means that he feels uneasy with the recent responses to his thread. They seem dismissive, disempowering and judgmental. That is of course not how they are intended, but that is how they look to a teenager. Again, things are different. There is a thin line between candor and patronization, and perhaps more so where everyone in the discussion has been deeply hurt. Here I turn to Soccer Kid and ask you to bear with me a moment. I see from your profile that you are 24. If I were to begin to comment on that as a measure of what you have to say, I think you would feel uneasy about it. As teenagers in an environment dominated by adults, Kevin and Charlie feel it more deeply and personally when their age gets brought into the picture and hovers over the discussion; its like playing poker when you know the other guy was handed all the aces before the cards were dealt.

It is a painful business watching these guys try to rebuild their lives from the wreckage they have been handed. It isnt fair, as Charlie put it somewhere. And doing this kind of work is more complicated than any of us think. Guys, as you two go about your rebuilding we know you need support and guidance. All you have to do is ask. But that means that if you pick up a cracked brick or lay it in the wall in a way we know wont hold, we have to tell you, right? You dont expect less from us. On the other hand, adults need to recognize that when teenagers refer to us it is an act of great courage and faith that is easily threatened by feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy. Of course this applies to all of us regardless of age. But on this sort of issue I think, again, there is a very real difference between youth and adulthood.

3. I want to offer a few thoughts on why your letter is so important guys. As I said above, it is part of your healing process, and you are using it as a concrete way to figure out and express your own emotions and reactions. The fact that you are working with a feeling of responsibility for others of your own age is a huge factor; it is helping you to develop a real and viable sense of perspective. Not one that just vents your frustration and anger, but one that can actually help others.

But there is more. A child does not have a choice unless he knows he has a choice, and choices are all about knowledge and awareness. In my own case I was taken entirely by surprise by my abuser. I was numb with fear and horror and I went into a kind of emotional paralysis. I had never heard of anything like this and I had no idea what was happening until it was too late. It genuinely did not occur to me to say no; I was the easiest mark in the world. By writing your letter, guys, you make an enormous contribution to empowering other boys of your age. I have not seen your letter yet, but I have heard it is very powerful. I can just imagine! Never mind that there is a need for such a thing at a younger age. By providing other boys with your personal insights you make them think about dangers that are real and immediate. Many of them will never have to face these perils, but in too many cases that fateful moment will arise and the question will be: Does this boy have a choice? Has he had a chance in the split-second of opportunity to think about what is happening? Does he know that the scary touching is absolutely wrong and he is being tricked and lied to? Does he recognize this as the game of a weak sick coward? As one of you said, you will never know how this works out in any particular case in the future. But abuse is unfortunately such a problem that it seems absurd (to me anyway) to imagine that unless there is major media attention your effort will have been in vain. There will be boys who will remember what they heard and call up their last reserves of courage and say no. There will be boys who have been hurt and now know that they can tell someone and get help. There will be abusers who go to jail. (What a delicious thought. Criminals in jail just love to see perps brought in. :D )

That you two boys are doing this is absolutely crucial. Many of the adults here will remember the ridiculous talks we got in school about alcohol. In my school we all looked forward to these talks. Why? Not because the speakers had anything to say to us. We knew it was all going to be grownup bullshit and we were switched off and joking even as we were herded through the door. BUT. Eventually the speaker would get out the jar of grain alcohol and drop the worm into it and invite us to watch the worm go nuts. We all thought that was so cool. The speaker was blathering on and on, but all of us evil boys were gloating over that worm. That is the only thing any of us ever took away from those talks.

That was a long time ago, and I do know things have changed. But on the issue of child abuse of boys, which most boys still dont know about or think cant happen to them, it just has to be a great idea to let two teen survivors lay it on the line. It isnt professional expertise that makes me think this. It just strikes me as common sense.

4. Last and very briefly: Kevin Im sorry you were hurt again and I can understand that you dont want to talk about it. But since I have just spoken about the importance of knowledge and choice there is one last point I wish to stress. Being aware and knowing he has a choice may empower a boy, but it doesnt make him responsible. Not ever. As so many have said, abuse is about power. Its about exploitation of a huge imbalance of power by inducement or deception or threat. There is no way that a 16-year-old boy can be seen as standing on equal terms to a predatory adult. It wasnt your fault. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

Sorry for the length of this post. If the moderators wish to condense it thats fine by me.
Larry
 
I agree with Larry that perceptions of things change as we grow into experience. I can vividly remember my abuse, but it's become more and more a story and less and less a source of constant pain.

A while ago I wrote that I wanted the experience to be like a flesh wound that would eventually leave a small scar. Fortunately for me that's really beginning to happen. So I guess I'm on the healing side of our continuum while Kev and Charlie and lots of other guys have just been hit with the wound.

I'd add (I think) that this continuum has little to do with age. Kid or adult, the wound brings us down (how far down probably mostly has to do with maturity or inner strength as opposed to age). Then we start to heal.

So many intersting things to think about in this thread. I also like what Larry says about any speaking as asserting a right. I read Charlie's poem where he says Not Heard. And it occurs to me that for me speaking is more important than being heard. I can't control what others receive, only my act of communication. So I speak and hope for hearing, but the assertion of speaking in and of itself makes me feel strong, even though I want to be heard as well.

It's great to talk and try to understand one another. The process is the point in this case.

In other words I hope Charlie and Kev's letter gets "sent" so it can be seen. But it's already had an effect. We've all reconsidered some important points about our safe place, and that means the letter is already being heard. Change is happening...people are thinking and responding and caring.

Danny
 
I suppose if I were one of these young guys then I would feel the same, like nobody is listening.
I would totally agree with them too, because a lot of members have not contributed to them.

When these guys live in an adult World of them and us, then they can only expect the same when they come here, and I suppose it can be really frustrating when you feel like there is nobody to turn to and nobody listens or cares.

I really admire the way these guys push forward and raise awareness to their plight, and we do need to listen.

The letter is going to be hard to push. I wrote to a leading daily newspaper here, the editor did not reply, but a columnist just ignored me on two occasions when I told him that I could give him a story on awareness of abuse, with helplines and web addresses.

I think that even if it can be pushed in any direction, even to websites that will post it, then it will start to take issue, find a politician who is interested in the cause, or maybe pop stars who do work in this field.

Survivors are here because they never gave up, and that is the spirit we need to use, so I say, go for it, if you push enough the barriers will fall.

ste

edited to correct grammar
 
I wanted to say that I have recently begun seeing movement to really begin warning and protecting children.

Here in Westchester County NY they have convicted more than 100 online predators in the most aggressive sting operation in the world; in fact NY has closed the loophole of there is no victim if the 14 year-old-boy was a 40 year-old-cop. They have changed the law classification to get these guys jail time.

Also, my little girl was 9 when a local legislator came to the school to present on the " Child Lures " program. I was so impressed with the booklet that came home with her, I took it to the committee I work with in Dutchess County NY and they are going to get it out as well.

The committee is one of many working in Dutchess under a federal grant (only one of 11 in the country) that is working to find the gaps in sex offender management and fix them; the resulting model may be adopted nationwide. And when I brought up the topic of prevention and education for kids and parents they jumped on board right away, and one of the results is a " road show " we put together to help educate parents.

At the board of directors meeting a couple weeks ago, we began to put together ideas about how we want the organization to move forward and we started by picking apart our mission statement:

We are committed to preventing, healing and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy and activism.
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preventing and healing

We are going to start looking into how to reach out to parents and children and educate them and those that work with them and make some connections with other organizations.

Kev, dont ever give up because some people dont listen, there will always be some who wont; as you say, the statistics are high, and many of those who dont want to hear abuse could have been abused themselves and are not ready to deal with it.

Good work guys.
 
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