*waves* Hello all

*waves* Hello all
A

anon_navy_guy

Registrant
Alright, well, first off, looks like I've got a LOT of reading to do to get the full feel for this board. What I'm seeing looks promising though. And also I do apologize if anyone finds any triggers in here. I'm pulling an all-nighter here, so please forgive me if I overlook anything from the TOS to this site, the ol' brain-pan gets funky at these times.

Okay, now, onto me...

I am currently 27, on active duty in the US Navy, and have celebrated my first year's anniversary on the 4th of August, with my wife.

I was molested by my 12 year old babysitter, when I was between 4 and 4&1/2. This probably went on over an entire summer, though memories are sketchy at best most of the time. And FYI, the abuser was a girl. I don't know personally how common or uncommon that is, though I'm imagining it's neither, just part of the "norm" for lack of a better word/phrase. Anyawy, continuing on... I recognized, that it was wrong, largely thanks to my mother's insistance that I know, from as early as I could comprehend, the very basic purpose of sex: procreation. So, when my babysitter finally brought things to that level, I knew that it was wrong, and broke that cycle. I recieved help and treatment, as much as was available back then. And for the most part, I'm "fine" now. I've gone through life, had very few hang-ups resulting from that series of events, etc. Rescently, things have started coming up again, and are causing some problems between me and my wife, who found this site, by the way. So we are communicating, and she is aware of things, and has been since before we got married. So no need to be worried for me on that count. What I'm here, hoping to find, is people who have been through similar circumstances to myself, who have wound up dealing with what I'm going through now, and can share information, ideas, advice, etc. Okay, enough rambling for now. I'll let this post float for a bit and see what comes of it.
 
Hi Navy,

Im glad your wife found this site, and that you have also logged on. As you said, there will be lots of reading of posts that you can do and I hope that [very soon] youll see that you are not alone in the feelings that have evidently and recently resurfaced in you. It is sad that so many of us have been abused the way we have, but there is also great comfort in knowing that others also know and understand EXACTLY how you feel.

Granted, each persons experiences will be unique, but the pain caused and the recovery processes will be similar.

Ive come to learn that abuse among boys and men is more common than has been thought, and also abuse of boys by women/girls is also not a one in a million occurrence. So again, you are not alone.

Both of you Im sure will gain much understanding and help by being here, and not just in the Male Survivors board, but also in the Family and Friends, Sexual Identity Issues and many other boards. I offer this suggestion because of guess why? It affects all areas of our lives and those around us (unless maybe Im uniquely and highly damaged in which case, sorry if that has scared you).

I look forward to seeing you around, and being a help and support if I can. Welcome.
 
*chuckles* Well, no worries about me being freaked. Well, I suppose there are some things that would freak me out, but not many. I'm pretty fortunate that I can let most things just move on by. So on that note, don't worry about anything being a trigger for me. And even it something is, I recognize that, and handle it appropriately. Something in the realm of "Damn that ticks me off... Okay, now, what was I doing again?" hehehe. I would say for the most part I've healed from my abuse quite a long time ago, but now I'm realising that it wasn't a complete healing, and I'm trying to figure out how to deal with the new issues that are coming up.

My biggest problem/concern is where to get help. As I've said, I'm in the military. There are some other things going on with this that while aren't risk factors, could have a rather severe impact on my military career if I were to go through the military health-care. And sadly, some of these issues may have to wait a long time before I can safely seek treatment.

Anyway, the same goes for anyone who's already been here, or finds this site after I have: I'll help however I can. All you need to do is ask me. I can't promise that I'll be able to help, but, if nothing else I'll point you in the right direction.
 
Navy guy,
"welcome aboard", just getting the corny pun out of the way first :D

from what you've described so far I think these forums, and maybe the chat room, could be a good place for you.

If you're away from home then your keyboard might be the only private way of talking about the things that still trouble you.

There's a good crew here that will help navigate the stormy way ahead, so come and join us.
And I promise to stop the nautical puns.

Dave :)
 
Originally posted by Lloydy:
Navy guy,
"welcome aboard", just getting the corny pun out of the way first :D

from what you've described so far I think these forums, and maybe the chat room, could be a good place for you.

If you're away from home then your keyboard might be the only private way of talking about the things that still trouble you.

There's a good crew here that will help navigate the stormy way ahead, so come and join us.
And I promise to stop the nautical puns.

Dave :)
Click to expand...
Hehehe. That's okay, I give as good as I get when it comes to puns :p

And hopefully you're right, that I'll find some of what I'm looking for here. Like I stated in my first post, I've dealt with most of the effects my abuse had on me. And it's just a few "new" things that are coming up that have slightly fouled the waters, as it were. I don't want to bring the specifics up in here yet. Not for lack of trust or comfort, just because I'm pretty sure some of it could be a strong trigger for someone else, and I don't want to cause someone else to get all funky for a while because of something I put out.

Anyway, thanks again. I'll be around :)
 
Navy Guy
don't worry about posting things that might be upsetting, we just ask that you put a "TRIGGER WARNING" at the top.

I guess you've seen many things here already that are upsetting, and even after a few years here I still find tears running down my cheeks when I read some posts, sometimes though they're tears of joy as someone finds whatever it is they were looking for.

Dave
 
Navy,

Welcome to here, and thank you for sharing so much of yourself already. I think we are discovering as a society that sexual abuse of males by females is more of a problem then previously thought. I have a friend here who's main abuser was his mother, for many years. I know there are other men with maternal/other female abusers as well, and my own mother had been quite inappropriate with me. I think you'll find a lot of understanding of that.

I am glad that you got so much help and feel so strong already from what occurred. I am sure that this site and the people here can help you with putting other pieces back into place. So welcome here to you and your wife, and I wish you both good luck.

Leosha
 
Yeah, 'tis a bit wierd, how the stereotypes can hinder the truth so much. I mean, I remember bits and pieces of the aftermath of my abuse, like being told if we did take things to court, that the defense would use every dirty trick in the book against me, and I would be up there alone on the stand, at the age of 4&1/2 to 5, unable to understand or respond "correctly" to the questions going on. A lot of it had to do with the fact that the system in NJ was so lacking at that time(I'm sure it was probably much similar in other places too), and the administration just couldn't get it wrapped around their heads that it was a girl that abused me.

It's also one of those wierd things. I honestly don't think I would have ever had an issue with it as a child, if she hadn't wanted to try to have sex. *shrugs* I dunno.
 
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