Was this consensual?
jalekzander93
New Registrant
Back around the end of August, me and my boyfriend broke up with each other (I’m a male, and I’m gay as well). In September, I started dating this other guy as a rebound. We went on a few dates, but I genuinely did not have any sexual attraction to this individual, as he was simply not my type. On November 1st, this guy came to my house. We started watching a movie and had dinner, and then later on he wanted to go into the bedroom to cuddle. I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with this, only due to the fact that I wasn’t attracted to him, but I did not say anything to him about it, I just went and cuddled with him anyway. A few minutes after we started cuddling, we started to kiss, and he started to pull my pants down and proceed oral sex on me. He did not ask me, but I didn’t try to stop him and I didn’t say no. I was uncomfortable only due to the fact that once again, I was not attracted to him. I laid there and let him do it until I orgasmed. After I was finished, he asked me to do the same with him. Honestly I was ready for him to go home at that point, but I felt like I needed to “return the favor”, as he just did the same to me. Once again, I was uncomfortable because I was not attracted to him (I cannot stress that enough), but I did not say no, I just did it with the mindset, “I’m just ready to get this over with”. Long story short, a few days later, he texted me saying “When I was over and you sucked me, I got the vibe that you didn’t want to do it and you only did it because I asked and it’s been bothering me”, I replied, telling him that honestly I wasn’t ready for that (I just used that as a cover up, because I didn’t want to tell him that I wasn’t attracted to him, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings). He responded back to me very upset because he said that I should have told him that I wasn’t comfortable with that, and he felt horrible that I did something that I wasn’t ready to do because of him.
Long story short, me and this individual no longer talk due to other issues, I broke it off with him maybe about 2 weeks ago. Between the time that this happened and 2 weeks ago, I did not ever think for one minute that I was molested or raped, I just thought of it as, I was in a situation to avoid hurting someone’s feelings by telling them I wasn’t attracted to them. Last week, I told my father about it and he said to me, “It sounds like you were molested and you need to go make a police report”. When my father said this, I immediately felt hurt, and I started to believe that I was raped or molested. Long story short, I went to make a police report in the jurisdiction that I was in, and a couple of days later the detective called me telling me that this did NOT constitute as a sexual assault and it was consensual, even though I did not give an “enthusiastic yes”. I would have thought that would have put my mind at ease, but honestly it didn’t. I’m searching all over the internet for this kind of thing, and my anxiety is running through the roof. Can anyone tell me if this constitutes as rape or molestation?
Long story short, me and this individual no longer talk due to other issues, I broke it off with him maybe about 2 weeks ago. Between the time that this happened and 2 weeks ago, I did not ever think for one minute that I was molested or raped, I just thought of it as, I was in a situation to avoid hurting someone’s feelings by telling them I wasn’t attracted to them. Last week, I told my father about it and he said to me, “It sounds like you were molested and you need to go make a police report”. When my father said this, I immediately felt hurt, and I started to believe that I was raped or molested. Long story short, I went to make a police report in the jurisdiction that I was in, and a couple of days later the detective called me telling me that this did NOT constitute as a sexual assault and it was consensual, even though I did not give an “enthusiastic yes”. I would have thought that would have put my mind at ease, but honestly it didn’t. I’m searching all over the internet for this kind of thing, and my anxiety is running through the roof. Can anyone tell me if this constitutes as rape or molestation?