Was it sex abuse? I guess it was.

Was it sex abuse? I guess it was.

eagle79

Registrant
So, I have a new therapist. I have seen her 3 times now. VERY slowly working on telling her all about me. I told her about the adult female that I was with when I was 16, and this therapist did not hesitate for a second on calling it sexual abuse. By age 16 I had already been through enough sexual trauma (just go and read my other posts), and I guess I never looked at this one as some kind of abuse, but I guess it was.

Summer of 1995 is when this happened. My birthday is August 25 so I was 15/16 at the time. My neighbor up the road from me was looking for somebody to watch his house for a few months, if I remember right he was going on some kind of business trip sorta thing to North Carolina (for some reason I remember this). He was recently divorced and he wanted me to keep on eye on his home and mostly wanted me to make sure that his ex-wife didn't break in or live in the house while he was gone. I had the keys, and I could stay in the house if I wanted, and I could stay in the house at night as well. Nice two-story home, on 5 acres of land (I lived in rural Hugo, Oregon) with a nice bed and a big screen TV and a massive VHS video collection. Yes, trust me I didn't mind staying at this house. I did sleep over for a couple nights but my dog wasn't comfortable sticking around and my dog was my best friend so I decided on just checking the house every day and enjoying a nice walk instead.

But one day I found her, the ex-wife. She wasn't in the house but it's possible that she noticed me walking up the road and she came out of the house before I arrived (or maybe she was still trying to get in). I didn't know her but I knew who she was. I still remember her having a Mickey Mouse t-shirt on when I found her. And I still remember finding her very attractive.

The problem with me is that I am a nice guy, and she convinced me on letting her stay at the house. She had nowhere else to stay anyway, and she told me that it would only be her and nobody else.

For the first week or so I would simply go on up, check the house, check on her, make sure everything was okay, and walk back home. Never had any problems. On one of those days I ended up staying with her on the porch, drinking some sodas, enjoying the view, and just having a nice interaction with her. We started talking about my personal life, about girls, about what I have done with girls, and this was all something that she was asking about. This was the moment where she surprised me and lifted up her shirt, it was something that was a bit of a shocker for me, but at the same time I didn't have a real problem with it. I don't think I said anything, but I know I kept looking. Nothing else happened after that, I am sure we talked some more or something but in the end I just ended up walking back home. I am sure I could have done something with her on this day if I stuck around, but my mind wasn't really comfortable with SEX, especially after all the shit I had previously gone through. I didn't mind her lifting up her shirt in front of me but I honestly didn't know the best way on reacting to this either, and I think the best way on reacting for a 15/16 year old would have been to ask for more.

A week later, give or take a few days, and I wanted to stay at the house for the night. I knew I could do this, I knew I had permission on this, and I knew my grandparents would have zero problems with this. Nobody knew that this ex-wife was staying at the house, it was only me. And I wanted to stay at the house because I wanted to have fun with her. Need I say more about why I wanted to do this? Was it wrong in the way I was thinking? Or maybe she was wrong in allowing this to occur?

But yea, I remember everything about this first night with her. We were in the dining room playing Uno, and for those of you who don't know Uno is a card game. At one point in the game she asked me if I wouldn't mind her getting comfortable and putting on same pajamas, and I said it was okay. Now, she did use the word pajamas, and I was expecting her to come out in some kind of female style pajamas, but when she came back she ended up having on a bra and pantie set with a nearly sheer black top on (best way I can describe it).

Yes, I had sex with her that night. I seriously had no idea what I was doing, but she was nice enough on helping me out and keeping me comfortable and taking control when needed. And yes, I believe I had sex with her 7 times that night. I remember it was maybe 4am when I think I got some kind of sleep. Was all of this wrong? YEP! Was I stupid in doing something like this? NOPE! Was she stupid in allowing this? YES!

I was with her probably until the end of September. I know I was at school for a couple weeks until all this ended, and it only ended because her ex-husband/my boss was coming back home. I never did see her again, in fact I don't even know where the heck she went. But I had sex with her nearly every day for a couple months, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I had been through soooo much by this time in my life (again go read my other posts), and I was happy that I could just relax and enjoy life for a change. I seriously do miss her, think about her often.

ANYWAY.....I told my therapist about her, and it was great way of breaking the ice and telling her a little something about my teenage years. My therapist called it sex abuse and she asked me if I realized that this adult lady was sexually abusing me. I understand where this therapist is coming from, and I kinda sorta in a way agree that maybe it could be looked at as sexual abuse, but for me I look at this adult female as just a wonderful lady who gave me a nice way of relaxing and becoming some sort of normal.

The therapist also asked about condom use, and in all honesty not a single condom was used this entire time. And the next question was if I ever thought that maybe she got pregnant from this. I don't know the answer to that. I do know she was on her period for one of those weeks, but I also do know that that period week was only one week, and I was with her for a couple months. So, maybe she did get pregnant? It's only now, 24 years later, that I start wondering about this. What if she did get pregnant?

The guy who hired me to watch over his house never did talk with me after all of this. Maybe he found out? Who knows. In all reality I wonder why he divorced her to begin with, lol!

Anyway, was all of this sex abuse? I still say no. But yea she would have been in BIG trouble if law enforcement ever found out about it. Who knows. I guess I am only writing this part of my life out because I am just a little confused on what sexual abuse is or isn't. Sex abuse to me is having a guy rape me and not give a shit about how I feel, sex abuse is not a beautiful lady having fun with me and making sure that I enjoy the moment.
 
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think of it as if she was a man at her age, and you were a girl of that age, what would you call it? The same thing applies.
 
Yea, I have thought of that as well. I think she was 32 years old, for some reason that number sticks in my head. So yea, a 32 year old guy doing a 15 year old girl would be a big problem!
 
another way of seeing it is, if you had a kid at that age and an adult of that lady's age did those things to your kid... what would you call it?
 
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