Was it really abuse? *MAY TRIGGER*

Was it really abuse? *MAY TRIGGER*
O

onlyakid

I'm beginning to thing maybe what me and my brother did wasn't abuse. I'm thinking it was more expirmentation. Ok, he was a little bit older than me and he was my brother, but it was all consenual (ok, there was this one time he didn't tell me he was going to enter me), and all my problems seem to stem from my mother who verbally abused me just seems that I always have these flashbacks to things I do wrong or I think I do wrong and start second guessing myself. Although with my brother it did cloud my sexuality abit. Now I'm confused, sexual abuse, verbal abuse or both??
 
Both. The effects of any kind of abuse can be very similar.
 
What you experienced is abuse, plain and simple. You were probably at an age that you had no idea what sex was and what is consensual. Take me for example, the guy who took advantage of me had a couple of things going for him. Size and strength, just like your brother.

To complicate matters, I was drunk and drugged, which rendered me as helpless as a little kid. Just because your body responded does not imply consent. During my attack my body responded to stimulation, but my thoughts, feelings/emotions were off in never never land.

Because my body responded I never looked at it as abuse. I walked around for over a year thinking that I wanted it, but in my heart I knew I didn't. That's one of the major problems with abuse my friend, no one wants to call it abuse because our mind wants simple answers to things. It's cool though, I'm in therapy now and I can finally cry about what happened, before I was just numb which totally screwed with my sexual identity.

Hope this helps.
Take it easy.
 
I think it was abuse. I don't believe a child can give consent to sexual behavior. Maybe you give it some doubt because you take on the responsibility yourself (by calling it consensual). It has affected you. It was wrong.

Leosha
 
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