Was it...? *possible triggers*
frayedfeather
New Registrant
I would like to apologize in advance if I offend anyone with the question I'm going to ask and story I'm going to tell. For the past few months I've struggled to define this occurrence and I would like to know what some of you think...
Spring break this year in college. I'm 21 years old. The dorm is empty and I, young and horny, look to a dating app for some possible fun. I reach a man with a blank profile and he is very interested in hooking up. We exchange pictures. I remember thinking "he's not as good looking as I was hoping for, but he'll do." We agree to meet up. He arrives at my dorm and I go to let him in. But there are people around. One of them I know. And the man is older. I grow very scared and decide not to lead a middle-aged man into my college dorm. I don't let him in and hide in my room.
He messages me this:
"Ok that's it, you are not going to like how this ends. I'm going to print off our conversation and your photo and post them around campus."
I start to freak out. He's offline. I try to message him back but he doesn't get back to me right away. He says he was joking. He just has a "sick brand of humor" that he thought I would like. But he still has a vague threat of blackmail for me. I should note that I am out of the closet as bisexual, but none of my family or friends know I'm sexually active yet. This is not the way I want people to find out.
For hours, he makes me wait (I had been up all night) and doesn't show up to our next agreed meeting downtown. Hours again, and I want to sleep, but he makes his threat again. He says he feels like I played him. Like I'm a predator. He calls me a bad person that people should be warned against. I plead and plead to get him to just forget it but he insists that "something needs to be done about you."
We meet up at 9pm. It's dark. We find a place on the outskirts of town... Here is where the "blurred lines" of this story come in. Because of what I'm going to describe, I don't know whether to call it some kind of assault or not...
I fuck him in the back of his car. He is on his back and I'm between his legs. He tells me he's glad I agreed to come out, that he's been a bad boy, and he needs to be punished. I fuck him as hard as I can and he enjoys every moment of it. I finish, throw away the condom, and sit silently in his front seat. He shows me our thread on his phone and deletes my photo. He brings me back to my campus and says "you were good... now I hope I never see you again."
Again, I am sorry if I am overreacting to this incident, knowing it's something that I could have prevented by not cruising for sex online, but I left it with such a terrible, empty feeling inside me. He blackmailed me. He threatened to sexually humiliate me at my school. In my eyes, he forced me to have sex with him.
so my question... was this a form of sexual assault? Were his actions out of line and unacceptable? Am I wrong for feeling this was a violation of me?
Spring break this year in college. I'm 21 years old. The dorm is empty and I, young and horny, look to a dating app for some possible fun. I reach a man with a blank profile and he is very interested in hooking up. We exchange pictures. I remember thinking "he's not as good looking as I was hoping for, but he'll do." We agree to meet up. He arrives at my dorm and I go to let him in. But there are people around. One of them I know. And the man is older. I grow very scared and decide not to lead a middle-aged man into my college dorm. I don't let him in and hide in my room.
He messages me this:
"Ok that's it, you are not going to like how this ends. I'm going to print off our conversation and your photo and post them around campus."
I start to freak out. He's offline. I try to message him back but he doesn't get back to me right away. He says he was joking. He just has a "sick brand of humor" that he thought I would like. But he still has a vague threat of blackmail for me. I should note that I am out of the closet as bisexual, but none of my family or friends know I'm sexually active yet. This is not the way I want people to find out.
For hours, he makes me wait (I had been up all night) and doesn't show up to our next agreed meeting downtown. Hours again, and I want to sleep, but he makes his threat again. He says he feels like I played him. Like I'm a predator. He calls me a bad person that people should be warned against. I plead and plead to get him to just forget it but he insists that "something needs to be done about you."
We meet up at 9pm. It's dark. We find a place on the outskirts of town... Here is where the "blurred lines" of this story come in. Because of what I'm going to describe, I don't know whether to call it some kind of assault or not...
I fuck him in the back of his car. He is on his back and I'm between his legs. He tells me he's glad I agreed to come out, that he's been a bad boy, and he needs to be punished. I fuck him as hard as I can and he enjoys every moment of it. I finish, throw away the condom, and sit silently in his front seat. He shows me our thread on his phone and deletes my photo. He brings me back to my campus and says "you were good... now I hope I never see you again."
Again, I am sorry if I am overreacting to this incident, knowing it's something that I could have prevented by not cruising for sex online, but I left it with such a terrible, empty feeling inside me. He blackmailed me. He threatened to sexually humiliate me at my school. In my eyes, he forced me to have sex with him.
so my question... was this a form of sexual assault? Were his actions out of line and unacceptable? Am I wrong for feeling this was a violation of me?
