"Was I Abused?"
I'm new here, I found the site yesterday and it has been amazing and confusing.
I told my story, for the first time in detail, to a brother (thanks- I feel adopted) in the chat room. His empathy and understanding was truly remarkable, and helpful. I will share my story but I wanted to get feedback on what I'm most confused about. Feedback is greatly appreciated and I would also love to hear from anyone with similar experiences. (I don't have triggers related to discussing it, so no worries).
I always struggled with how to look at the touching I experienced at 12 years old. A pediatrician touched me but it was different, at least to me it was.
I was at a summer camp and they needed to bring me to the local Dr. my parents weren't there. My confusion was always based on Well he is a Dr. It was only a little touching (fondling??). That is his job to examine kids I was there for a sore throat and an ear infection so why is he touching me? Why did he unbuckle my belt, without saying anything? Why did he pull down my zipper, without saying anything? Why did he lower my pants, without saying anything? Why did he pull down my white briefs, without saying anything? Why did he touch me, without saying anything?
I had many visits to my regular pediatrician, but this was different.
I never discussed it.
I began to ask friends, So how does your doctor do check-ups? How much can you wear? "What does he/she do?"
I ask myself.Was I abused?
I ask myself, compared to the real abuses out there and those experienced by brothers here -Whats the big deal? Stop making it more than it was
Maybe its my issue?
I felt validation yesterday when, in the chat room, he said You were abused but I I'm still confused. After all there are brothers here who were treated thousands of times worse and experienced horrors beyond the imagination why does this affect me?
Its been almost 30 years since then and I haven't stopped wondering about it.
Was I ABUSED?
I told my story, for the first time in detail, to a brother (thanks- I feel adopted) in the chat room. His empathy and understanding was truly remarkable, and helpful. I will share my story but I wanted to get feedback on what I'm most confused about. Feedback is greatly appreciated and I would also love to hear from anyone with similar experiences. (I don't have triggers related to discussing it, so no worries).
I always struggled with how to look at the touching I experienced at 12 years old. A pediatrician touched me but it was different, at least to me it was.
I was at a summer camp and they needed to bring me to the local Dr. my parents weren't there. My confusion was always based on Well he is a Dr. It was only a little touching (fondling??). That is his job to examine kids I was there for a sore throat and an ear infection so why is he touching me? Why did he unbuckle my belt, without saying anything? Why did he pull down my zipper, without saying anything? Why did he lower my pants, without saying anything? Why did he pull down my white briefs, without saying anything? Why did he touch me, without saying anything?
I had many visits to my regular pediatrician, but this was different.
I never discussed it.
I began to ask friends, So how does your doctor do check-ups? How much can you wear? "What does he/she do?"
I ask myself.Was I abused?
I ask myself, compared to the real abuses out there and those experienced by brothers here -Whats the big deal? Stop making it more than it was
Maybe its my issue?
I felt validation yesterday when, in the chat room, he said You were abused but I I'm still confused. After all there are brothers here who were treated thousands of times worse and experienced horrors beyond the imagination why does this affect me?
Its been almost 30 years since then and I haven't stopped wondering about it.
Was I ABUSED?
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