wanting it - going for it - responsibility

[markgreyblue]

for as long as i can remember i have been wanting
to be involved in the psychiatric field -

i also have been stymied by my history and the pattern of self denial and "stunting" of my
development and self posession -

i realize that there were two realizations
awarenesses that - through the permissions denied me - which arrested my ability to permit myself to think and verbalize or intellectualize to myself these things -


hitting a wall for getting what i want -
whether it be the recreational things -
like art - or collecting-

and processing the pragmatic thoughts of how to get these - make money to buy what i want - (rather than just lalala buying.)

permitting myself to actaully DO what i want in order to get these things -

which would be working in the medical/ psychiatric field -

hitting the wall was for me the fear of this responsibility to my patients -

i would be amongst piers i know - and have the support of years of writings and research -

i would not have to be the best psychiatric professional on the face of the planet - just an honest and
and capable one - with the best interests in mind for the patients i am involved with - if their need or
condition were beyond my expertise - then calling all piers for a kibbutz and group effort -

i can have what i want i just must be brave enough
to do what i want to do - and not isolate myself to a job dictated by my low self esteem and fear
that i am talentless - or in fear of the charge.

 

[Aden]

How do we do what we want to do, and do it as if it were just our lives, and what we do by nature?
That wall that keeps us from being what we are is a thick hard wall. And we are not the only people who have that wall to deal with.

Can it be climbed or broken down? Yes. How?

Still searching,

Aden

 

[Mike Church]

My brother go for it. You have it in you to suceed. Too many of us live a life of what if and why me etc. I say well why not me to suceed and be what I want to be. Take the what if and turn it into a reality. You would have the support of everyone here. (All your brothers)