Want to start new center

Want to start new center
A

ADR

Registrant
Greetings. Let me preface this message by apolgizing if you read it in other MS sites -- this is my first time using this type of communication format and I'm uncertain if I'm posting it in the appropriate place.

I attended the MS conference in the Twin Cities a few months ago and I was taken aback by camaraderie and genuineness of my fellow attendees (survivors and clinicians). As survivors disclosed their experiences, I was struck by the lack of quality services out there. To make a long story short I left feeling a sense of purpose from that 4-day training. That purpose is to start a center for male survivors of sexual violence.

I have been a clinician for 11 years; however, 5 years ago I left the field and entered "Corporate America". Now I want to get back to where I feel my soul is fed, and that my friends is back to counseling. However, before I make the jump (which will impact my family), I would appreciate some feedback and direction from you (both the survivor and clinical community).

Please let me know what your experience has been in looking for a trained clinician. What are you looking for in a therapist? Would you seek a generalist in a social service agency, someone at a private practice, services affiliated with a church or an agency advertising treatment (e.g., Sex Abuse Treatment Center). What services are you looking for? Were you initially looking for individual counseling, group therapy, or education?

What I envision is a center where men feel safe to share their experience, normalize their feelings, heal and self-soothe, understand that there are other possibilities to their future, and more importantly “be authentic”.

Lastly, I want to reach out and be a partner in healing, but I need your thoughts in what would make this center a place for you. Please advise.
 
My dear friend, I don't believe that we have ever met, but your timing is incredible! I am so excited about your idea!

As a clinician myself, as well as a male survivor, I whole-heartedly agree with everything that you said in this post. Although I am rather new as an MS member, the sexual abuse has had a profound affect on my life as well as the lives of all of the men involved in with this site and many others who are not, but are out there.

With this in mind, I want to say that I whole-heartedly agree with your paragraph 5 in your post. I would support and do anything in my power to help you start such a center. To restate each word in your vision is exactly what I would like to see and be a part of. I absolutely concur with your vision of "a center where men feel safe to share their experience, normalize their feelings, heal and self-soothe, understand that there are other possibilities to their future, and more importantly "be authentic". You have stated my feelings so perfectly. You are a Godsend.

I, too, would like to be a partner in healing, but I need so much healing myself. I could see it involving individual counseling, group therapy and education. I think that it should involve possibly 2 different levels of therapy, depending on where an individual is in the healing process. As a clinician, it's easier for me to see this as part of program planning. But, on a subjective level, I could see myself as a patient starting near the beginning.

I need your help and, in turn, I would like to be a help to you. I haven't found much quality service for those of us who are male survivors.

I don't know where the twin cities are, but it doesn't really matter to me. I want the healing and I want to help in whatever way that I can. Please let me know what you need from me.
 
John,
Greetings. Let me preface this note to thank you for your feedback and kind words. Good to hear that you are enthusiastically supporting my vision for the center.

Before I discuss my thoughts about the center, I hope that you are in a good and nourishing space in your healing. I saw some messages in one of the boards (possibly Classified) regarding a group starting in NY state. However, I don't know where it is in relation to where you are. Let me know if there is anything I can do.

Anyway, we are in the same wavelength regarding services offered. I'm thinking offering education and therapy to survivors and their loved ones. I have a name for the center, but at this time I'm keeping it close to the vest only because I want to hear feedback regarding what people are drawn to. Hence, I'm currently looking at logistics.

The area population that I live in the Midwest is about 350K. I don't believe any other social service agency offers what I'm trying to develop. As mentioned I've been out of the field for 5 years, but I beginning to network and have found a void of clinicians who specializes in adult male survivors.

However, two of my biggest concerns are: 1) housing for the center; and 2)drawing people in. The first one I can tackle myself, but the second I need more help.

As a survivor, what would capture your eye if you had to go through the yellow pages? Would you look for a private practice, social service agency, or organization affiliated with a church? As a clinician, do you get many adult male survivors?

Again, I would appreciate any feedback (or anyone else). Regards.
 
I invite your gentlemen to the professional listserv we now have at MaleSurvivor. ADR, some of the questions you ask can be found in the article, "A Consumer's Guide to Therapist Shopping". I wrote it about 10 years ago but it gets updated periodically and I think it will give you some ideas about what survivors need (and hopefully you have to offer).

This organization began informally about 20 years ago when Peter Dimock of Minneapolis, Jim Struve from Atlanta, and I independantly contacted Fay Honey Knopp (see the bio on her on the home page) about finding other therapists who were working with male survivors. She put us in touch with each other, we did peer supervision and consultation with each other for a few years (before email and computers... read audiocassette tapes and typewritten letters) and Peter got a grant to set up the first male survivor conference in Minneapolis in 1986.

One of the things that clinicians can do here is to have an active listserv to help each other grow. I'm on another professional listserv and although I don't keep up with the literature as much as I should (I do go to professional conferences a couple times a year that deal with sexual abuse), the listserv keeps me growing professionally.

I commend and support your enthusiasm and interest and hope we can build a good peer/colleague network to grow.

Ken
 
Ken,

Greetings. Thanks for the direction. I subscribed to the listserv and am waiting for a reply.

By the way, I appreciated some of your thoughts and concerns voiced in the last conference.

Regards,

ADR
 
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