Visiting Family
I have been with family including my mom since Tuesday at a relatives lake house. Right now I am in a hotel as tomorrow I am suppose to be at my mothers for a gathering. I just can’t bring myself to stay at the house I grew up in.
i really thought I would be able to be better to not feel uncomfortable even I guess kidded myself thinking I could ask her things. Yet soon as I was there I was uncomfortable which bothers me as it is my mom. She came up one time behind me and put her hand on my shoulder and my gut reaction inside was to get mad for her doing that. That is not normal reaction in my mind for a son to have towards there mom. I got the question I get all the time ever since I was a teen “ are you ok?” That is like just this piercing question when I hear it.
So here I am been laying in bed since 5pm avoiding phone calls even one from my mom just exhausted, frustrated and not sure how to get out of the rut or to not have theses feelings or reactions.
i really thought I would be able to be better to not feel uncomfortable even I guess kidded myself thinking I could ask her things. Yet soon as I was there I was uncomfortable which bothers me as it is my mom. She came up one time behind me and put her hand on my shoulder and my gut reaction inside was to get mad for her doing that. That is not normal reaction in my mind for a son to have towards there mom. I got the question I get all the time ever since I was a teen “ are you ok?” That is like just this piercing question when I hear it.
So here I am been laying in bed since 5pm avoiding phone calls even one from my mom just exhausted, frustrated and not sure how to get out of the rut or to not have theses feelings or reactions.