Victim or Survivor how well were you treated

Victim or Survivor how well were you treated

reality2k4

Registrant
Its a pretty hypothetical question, but most of the stuff I have read about authorities treatment of boys who disclose is pretty damning to say the least.

It ranges mostly from the relevent authorities, police, social services, not knowing how to tackle disclosure at the point of contact.
There is a massive unknown by authorities in knowing how to join up the services to anybody who reports abuse.

OK, if I use one case of a 14yo, whose abuse was reported, he was really made to feel uncomfortable, and it was pretty much of an ordeal, as authorities failed to know how best to deal with the impact on the child.

Its pretty much like saying, OK, its all over now, so go home and you will just be OK.
It became a different matter when his guardians demanded a proper counsellor, but social services nor the police offered this to the boy.

What if we had a one stop approach, were kids who are abused are referred to a team of specialist workers who can assess the child at the earliest intervention time.

So we put the intervention time because the kid needs space to be strong enough to take the first step.

Never treat the child as though he is dirty, or different but be empathetic to what he/she has been through.

Since I disclosed it has been a nightmare finding the right way forward, and it is atypical that you have to scream out for what you really need without a team being able to say, hey this is the way to go.

I just wanted others reactions to how they felt on disclosure, because it is a difficult topic.

Q.1 Where you treated with empathy and care?
Q.2 Did they treat you as a survivor or otherwise/ indifferent or non caring?
Q.3 Do you think they are equipped to deal with survivors, or not?

There are many other questions, but as a disclaimer, anybody reading this should report abuse, its just that I am trying to find out what others feel.

It is only us who can make the difference, not the authorities,

ste
 
Jacob, thanks, I posed three questions, and you got every one totally true as to how survivors may be treated by society.

It is a fallacy that abused boys go on to abuse others, but faced with the difficulty of being almost accused instead of being helped must have been a massive blow.

I am going to use this information to try and make authorities understand the need for kids to be able to disclose safely in the knowing that they will be understood and not type caste.

Your response is tremendous, and it helps break down some of the taboo in disclosure.
I just want a way to let authorities know just how much damage they can actually do when a child discloses.

It is not very good if a child is terrified to disclose knowing that they will be seen as complicit, or a future abuser, and we need to find a safe way for kids to disclose with their needs paramount, not used against them,

ste
 
I was raped by an nco while I was in the US Army in 1977 . I waited a couple of months to report this because I was terrified of the person that did this . He was incharge of the personal department at the 553rd S&S Battailin to witch I was assigned .
When I finaly got the courage to report that I had ben raper they told me to try and get over it and to soldger on .
It took from 200 to 2006 of fighting with the Veterans Admistration. to proove that the rape even happened . I had the military medical records that showed a "RECTAL GOUGE " in the records . I also had my "201 file " that showed a marked change in my bevaviour and attatude twards the military . they eventualy reliesed me from tha army under "Chapter 5" for being unfit for military service. i was given an general discharge under honorable conditions
I have tryed to get the military to give me info on the rapeist , without any luck .
I have managed to find out hid name and ranh at the time i was raped . with out there help
In aunser to your question . I was treated like I was a nobody and have had to fight to get any where at all .
The rapest was neaver proscuted for his crime . that is a crime in its self . I am still looking for the SOB 29 years latter . hopefuly he will pay for his crime some day
 
i was taken from my family lied to to get me to testify ,dragged through a court trial almost as bad as the abuse then left to rot in detention and foster care. iwas treated like a criminal because i couldnt deal with what happened to me . i was told the abuse was no excuse for the things i did .for me telling only made things worse
 
So, what we have so far, is that we are treated as villains, or at best with destain.

The one thing a kid needs on disclosure is to realise the fear of being seen as somehow "being part of it".

Every cop shop of decent size should have a small unit to bring in a special team designed especially to deal with this sort of thing, a bit like the trauma teams in hospitals.

I remember my time with the cops, and it was terrible to remember.
It is one thing that keep kids silent, and maybbe wait years to disclose, or never.

If kids knew they would be totally safe with a specialist team and listened to in the right way, many more would have the courage to disclose,

I am pushing for this right for all abused in the UK, but you can do it anywhere you live.
Its time that we change things, because we know they never could!

ste
 
Come on guys, I need more feedback good or bad, so let us know how you felt treated by the good old authorities,

ste
 
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