Very Long.. Please Read
The Story:
My husband and I have been married for three 1/2 years, together for four 1/2. I am 7 months pregnant. I just found a bunch of empty liquor bottles and porn that he had hidden and I'm really at my wits end.
My husband suffered extensive abuse as a child. His father was an alcoholic, both parents used drugs and were into all kinds of occult practices. His mother committed suicide and he found her on two of her attempts. People were brought into the home that abused him in every way possible. I just don't have enough time or space here to list all of the horrible things that were done to him, what he was told about himself, how he was not fed, left for a week at a time before he was not even yet a teen to care for his younger sister and hunt for their food.
When he first met I, of course, had no idea about all of this. I knew some basics before we were married, but half of his memories didn't come back up until after we had been married for a year or so.
Sex with him, if I let it go his way, was always dark. He would wet the bed. He drank way too much and would become mean and hurtful. He was using drugs behind my back and drinking even more than I knew. Eventually I got him to open up to me (about 2 1/2 yrs ago) and things have been much better: no bed wetting, more honesty, less drinking, kinder, etc. It wasn't all at once, but sort of happened over time. Anyway, here's where we are today:
Since we found out that we have a child coming (a son) he has been strong enough to stand up to his family regarding all of this - including his father. I know that he wants so badly for things to be healthy and normal with us.
He went through a bad withdrawl when he stopped drinking entirely (a very recent thing) so I really want to believe him when he says that these bottles were just left behind. We hardly ever have sex now b/c he says that he has a hard time keeping it bright and loving. We have never been able to have a normal sex life, but I have been okay with that b/c I knew that things were slowly getting better. My fear is for my child now. Is my husband drinking again? How do I trust him when he has given me so many reasons not to.. this is not the first time I've found bottles, but it is the first time since I actually watched him suffer the withdrawl.
and what is the deal with the porn? I have no real problem with pornography w/in a happy, healthy relationship, but when it is instead of that relationship I get worried. Am I overreacting? and how do I convince him that I can be trusted with the truth when I don't trust him 100%?
My husband and I have been married for three 1/2 years, together for four 1/2. I am 7 months pregnant. I just found a bunch of empty liquor bottles and porn that he had hidden and I'm really at my wits end.
My husband suffered extensive abuse as a child. His father was an alcoholic, both parents used drugs and were into all kinds of occult practices. His mother committed suicide and he found her on two of her attempts. People were brought into the home that abused him in every way possible. I just don't have enough time or space here to list all of the horrible things that were done to him, what he was told about himself, how he was not fed, left for a week at a time before he was not even yet a teen to care for his younger sister and hunt for their food.
When he first met I, of course, had no idea about all of this. I knew some basics before we were married, but half of his memories didn't come back up until after we had been married for a year or so.
Sex with him, if I let it go his way, was always dark. He would wet the bed. He drank way too much and would become mean and hurtful. He was using drugs behind my back and drinking even more than I knew. Eventually I got him to open up to me (about 2 1/2 yrs ago) and things have been much better: no bed wetting, more honesty, less drinking, kinder, etc. It wasn't all at once, but sort of happened over time. Anyway, here's where we are today:
Since we found out that we have a child coming (a son) he has been strong enough to stand up to his family regarding all of this - including his father. I know that he wants so badly for things to be healthy and normal with us.
He went through a bad withdrawl when he stopped drinking entirely (a very recent thing) so I really want to believe him when he says that these bottles were just left behind. We hardly ever have sex now b/c he says that he has a hard time keeping it bright and loving. We have never been able to have a normal sex life, but I have been okay with that b/c I knew that things were slowly getting better. My fear is for my child now. Is my husband drinking again? How do I trust him when he has given me so many reasons not to.. this is not the first time I've found bottles, but it is the first time since I actually watched him suffer the withdrawl.
and what is the deal with the porn? I have no real problem with pornography w/in a happy, healthy relationship, but when it is instead of that relationship I get worried. Am I overreacting? and how do I convince him that I can be trusted with the truth when I don't trust him 100%?
