uplifting weekend
Those of you who know my story, know that I have really been struggling to open up with my wife. I had told her very little before, and decided that I needed to come clean. We talked long and hard Friday night. I told her all of what happened, and how I felt it affected me now. I explained how I was tired of letting him have control of my life, and how I was working to change.
Turns out she was molested at ten, and raped at sixteen. I knew she had lost her virginity at sixteen to a man in his twenties, but she had never admitted that it was rape before. I figure if she cant understand what I am going through, no one can.
I think we really connected in many ways. She had some very valid points, like using the abuse as an excuse. There has to come a point where the abuse has to cease being your excuse for everything you do wrong. Before I started dealing with the issues, I could make a case for it, but now that I am aware that I have these problems, the excuses begin to wear thin. At what point does the abuse stop being the cause, and I must be accountable? Surely, once I left denial, and admitted a problem, I could no longer claim that I didnt know any better.
Her down-to-earth logic sometimes gets me. I told her that things were not so black-and-white for me. I explained that because I had all this baggage I thought getting a vasectomy was wrong, but wasnt able to speak my mind. She said that speaking was a problem she had as well, and she just made up her mind she was going to do it. Sometimes, I think she went too far the other way J.
The whole weekend was very uplifting. I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders, and like we understand one another like never before.
Turns out she was molested at ten, and raped at sixteen. I knew she had lost her virginity at sixteen to a man in his twenties, but she had never admitted that it was rape before. I figure if she cant understand what I am going through, no one can.
I think we really connected in many ways. She had some very valid points, like using the abuse as an excuse. There has to come a point where the abuse has to cease being your excuse for everything you do wrong. Before I started dealing with the issues, I could make a case for it, but now that I am aware that I have these problems, the excuses begin to wear thin. At what point does the abuse stop being the cause, and I must be accountable? Surely, once I left denial, and admitted a problem, I could no longer claim that I didnt know any better.
Her down-to-earth logic sometimes gets me. I told her that things were not so black-and-white for me. I explained that because I had all this baggage I thought getting a vasectomy was wrong, but wasnt able to speak my mind. She said that speaking was a problem she had as well, and she just made up her mind she was going to do it. Sometimes, I think she went too far the other way J.
The whole weekend was very uplifting. I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders, and like we understand one another like never before.