update

update
P

phoster

Registrant
Im back.

I want to say I am sorry I havent stayed in touch as I should. This place can be hard though. Coming here, seeing all the pain, and not being able to help much is hard for me. When youre on the other side of things, you think you should be able to help the ones here that are struggling. The problem is, sometimes you cant, and it is hard to see someone suffering, and not know what to say. That is why I stop coming.

There is this part of me that wants to give back to the group that helped me when things were bad, and that is why I decided I need to be here, even if sometimes I dont know what to say.

Since I was here last, I have continued in therapy, and for the most part am okay. I have my bad days, but to a degree I think that is just being human. Certainly, I am not depressed any longer, and have a good support network of friends. In my last therapy session, we talked of me going it alone, and my next session I am supposed to let him know for sure. I believe that time is over for me.

Anyway, one thing I know is that to keep my head on right, I need this place. I need the reminder of how bad it can be, and of why I have worked so hard. I hope to get to know my old friends here, and maybe make some new ones. For better or worse, I am back, and I hope to stay for a long, long time.
 
I always appreciated your comments, your willingness to share your experiences, and how you just plain talk to people here. You have much to offer the others.

I have stopped seeing my T myself.
 
WB, I was wondering where my learned friend had got to,

ste
 
phoster -
Nice to meet you. I've only been sporadically involved here so I don't know other guys too well. It was very important for me to stop seeing my T, though at some point I will go back, when I am ready. Being my own witness and answering to myself has been very important (and very difficult).

I have my own really bad days or weeks, but for the most part it has been a bright, forward movement the past few months since confronting my abuser.

Sometimes I feel that same sad hopelessness when read posts by others here who are at different places. So last week I decided to volunteer at a Rape Crisis hotline. I won't start training for a month, but it feels good to think I can help someone in the here and now.
 
Hey Phoster, nice to see you back. Looking forward to your insights.
 
thank you all. i feel kind of out of touch with everything, but i guess that will take time.
 
Phoster
I used to have a huge plaster mushroom like that. Stole it from a bar while doing just a few hits of acid. Doesn't everyone do this stuff? Then I got on a city bus with it under my coat!
Sure. Sanity?
Anyway, I found out that after a few days here, I felt right at home. It is the group, not just me, going at it. I am not alone.

froggy12
 
there's kind of an inside joke with the mushroom. i got into sports big-time when i was a teen. when i started dating my wife, it seemed like i hadnt done anything, so they started saying i was like a mushroom, kept in the dark and fed a lot of crap. it just seemed the perfect icon for me.
 
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