upcoming conference

upcoming conference
D

Don Wright MEd

Registrant
MaleSurvivor:NOMSV's next conference is fast approaching. There promises to be many dynamic speakers and a wide range of topics related to male survivors. I have been attending MS conferences since Tucson. That is six by my count (I think I missed one). At every conference I gain new knowledge about male survivors and treatment methods. However, most profoundly moving, is the way that the experience finds its way into some corner of myself that did not expect to be moved. Maybe even some corner of myself I was unaware of, or had forgotten about. I am also deeply moved by the international community of male survivors, therapist, family and friends who are linked by an understanding of the pain these incredable people must endour and have survived.
In New York at a plenary session, one by one people stood up in the audience and declared themselves as survivors; some named their offenders, other chose not to. More and more people stood up and proclaimed. Soon it looked more like a standing ovasion at a concert. I guess it really was a standing ovasion for themselves.
These MaleSurvivor conference are a unique an somewhat magical. If there is anyway you can attend the conference in Minneapolis this September, I encourage you to do so. If you haven't check out the conference information, go back to the home page and do so before you log off. I hope to see you there.

Don Wright
President-elect
 
Hi Don,

I wish I had thought of this much sooner. There are a couple of therapists I would like to have sent the info to about the conference. But, i suspect anyone that does not have it in their budget can't just pack up and go. Next time though.

Bob
 
While it may be a bit on the late side, Bob, I think if each reader in this forum tells his therapist about the conf, we might get more coming. I think that once therapists see the quality of the workshops and presenters, it might make sense for them to attend. There is a wealth of information there for therapists, survivors and their sig others.

Ken
 
Ken,

Does the listserv have a lot of subscribers? Are there other mailing lists that you use where an announcement would be on topic?

I sent the link to the conference program page and the text from the conference welcome page to my psychologist today and asked her pretty much the same thing.

HTH,

Joe
 
Thanks, Joe. We hired a conference coordinator to help organize the marketing. She will be looking at related websites and trying to get the msg out to different groups. We have a lot of work to get our numbers up to a respectable amount. There is so much good energy when we get over 100-200 attendees, in my experience.
Ken
 
Bob,
You said that it is too bad that there had not been more time to let people know, and that people may not have it in their budget to just pick up and go. There are people who reserve professional development money, just for the right type of conference or learning experience to come along. It is never too late to let people know about such an opportunity. I am hoping that other people will pick up on this thread and feel inspired to find a way to attend.
I have never attended a conference comparable to what I get out of MaleSurvivor: NOMSV conferences. It is the quality of the conferences that brought me into the organization and it is a big part of why I stay. I would like to see more people, both professionals and survivors, find what I've found at these conferences.
Will you be there? If so, come up and say hi!

Regards,
Don
 
Don't forget, it's only a couple of weeks away and there are places available.

If you need information just scroll down the page and the details are there.

I attended a similar conference here in the UK a while back and they are worth the effort.
The speakers have so much to offer, and the workshops are good as well.

But meeting other survivors was the greatest thing I ever did.

I just wish I could be there with you.

Dave
 
do you have to be a member of this forum to attend the conference? i live in the area i'm thinking about it.

john
 
John
I don't believe you do have to be a Member to attend.

Follow this link for for more information and details of booking.

https://www.malesurvivor.org/Conferences/2003/registration.htm

Dave
 
No you do not have to be a MaleSurvivor member to attend but you get a discount if you are.

It is really a worthwhile event for survivors/professionals to attend. I know I will get to meet some of you there...Mark
 
i have to admit that the thought of a conference never remotely occured to me prior to visiting this site. it's a little hard to imagine myself at anything like this. however, i have come to the point where i am considering i need to get some help dealing with some fallout of SA. So...

can anybody who has attended one of these give me some feedback. why do you think it is helpful, what goes on, why should i consider going?

i should tell you that i am really a loner. i dont do crowds. i'm not very outgoing. i tend to be standoffish, not really perhaps, but thats the perception people have of me. i guess it may be a coping mechanism, because i do miss personal contacts and friendships.

i would be grateful for your help. if anyone wants to pm me, that would be fine. thanks
 
I attended a similar conference here in the UK a few years back and it was possibly the defining moment of my recovery.

I had so much fear as I drove there, and entered the Universitywhere it was held. But nobody pointed and laughed at me, I didn't stand out from the others there, and I very quickly met other people who had also been abused ! WOW..... I REALLY WASN'T ALONE !!

Over the next two days I forged some lasting friendships, learned more about myself and the problems of abuse than I ever thought possible, and came away a different person.

It's hard to visualise that the other people who are going to be there are there for the same reasons you are.
I had visions of stuffy proffessors and hippy alternative therapist all talking a different language and jumping on me to use as an example of a hopeless case.

Nothing could be further from the truth, we all spoke the same language.
We all spoke about the way we feel, the emotions we experience and whatworks for us.

If you can get there - go. I wish I could join you.

Dave
 
Dave,

A big debt of gratitude, buddy.

Here is one guy who is also approaching this conference with fear and trepidation.

I know in my heart of hearts that I will be glad to meet some of the guys that I've been "talking" with, here, but there is that feeling that everybody else has a real handle on their recovery and I'm still lagging behind like some Neanderthal who just doesn't get it, instead of realizing--"that they're OK and I'm OK, too."

The few family members to whom I've told that I'm going to this conference, tell me that I'm going to "enjoy every minute of it."

Well, besides not believing that, I know that I'll hear about a lot of pain and wonder why "they," the other guys, seem to be standing so tall while I can still feel like I'm standing in a hole.

I am committed to going, however, I wouldn't miss meeting some of our brothers for anything, even if I think that I'll run and hide as they approach.

Shakin' and quakin' but thanking you for your post.

David

P. S. And, why is it that our incredible moderators are not rewarded with passes in getting to our conference? I got $200 toward that goal. Anyone else?........anyone?....anyone?

David
 
I have attended the last two conferences...one in Vancouver and the one in NYC.

I attended the pre conference institute which Therapist Mike Lew (author of "Victims No Longer) conducted for survivors only...there were some 35 men in this workshop, several who were very much afraid...who admitted they were very nervous and didn't know what to expect. I can tell you that these men really opened up and said they felt far more comfortable because they saw so many other men just like them...afraid and ashamed....but within 30 40 minutes of the workshop they realized they weren't any different then any of the other men there....They no longer felt alone but most of all many of the men in the room said the felt "safe" for the first...we established a network of new friends and many still keep in touch...I very much recommend it.

There are many other workshops and opportunities to take advantage of...I also think that seeing so many people gathered for the sake of all boys and men who have experienced sexual abuse...well its very validating. I won't deny the fact that it can bring up some strong feelings but you can begin to see things in a whole new light.

I had already begun counseling prior to my first conference and I think it is very important and beneficial to get professional help to work through the SA issues but if nothing else I think the conference can and will be a positive experience overall. Who knows....you may even find a therapist there that you really feel comfortable with....there will be many from the MSP area who will be attending and presenting.

I will admit that I was very nervous but I did tell my story of abuse (I was a victim of clergy abuse) at the last conference and will be presenting again at this one along with The Dean who posts on this forum.

I attended a workshop where another survivor also told his story of abuse at the hands of a summer camp counselor....he is an FBI agent today. What a powerful experience to hear this man tell his story!

Yes, I was quite nervous and very much unsure when I attended my first conference in Vancouver....but I wouldn't think twice about attending again. Please consider attending!

Mark
 
As of today, the deadline for getting the discounted conferencfe rate at the hotel has been extended till September 5th.

I have attended and presented at every one of our conferences since 1994, when MaleSurvivor was formally organized in Columbus. It is the only conference I attend that I would never miss. The warmth and safety there allows wonderful things to happen. I met a man who came to the conference supposedly for professional reasons. But for the first time ever, at age 70 or more, he was moved to tell people that he was a survivor of boyhood sexual abuse. He felt that at last he was in a network of people who could understand and support him in the loneliness he felt. Likewise, non-professional survivors have come away feeling connected and healthy. And professionals who are not survivors learn from the top experts in the field about how to treat male survivors. It's a great conference, and I personally urge you all to come and to tell your loved ones and the professionals who work with you to attend as well.

Richard Gartner
President
MaleSurvivor
 
Richard....good point. I attended the Vancouver conference with my wife. What a difference it made in our relationship. She was so moved...she told me that attending the conference really opened her eyes to some of the issues I had been dealing with but she said she really couldn't understand...but after attending the conference all that changed. She heard from other survivors who were dealing with many of the same issues.

I also remembered something that happened at the NYC conference that I would like to share. My wife worked in an office nearby and had done some work for the conference...she sent this work via messenger. When the messenger arrived he was astonished to see that there was in fact an organization that specifically dealt with issues of male sexual abuse...in fact he repeated a statement that his wife often told him. She said to him on several occasions "men can't be the victim of sexual abuse". He started to walk away when he stopped returned to the woman he had been talking with and said that he was sexually molested as a child and was wondering if he could attend the conference the next day! Of course he was welcome.

I can't say it enough....I believe any survivor of sexual abuse will get a great deal from attending the conference.

Mark
 
Guys, I know that I've told some of you that I'll be attending the conference. Well I'm not going to be able to make it. My project over here in Taiwan will have a critical go-live component that weekend and I have to be here for that.

I really wanted to meet as many of you as possible, but I guess the stars aren't aligned properly for that.

I hope you all have a good time there.

Jim
 
Jim,

That is a major league bummer. I hope we will at least have some kind of contact, PM, post, whatever, during that time. I don't know how yet, but I hope to be able to get my laptop online from MN. The hotel does not include internet connection in their list of amenities like some Raddisons do. :(

I'm still looking forward to meeting you in person some day. You are a very courageous man and the strength you've shown in your recovery inspires me.

Best of luck with the project. Sounds kind of neat to be deploying in Taiwan.

We'll miss you in MN.

Joe
 
Outis....although the individual rooms don't have a internet connection....and that is a bummer. They do have data ports or connections you can use in the hotel...probably located in the conference area. So I am sure you will be able to get on-line at some point.

The deadline to register a hotel room at the MaleSurvivor discount has been extended to September 5th so please book rooms now if you havn't already done so. Remember you get a discounted rate if you are a MaleSurvivor Member....so you could join now and still get the discount for the conference.

If you are coming...there will be a fantastic silent auction on Friday evening...all kinds of artwork, also autographed sports memorabilia, the original artwork from a cover to a Marvel Comic magazine just to name a few things....Make sure you check it out.

Mark
 
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