unsure

unsure
M

MollyHatchetrules

Registrant
I'm probably going to be visiting my dad the day after Christmas, but I'm not sure whether I should or not. I found out over the summer that the guy who hurt me lives near him, and that they have become good friends. So if I was to go visit my dad, there is a chance that he would be there too. I was thirteen the last time he did anything, and I was sixteen the last time I saw him. I just don't know how I would handle it if he was there. So what I'm wondering is whether I should risk it or not.
 
Well, if it were me, I would not let fear of seeing your perp stop you from seeing your Dad. But, does your dad know what that f*cker did to you? It will be a tough decision, but do you really want your life ruled by fear? jmho.
Casey
 
Thats a good point. It's like this person is also affecting your relationship with your dad.
Maybe - go with a feeling of survival and a soul of love for your father. I'm sure your dad wants you to be there. Good luck to you.
 
I think that I would want some kind of understanding before I went. Not only triggers that could set you off, but it could get ugly if you actually ran into the sob.
If your Dad does not know what happened to you, it might be a time to tell him. Besides, if he finds out later, and he has been a friend to this guy, he might feel deceived.
Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure that you'll do it just right.
Have a happy reuion with your father.

David
 
No, my dad doesn't know what happened, and telling him is out of the question. He wouldn't believe it. And when I posted earlier, I should have made it clear that I still don't know whether I could go even if I wanted to. I won't know until Sunday whether I can go see him or not. That's because I'm also going to see my granddad and some other friends who were promised that they could see my nephew on Sunday. So I might not even be able to see my dad. But I have already decided that I will go to see him if I am able to. I have realized that if I intend to take control back from him then I have to take some chances that I normally wouldn't take, even if it involves a chance that I might run into him. I've been letting him control my life for nine years now. It's time to correct that mistake.
 
We each have to make our own decisions. But I can tell you that if I saw my perp face to face, now as an adult, it would get very ugly indeed.

I never had that occasion and now my main perp is dead. But I just feel that if I had seen him, and I had the strength to do so, I would have laid into him.

But I also agree that his existence and friendship with your Dad should not keep you separate--maybe you can see your Dad somewhere else where the pervert is not going to be.

I hope all goes well for you and it turns out better than you might have thought it would.

Bob
 
I don't know how it would have gone if he had been there, but I think we're both lucky that he wasn't.
 
What's good is that you went there - you were obviously more prepared for what could have happened than you think you were. That shows strength - good on you...Rik
 
What's good is that you went there - you were obviously more prepared for what could have happened than you think you were. That shows strength - good on you...Rik
 
You've done a great thing to take back some of the control of the situation. So much of what happened to us, what was DONE to us by these a**holes affects our relationships today. You have taken some of that back, and it is a very good thing. Congratulations.

leosha
 
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