uneasiness
I was watching a documentary on Charles Dickens yesterday. The only thing I ever knew about him was that he was the author of "Christmas Carol". I am uncomfortable in my own skin right now because I fear doing what he did.
He started out in a middle-class family with a decent upbringing, but later his father got in very bad financial straits. The family ended up going to debtor's prison (they really had them), and Charles ended up working in a sweatshop making shoe polish. He was only about 15 at the time.
Well, I don't know if it was in him or from the events of his past, but he made the statement in his young writing years "I am going to be the most read author in the world". And he did so.
But even over the course of his life he never got filled. He was extremely rich, more along the lines of J.K. Rowland (Harry Potter). I am disturbed because he was never happy. He made more money than he could have ever dreamed.
Also, he married one woman, but was in love with her sister. The sister died a few years later, and he even spoke of being buried close to her. He stayed married and had ten children, but grew restless in later years. He left her for a much younger woman (maybe idolizing him due to age and social power), and even she was alledged to have said "I could not stand the old man touching me".
I don't want life to be like this for me. I reach our sometimes, become weary, then complacent, maybe manipulative, and I don't feel I am a man of, well, faith. In much at all. I fear losing...myself. I fear I'll be a miserable man. I don't want this.
He started out in a middle-class family with a decent upbringing, but later his father got in very bad financial straits. The family ended up going to debtor's prison (they really had them), and Charles ended up working in a sweatshop making shoe polish. He was only about 15 at the time.
Well, I don't know if it was in him or from the events of his past, but he made the statement in his young writing years "I am going to be the most read author in the world". And he did so.
But even over the course of his life he never got filled. He was extremely rich, more along the lines of J.K. Rowland (Harry Potter). I am disturbed because he was never happy. He made more money than he could have ever dreamed.
Also, he married one woman, but was in love with her sister. The sister died a few years later, and he even spoke of being buried close to her. He stayed married and had ten children, but grew restless in later years. He left her for a much younger woman (maybe idolizing him due to age and social power), and even she was alledged to have said "I could not stand the old man touching me".
I don't want life to be like this for me. I reach our sometimes, become weary, then complacent, maybe manipulative, and I don't feel I am a man of, well, faith. In much at all. I fear losing...myself. I fear I'll be a miserable man. I don't want this.