Underwear (no triggers; self-care)

TJ jeff

Staff member
Hadn't read this thread in a while... NC's post back in Dec kind of hit me - I think in some strange way in my young teen mind that it was a security thing for me that I switched from tighty-whitey's to colored briefs - I can clearly remember as a young teen that somehow just switching from white briefs to colored briefs made me feel more secure (as if in my young mind I thought that somehow my uncle wouldn't have done what he'd done if I had been wearing colored ones - which I know is crazy - because he obviously would have - but I do remember feeling more "secure" somehow just simply by changing from white to colored)

F.A. - I do like the Athletic Works underwear also - form fitting - light compression - good breathability that won't hold moisture and give you that wet feeling in the summer months - I have over the past 10+ years purchased just about every type that Walmart has had available - I have gotten to a point in my life where I chose underwear depending upon what it is that I am going to be doing that day - I work a very hot and sweaty job - so breathability/wicking is highly important - and yet in the wintertime some of those fabrics can leave your bits feeling cold - so it's always good to have multiple choices on hand
X-men there is a game changer in the mix and it is Athletic Works by Wal-mart. Feels like silk, supports, and controls without binding, breathable and fully flexible. Unique gusseted crotch makes all the difference.
I will keep an eye out for those!

just me

wow this thread....
For me it was tighty whities until my 40s then I discovered how much I like low rise black briefs ......it does make me feel better ...and some other things too :cool:


New Registrant
The idea that underwear give a sense of protection never occurred to me. I've changed types several times in my life. The changes I remember were after the CSA, after getting out of the military, and after I separated from my ex. All of these were traumatic in their own way. Maybe the change was part of an attempt to start over?

Anyway, I now use Duluth Buck Naked boxer briefs. They are cool and wick moisture away, which is important at work.
Maybe the change was part of an attempt to start over?
I have heard it say that ANY small change can help you conquer a larger change that you are unsure about. I do similar things like where I park my car at work.

Ordered from Amazon, the same link that normally gives you black and gray, this time I got teal, 2 blues and a gray. A pleasant surprise.
Yep it's Hanes haha what a cool post! I like the Hanes solid colors, not sure how else to describe them, but they are solid black ones, blue ones, grey, purple, and lime green

Ordered from Amazon, the same link that normally gives you black and gray, this time I got teal, 2 blues and a gray. A pleasant surprise.
How do you.post pictures? I have tried but cant do it
How do you.post pictures? I have tried but cant do it

upload them to a "picture sharing" site. I use Vgy.me

after uploading, it will give you the share link in several versions.

copy the "bbcode" version of the link it gives you... (starts with [ img ] with no spaces).

Paste that version of the link into your text.

if you use a different host, get a url link and add "[ img ]" (no spaces or quotes) to the beginning of the link and add "[ /img ]" (no spaces or quotes) to the end.


This is posting is right on, and yet a pleasant humour is in the room!
To tell the truth, I like going "Commando" or "G" strings are very comfortable on very hot days, I'm a bit of a "Bohemian".
Thanks for bringing this up!
I grew up wearing that JCPenney white dashed band underwear like my brother and dad wore. Last time I saw my brother late in the evening (we don't live in the same town) and I was visiting he was wearing a tshirt and underwear-those. I saw my dad right before he died and again, he wore them. When I began to remember the abuse from my brother, he is wearing those.

On a side note, I stopped wearing those white underwear as soon as I left home. I wore boxers, then boxer briefs, then Polo and Calvin Klein briefs. Then I went through a phase of sexy underwear phase and bought A LOT of briefs, jocks, and stuff like that (2xist, C-IN2, etc). I then gained weight and couldn't wear them. I just a lot of weight and can wear them again and feel good wearing them just like the other guys who have posted (and don't want anything like my dad or brothers).


As a teenager I stopped wearing underwear. I was a slut/whore, we didn't wear them. It's so weird what you take from your perp. The man who kidnapped me told me not to wear them when he dressed me. and I just stopped. That was who I was.

Just a few years ago, a guy in the locker room noticed and asked if it wasn't uncomfortable. I never thought of it. But yes it was. I know I liked how my speedo felt, so I thought maybe I would like briefs. I did and do. I have my favorites "David Archy Ultra Soft Comfy Rib Micro Modal Briefs". They feel good and I feel good in them.

TJ jeff

Staff member
Greyhound - thank you - I never considered that part of the reason I might have switched away from the tighty-whiteys might have been because it was what my uncle was wearing (I do know that another factor was probably the staining of the white ones because my underwear was used to clean up afterwards)
Tighty whiteys, Fruit of the Loom and Hanes, were the underwear of my childhood, with all kinds of not terribly great associations...not so much with the instances of direct abuse, but rather with other things I think of as side-events, circumstances in which I can now recognize I was being either scoped out or groomed by someone who (probably?) didn't take it all the way. (It's increasingly clear to me as I remember the behavior of camp counselors, certain interactions with men at the tennis club, etc., that my abuser wasn't the only guy with an eye for boys who saw me at that age and recognized a likely and appealing victim. The abuse that started at age 8, I think, put something of a target on my...back?) These are things that I recognize in retrospect, but did not fully understand at the time. At the time it was just: hmmm...why is this guy staring at me while I get ready to get in my sleeping bag? Why does that one say he wants to watch me in the shower to "check that I'm actually naked"?

In my teenage years I kept wearing tighty-whiteys because that was what was in the drawer and what everybody else wore. Plus I considered myself physically repulsive and therefore worked hard not to think too much about how I looked. In college I switched to cotton boxers, because a girlfriend insisted. She said tighty-whiteys were "too childish." I actually remember going to a local store in my college town and buying a bunch with a kind of desperation in advance of a date that she'd made clear would end up in bed. They felt oddly loose at first, but I eventually got used to that "just hanging" feeling. I still wear them now. It occurs to me that I in fact have a few pairs in the drawer that might actually date back to my college days, or shortly thereafter, which would make them at least a quarter century old. Maybe a trip to Target is in order. :p

For what it's worth, more silky/sexy/skimpy underwear actually makes me feel uncomfortable, bordering on triggered. I got some "new-school" briefs to wear after a vasectomy and was taken by surprise by just how uneasy it made me to have them on. As I get deeper into my various memories and place them more firmly in my childhood context, it's becoming clear to me that one of the things my abuse at 10 caused was a profound distress at being found "sexy" or "beautiful" or "physically attractive," all of which I increasingly suspect were things my abuser told me I was, and that I therefore associated with being vulnerable to what happened, and even more with that sense of abject powerlessness over my body and identity (basically being on the "object" side of a relationship of sexual objectification, I think) that I remember as one of the worst parts of the abuse. My guess is that this might also help explain why once puberty hit I became totally convinced I'd become a hideous toad. At the time I felt distress at that, but it's clear to me now that it was more about projecting an idea of myself that would make me feel "safe" from any possibility of either objectification or intimate physical connection with others.
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