Trouble with Kids at Camp
I'm new here, mainly been reading the posts, but something happened yesterday that I'd like to share and get your feedback on. It's a pretty long post, and I apologize for that, but just bear with me.
First, about me: I was abused from 12 to 14 by a man who had become a "father figure" to me. After years of counseling, I was recently diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress. I had just come from my psychiatrist appointment yesterday when this happened:
Yesterday afternoon, we stopped by our kids' day camp to pick them up. I stayed in the van, desperately feeling like a flashback was about to seize me, and trying to stave it off. The kids came out, including two kids who live next door to us, and everyone got into the van. As we were leaving, one of the neighbor's children, a 12-year-old, told us that one of the counselors had told our five-year-old that he was going to kidnap her. My oldest daughter, who is quite assertive, said no you won't, I'll tell my parents. He then said, "it would your word against mine and I'm a really good liar. I could take you somewhere they would never find you." My wife hit the brakes and drove back over to the center and we went in and found the counselor and told him to get his ass in the hall. Fortunately, the site director was there and we asked her to come out as well. My wife asked him if he said all the things our kids said he had and he said that yes, he had, but he was just joking. My wife asked him if he thought that was a funny joke and he said, yes, he thought it was. My wife was yelling, but kept her composure but I was ready to rip the little fucker's head off. He and the site director kept making excuses and I told them that if we had come in, and they had said, you know what, you're right, that was inappropriate, it will never happen again, we would have been satisfied. Instead, he said shit like, "Well, if you're kids can't handle joking around, I just won't play with them anymore." I said, well, if you're not mature enough to know that you don't tell a five-year-old that you're going to kidnap them and that your word supersedes their's, maybe you don't need to be playing with anyone's kids.
I then went through the grooming behaviors and demonstrated how what he had done matched those steps. The director said, well your kids did the right thing, they told you, and I said, yeah, but what about the other kids who were in the vicinity? What if they start school in a few months and a coach or a teacher tells them it's his word against theirs and he's a good liar? My wife told me later that when I was going through the grooming steps, his whole demeanor and face changed, like he'd either been abused or was abusing, she said he looked scared shitless.
This thing literally went back and forth for about ten minutes, with the final result that they asked our two daughters to come in so he could apologize to them. They did and he did, but the five year old was so scared of him, and the director could see that.
So we left, not happy, but satisfied enough to go home and sit on it for now, and we all piled in the van again to leave.
We made if further away from the center this time when the kids, who obviously knew now that we were not happy with this one particular counselor, told us that earlier the same day, he had picked up our 7 year old son, taken him into a bathroom stall and tried to lock the door. My son punched and slapped him to get out (good for him).
My wife hit the brakes on the van so hard we skidded to a stop, and back to the center we went. This time, though, it was me who was making a bee-line for this little prick. My wife had to stop me in the hall and tell me to let her handle it, since I'm 6'2", big, white (he's African-American) and I was pissed. So, she opened the door, summoned the same two people into the hall and asked him again if what we were told happened. The first time, he and the site director looked at us as we spoke as if they were a team. This time, however, the site director stared at him incredulously as he tried to explain just what the fuck would possess him to take a little boy into a bathroom stall and try to lock him in. He kept acting like we were overreacting, which was really pissing me off. I got inches from his face and told him that he had lost his fucking mind if he thought that taking a small boy into a bathroom was appropriate in any way, shape or form, and the director told him to go back inside (she knew I was about to kick the shit out of him). As he left he said "I can't believe ya'll comin' in here at me like this."
After he left we talked to the site director for some time and expressed other concerns, such as rap and hip hop music being played for the kids with horrible lyrics, an R-rated movie that was shown to the kids and the same counselor constantly telling kids they "suck." He also said that he was going to kill all the kids. Her tone and demeanor were completely different this second visit, and she said she was going to have to talk to the person who is over the entire program and call us at home.
She did call us at home, about 20 minutes later, and told us that her supervisor was not happy and wanted to meet with us at 9 a.m. this morning. A huge storm blew through last night, though, so I don't know when that's going to happen.
This whole thing, of course, triggered the fuck out of me. Last night I had a nightmare (one of many) wherein one of my flashbacks (one where I was anally raped) played out, but my 7 year old was the star, not me. My wife woke me from this dream, as I was thrashing and moaning in bed.
Today, again, I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
I would absolutely LOVE to here what anybody else thinks about this whole incident.
Thanks for reading.
Chris
First, about me: I was abused from 12 to 14 by a man who had become a "father figure" to me. After years of counseling, I was recently diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress. I had just come from my psychiatrist appointment yesterday when this happened:
Yesterday afternoon, we stopped by our kids' day camp to pick them up. I stayed in the van, desperately feeling like a flashback was about to seize me, and trying to stave it off. The kids came out, including two kids who live next door to us, and everyone got into the van. As we were leaving, one of the neighbor's children, a 12-year-old, told us that one of the counselors had told our five-year-old that he was going to kidnap her. My oldest daughter, who is quite assertive, said no you won't, I'll tell my parents. He then said, "it would your word against mine and I'm a really good liar. I could take you somewhere they would never find you." My wife hit the brakes and drove back over to the center and we went in and found the counselor and told him to get his ass in the hall. Fortunately, the site director was there and we asked her to come out as well. My wife asked him if he said all the things our kids said he had and he said that yes, he had, but he was just joking. My wife asked him if he thought that was a funny joke and he said, yes, he thought it was. My wife was yelling, but kept her composure but I was ready to rip the little fucker's head off. He and the site director kept making excuses and I told them that if we had come in, and they had said, you know what, you're right, that was inappropriate, it will never happen again, we would have been satisfied. Instead, he said shit like, "Well, if you're kids can't handle joking around, I just won't play with them anymore." I said, well, if you're not mature enough to know that you don't tell a five-year-old that you're going to kidnap them and that your word supersedes their's, maybe you don't need to be playing with anyone's kids.
I then went through the grooming behaviors and demonstrated how what he had done matched those steps. The director said, well your kids did the right thing, they told you, and I said, yeah, but what about the other kids who were in the vicinity? What if they start school in a few months and a coach or a teacher tells them it's his word against theirs and he's a good liar? My wife told me later that when I was going through the grooming steps, his whole demeanor and face changed, like he'd either been abused or was abusing, she said he looked scared shitless.
This thing literally went back and forth for about ten minutes, with the final result that they asked our two daughters to come in so he could apologize to them. They did and he did, but the five year old was so scared of him, and the director could see that.
So we left, not happy, but satisfied enough to go home and sit on it for now, and we all piled in the van again to leave.
We made if further away from the center this time when the kids, who obviously knew now that we were not happy with this one particular counselor, told us that earlier the same day, he had picked up our 7 year old son, taken him into a bathroom stall and tried to lock the door. My son punched and slapped him to get out (good for him).
My wife hit the brakes on the van so hard we skidded to a stop, and back to the center we went. This time, though, it was me who was making a bee-line for this little prick. My wife had to stop me in the hall and tell me to let her handle it, since I'm 6'2", big, white (he's African-American) and I was pissed. So, she opened the door, summoned the same two people into the hall and asked him again if what we were told happened. The first time, he and the site director looked at us as we spoke as if they were a team. This time, however, the site director stared at him incredulously as he tried to explain just what the fuck would possess him to take a little boy into a bathroom stall and try to lock him in. He kept acting like we were overreacting, which was really pissing me off. I got inches from his face and told him that he had lost his fucking mind if he thought that taking a small boy into a bathroom was appropriate in any way, shape or form, and the director told him to go back inside (she knew I was about to kick the shit out of him). As he left he said "I can't believe ya'll comin' in here at me like this."
After he left we talked to the site director for some time and expressed other concerns, such as rap and hip hop music being played for the kids with horrible lyrics, an R-rated movie that was shown to the kids and the same counselor constantly telling kids they "suck." He also said that he was going to kill all the kids. Her tone and demeanor were completely different this second visit, and she said she was going to have to talk to the person who is over the entire program and call us at home.
She did call us at home, about 20 minutes later, and told us that her supervisor was not happy and wanted to meet with us at 9 a.m. this morning. A huge storm blew through last night, though, so I don't know when that's going to happen.
This whole thing, of course, triggered the fuck out of me. Last night I had a nightmare (one of many) wherein one of my flashbacks (one where I was anally raped) played out, but my 7 year old was the star, not me. My wife woke me from this dream, as I was thrashing and moaning in bed.
Today, again, I feel like I've been hit by a truck.
I would absolutely LOVE to here what anybody else thinks about this whole incident.
Thanks for reading.
Chris
