My finace was sexually abused for about 4 years as a young boy. He has triggers from time to time Most recently, I was rubbing his hand while watching tv and it triggered him. He kept it inside, but told me about it the next morning. I'm always caring and compassionate towards him and listen intently. We discussed it briefly before work that morning, but time was limited. I brought it up after work that day and he was quite upset (not at me), but in general. He felt that telling me in the morning was enough and there was no reason to discuss it further. I understand why he would feel this way. There are two of us in this relationship and I feel my feelings and ability to process what happened matters too, so if I need to discuss it further to be able to move forward, I feel that should be okay. Has anyone experienced this? Its not as thought my fiance thinks my feeling do not matter. I believe he simply wants to have to think about what happened to him as little as possible. How do spouses of victims try to balance being there for their spouse and balancing their own feelings and needs in a situation?