triggers
Not, that I know what to speak here right now. I was not in here during short time because it rather difficult, I feel rather stupid here, and appreciable. I wish, that there is a site as it in my language, but to wish that, it does not force it to happen. Please do not think me stupid. It difficult, and it - irritation to me, that studying is not so easy, as I can study other things.
I spoke it, with the therapist, on Thursday, I speak it with her against what this man I shall testify, that he does to me. I have not told anybody about it. Not similarly to this. I can tell, well, in general, that I speak here before. That he selects me in his automobile and then as he releases me, and speaks me, that he kills me if I speak about him. Not anything of that he does. It causes to me such reaction, and I regret, as I - with the doctor. I yelled and cried, shaking, scratching at me is direct, similarly to this - my skin creeping from my body. I could hear him, I could feel it, again and again as I speak it, and I - in my head criticizing me, as I shall be never capable to speak it in court and to remain normal. I could feel such things so real feeling, I search for my skin to see, where I am cut, or burnt. Also there is nothing there. The doctor, she spends spends additional time with me as only I shall see her twice more before I move. But even with additional time, I spoke with me directly in my head, on which a train home, trying so it is very difficult to not go mad in those two hours goes home.
I arrive home, I go direct in bar and I start to drink. It - not something, that I have pride, and I try to resist to this choice, I have not made it so recent. But it resembles it - that there will be silent my head. As, while, it does not do, and I am afraid, that I shall cry again, I call to the friend if he will meet me, probably I shall speak with him. But when he arrives, I am rather happy with a drink, and I do not speak about such things. I go home drunk and silly, and yesterday is rather sick all the day long, and in the relief I should not work or duties within day.
The doctor, she has given me some treatment, she thinks, will be a success to help me with my emotions with it, but I am offended on treatments. I take it within several days, and it forces me to feel like rather strange and to have bad effects to me so I stop it and I do not wish another. It is silly, I know, and probably wrong, but I feel medicines, they - reduction of me, they - weakness of me to demand it. I take them for my physical illness, and it - is enough irritation to me.
It seems now to me, a life - the contradiction to me is direct, that I wish. Than it is more and more hardly I try to remain strong of things right now, especially weak and a lot of failure which I feel. I try very difficultly to support some people right now, and to not demand such their big force in exchange. It resembles to drown in water, the more I kick against water, the faster I sink. I wish to be very much the next month finished. Then it will be possible probably to continue to breathe instead of sinking again.
VN
I spoke it, with the therapist, on Thursday, I speak it with her against what this man I shall testify, that he does to me. I have not told anybody about it. Not similarly to this. I can tell, well, in general, that I speak here before. That he selects me in his automobile and then as he releases me, and speaks me, that he kills me if I speak about him. Not anything of that he does. It causes to me such reaction, and I regret, as I - with the doctor. I yelled and cried, shaking, scratching at me is direct, similarly to this - my skin creeping from my body. I could hear him, I could feel it, again and again as I speak it, and I - in my head criticizing me, as I shall be never capable to speak it in court and to remain normal. I could feel such things so real feeling, I search for my skin to see, where I am cut, or burnt. Also there is nothing there. The doctor, she spends spends additional time with me as only I shall see her twice more before I move. But even with additional time, I spoke with me directly in my head, on which a train home, trying so it is very difficult to not go mad in those two hours goes home.
I arrive home, I go direct in bar and I start to drink. It - not something, that I have pride, and I try to resist to this choice, I have not made it so recent. But it resembles it - that there will be silent my head. As, while, it does not do, and I am afraid, that I shall cry again, I call to the friend if he will meet me, probably I shall speak with him. But when he arrives, I am rather happy with a drink, and I do not speak about such things. I go home drunk and silly, and yesterday is rather sick all the day long, and in the relief I should not work or duties within day.
The doctor, she has given me some treatment, she thinks, will be a success to help me with my emotions with it, but I am offended on treatments. I take it within several days, and it forces me to feel like rather strange and to have bad effects to me so I stop it and I do not wish another. It is silly, I know, and probably wrong, but I feel medicines, they - reduction of me, they - weakness of me to demand it. I take them for my physical illness, and it - is enough irritation to me.
It seems now to me, a life - the contradiction to me is direct, that I wish. Than it is more and more hardly I try to remain strong of things right now, especially weak and a lot of failure which I feel. I try very difficultly to support some people right now, and to not demand such their big force in exchange. It resembles to drown in water, the more I kick against water, the faster I sink. I wish to be very much the next month finished. Then it will be possible probably to continue to breathe instead of sinking again.
VN
