TRIGGERING....My Story
In 1987, when I was 20 yrs. old I met my hubby. On our 2nd date, we played poker with nude cards. It was my first time with another guy that I saw a completely naked guys + women. Of course I was a virgin. I fell in love with my hubby when I first saw him. Hubby was gentle with popping my cherry. We cuddled naked + he eased his penis inside a few times before my cherry popped.
Afterwards I became a sexaholic, only with my hubby though. I wanted sex all the time. Hubby then introduced me to S&M. He tied me up to have sex. I loved it. I wanted to be tied up more often. Everything was so daring. I was a good little girl all through high school. No one would have even thought that I would have sex before marrage, let alone this rough.
He started to hit my butt some during sex + that was more stimulating. The S&M went further, being hit by a belt + a small cat-o-nine tails. We also experimented with clothespins on my nipples + other places. Clothespins by far was my favorate.
I still stuggle with the desire to nippleclamp myself.
On our honeymoon we spent a night in a XXX hotel room. Good strong XXX peepshows. There was a hook above the bed that I hung from by my wrists. I was whipped-butt + nipples then fucked by my hubby. I loved it. We went swimming naked in an indoor pool.
When I was pregnant the first time, I wore clothespins around the house with blinds drawn. Hubby had sex with me a bit less when I was pregnant. Hubby was there when son was born. He left for Gulf War when son was 3 days old. I felt so alone with a newborn infant that I moved back to my parents house. [My mom was very controling + nagged all the time.] When hubby came back from the war, son was 6 months old. With all that time without the S&M + sex plus breastfeeding a baby, I did not feel like having sex. Too tired - I do not remember the excuses. Hubby offerred porn. It worked. Now I had another stimulating sex toy. I combined everything + loved it. I also took good care of our son + life was pleasurable. Everything was going great until we were househunting.
1st house was what we wanted. It fell through. I became a little depressed. 2nd house was pretty good + I could be happy there. Could not work just 1 thing out. Fell through again. I fell in a deep hole of depression + let the housework slip more every day. 3rd house, I could not get myself to care. I thought that the deal would fall through. NOPE, WE GOT IT. I just did not like it.
A few months later I got a call from my mom. She was crying because my dad asked her for a divorace. I went in a cave of depression because mom would call me + tell me that dad had sex with her but still wanted a divorace. Mom had no friends to talk to that was not connected with dad.BUT SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE TALKED TO ME ABOUT HER PROBLEMS WITH DAD!!!My dad had depression - I did not know. Then I got pregnant. All this time I was also playing with myself + clamping myself in order to feel pretty good for a short time. Hubby was starting to go isolate himself. I really did not care about him just me.I had sex with hubby 1 or 2 + with my hormones mixed up I was in a pool of depression. After I delivered I was in depression so very deep I could not even see a speck of happiness. I neglected my daughter all the way. She could not drink the regular formula so she was a bother to me at the time. I worked the closing shift about 30 mins away. I masterbated all the time. Ignored the needs of my little girl. Did not change her diaper or her clothes at all. Hubby worked all hours. Lots of manditory overtime. I did not clean house at all. The vaccuum was broken + dirty dishes all over the place. There were clean clothes in piles around the house. I felt that at least I washed the clothes. I think living like that for a year deepened my depression even more. My son being in Kindergarten was pretty much taking care of himself for that year.
Hubby's mom all during that year was trying to figure out what was wrong. She finally figured it out - DEPRESSION!!! I did not know that was what was wrong. Mom-in-law tried to get me to realize how bad my baby was healthwise. I was stubburn. It took my mom-in-law, dad-in-law, sister-in-law, + brother-in-law to talk to both of us about hubby's sister taking daughter temperaraly into her home until I got better. Hubby worked even longer so I thought. Daughter was taken out of our home day before her 1st birthday. The day I woke up from my depression is when hubby said IF OUR SON IS TAKEN FROM OUR HOME, I AM GOING TO DIVORACE YOU. I sort of remember thinking life without hubby?!? No way!!! So I worked on the house a little bit. I took the time to throw away everything that was taking over my life. All the collectable trading game cards, porno - books, magazines, toys. Everything that I could think of.At this time I had fantasies of being raped by our male friends. I was rubbing myself in public + not caring. I was wanting a lot more vile things to happen to me sexually. If our daughter had not been taken away to a safe home I would have gone into prostitution. It was about now that we found a church that presented a Bibical view of everything. Our Sunday School class teacher would stomp on my toes real good. Hubby would not let me miss a Sunday.We joined a few weeks later. I did not know whether or not I was a Christian. I struggled + struggled to get out of my depression. I ignored my hubby's need of sex. I had to get out of my depression. I started singing Hymns + thinking about the Lord. Sunday School class started a monthly Bible Study. I started learning about God + His rules of what is good in His view. 2 years went past + I was over my depression. Kept a pretty clean house. At the same time the women started a Bible study that I could lean on them + talk + heal about my daughter.7 or 8 yrs later I still do not have sexual relations with hubby. Everytime I thought of sex I wanted nipple clamps + maybe be whipped or something. We lost the house back in Sept + moved here. We found a great church. Mom has grown so she does not nag as much. You know the rest.
WITH MUCH LOVE,
Kim
Afterwards I became a sexaholic, only with my hubby though. I wanted sex all the time. Hubby then introduced me to S&M. He tied me up to have sex. I loved it. I wanted to be tied up more often. Everything was so daring. I was a good little girl all through high school. No one would have even thought that I would have sex before marrage, let alone this rough.
He started to hit my butt some during sex + that was more stimulating. The S&M went further, being hit by a belt + a small cat-o-nine tails. We also experimented with clothespins on my nipples + other places. Clothespins by far was my favorate.
I still stuggle with the desire to nippleclamp myself.
On our honeymoon we spent a night in a XXX hotel room. Good strong XXX peepshows. There was a hook above the bed that I hung from by my wrists. I was whipped-butt + nipples then fucked by my hubby. I loved it. We went swimming naked in an indoor pool.
When I was pregnant the first time, I wore clothespins around the house with blinds drawn. Hubby had sex with me a bit less when I was pregnant. Hubby was there when son was born. He left for Gulf War when son was 3 days old. I felt so alone with a newborn infant that I moved back to my parents house. [My mom was very controling + nagged all the time.] When hubby came back from the war, son was 6 months old. With all that time without the S&M + sex plus breastfeeding a baby, I did not feel like having sex. Too tired - I do not remember the excuses. Hubby offerred porn. It worked. Now I had another stimulating sex toy. I combined everything + loved it. I also took good care of our son + life was pleasurable. Everything was going great until we were househunting.
1st house was what we wanted. It fell through. I became a little depressed. 2nd house was pretty good + I could be happy there. Could not work just 1 thing out. Fell through again. I fell in a deep hole of depression + let the housework slip more every day. 3rd house, I could not get myself to care. I thought that the deal would fall through. NOPE, WE GOT IT. I just did not like it.
A few months later I got a call from my mom. She was crying because my dad asked her for a divorace. I went in a cave of depression because mom would call me + tell me that dad had sex with her but still wanted a divorace. Mom had no friends to talk to that was not connected with dad.BUT SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE TALKED TO ME ABOUT HER PROBLEMS WITH DAD!!!My dad had depression - I did not know. Then I got pregnant. All this time I was also playing with myself + clamping myself in order to feel pretty good for a short time. Hubby was starting to go isolate himself. I really did not care about him just me.I had sex with hubby 1 or 2 + with my hormones mixed up I was in a pool of depression. After I delivered I was in depression so very deep I could not even see a speck of happiness. I neglected my daughter all the way. She could not drink the regular formula so she was a bother to me at the time. I worked the closing shift about 30 mins away. I masterbated all the time. Ignored the needs of my little girl. Did not change her diaper or her clothes at all. Hubby worked all hours. Lots of manditory overtime. I did not clean house at all. The vaccuum was broken + dirty dishes all over the place. There were clean clothes in piles around the house. I felt that at least I washed the clothes. I think living like that for a year deepened my depression even more. My son being in Kindergarten was pretty much taking care of himself for that year.
Hubby's mom all during that year was trying to figure out what was wrong. She finally figured it out - DEPRESSION!!! I did not know that was what was wrong. Mom-in-law tried to get me to realize how bad my baby was healthwise. I was stubburn. It took my mom-in-law, dad-in-law, sister-in-law, + brother-in-law to talk to both of us about hubby's sister taking daughter temperaraly into her home until I got better. Hubby worked even longer so I thought. Daughter was taken out of our home day before her 1st birthday. The day I woke up from my depression is when hubby said IF OUR SON IS TAKEN FROM OUR HOME, I AM GOING TO DIVORACE YOU. I sort of remember thinking life without hubby?!? No way!!! So I worked on the house a little bit. I took the time to throw away everything that was taking over my life. All the collectable trading game cards, porno - books, magazines, toys. Everything that I could think of.At this time I had fantasies of being raped by our male friends. I was rubbing myself in public + not caring. I was wanting a lot more vile things to happen to me sexually. If our daughter had not been taken away to a safe home I would have gone into prostitution. It was about now that we found a church that presented a Bibical view of everything. Our Sunday School class teacher would stomp on my toes real good. Hubby would not let me miss a Sunday.We joined a few weeks later. I did not know whether or not I was a Christian. I struggled + struggled to get out of my depression. I ignored my hubby's need of sex. I had to get out of my depression. I started singing Hymns + thinking about the Lord. Sunday School class started a monthly Bible Study. I started learning about God + His rules of what is good in His view. 2 years went past + I was over my depression. Kept a pretty clean house. At the same time the women started a Bible study that I could lean on them + talk + heal about my daughter.7 or 8 yrs later I still do not have sexual relations with hubby. Everytime I thought of sex I wanted nipple clamps + maybe be whipped or something. We lost the house back in Sept + moved here. We found a great church. Mom has grown so she does not nag as much. You know the rest.
WITH MUCH LOVE,
Kim
Dad rarely talked. My mom's dad was a violent alcoholic. My dad came from a home with 10 brothers + 1 sister. Did he have SA when he was a kid???????? 
