Triggering Music

Erik Zachary

Registrant
My T wants me to do EMDR while listening to music that triggers me. There are very specific bands/song I will never listen to because they were playing while it was happening to me. I have a lot of fear about doing this, especially since we do skype session now and my computer is set up in a room I was abused in. There aren't other rooms to use unfortunately.
A triggering song came on the other day and it really set off all the alarms in my head and I was very out of it for awhile. I recognize that doing this work is good for me but it still scares me shitless.

To end on a good note, turns out my insurance covers my therapy now! So I pay way less than before and the insurance will be reimbursing me for all the extra money I spent.
 

Healing light

Registrant
I don't expect that will be easy to do at all .... It's like a combination of EMDR and exposure therapy. So I can see why your scared about doing it , I suppose you don't know if it will be beneficial unless you try it , I should say it will be intense but if relations are good with your T the that will help somewhat
Wishing you peace in your healing journey
HL
 
A T Skype session is pretty cool. I can understand how EMDR can be done too. I'm glad your insurance is working with you. I worry about any problems with pre-existing conditions now. This current system has given uncertainty.

My med prices keep going up, my wife has the insurance, and she picked it for her. convenience. I can't change that.
 

coastal

Registrant
I hear your concern and would be quite concerned about it as well. I understand the motivation of your T to do this work but would fear it could leave me/you very vulnerable being that it is a distance session. I am also doing distance sessions and am blessed to have an incredibly supportive and understanding partner for any post session care that could be necessary. I believe it could be really great work to do, however if you are truly very anxious about it you may want to postpone that work until you are feeling more at ease with the idea, or perhaps set up a plan for yourself to have a reliable post session caring companion to spend time with after the work. (I do not know of your relationship or living situation) Always remember you are the boss of the therapeutic relationship, of course it is necessary to push yourself outside of your comfort zones as that is part of how we heal, and also to trust your T, in the end though, you know you the best. Good luck with it all.
 

Sawyer49

Registrant
Erick, new here to this site but just started EMDR myself my T plays sounds in my ear bouncing between right and left I pick the cadence and then it becomes guided by him we always pick out a safe spot to think about.

I think there are different ways to do EMDR. Good luck on your journey, just as much as music can trigger there are songs that can really help us perhaps create Erik's good play list so that after you process the music that triggers gets replaced.

Best of luck

Sawyer
 
sounds in my ear bouncing between right and left I pick the cadence and then it becomes guided by him we always pick out a safe spot to think about
we did that on my first CRM session, but never since. I think I easily get to that "safe place" now without it.
 

OnceInnocent

Registrant
My T wants me to do EMDR while listening to music that triggers me. There are very specific bands/song I will never listen to because they were playing while it was happening to me. I have a lot of fear about doing this, especially since we do skype session now and my computer is set up in a room I was abused in. There aren't other rooms to use unfortunately.
A triggering song came on the other day and it really set off all the alarms in my head and I was very out of it for awhile. I recognize that doing this work is good for me but it still scares me shitless.

To end on a good note, turns out my insurance covers my therapy now! So I pay way less than before and the insurance will be reimbursing me for all the extra money I spent.
im so sorry that you face reminders of the abuse multiple times a day.
please do let me know how the emdr goes.
if it works, I really need to do it.
ive avoided entire genres of music, places, people, area codes all to try not to remind myself of the abuse. we moved 6 times as well.
its a cycle that needs to be broken. I don't want to live like that anymore either.
 

Erik Zachary

Registrant
Why do you still live there? are you in a place financially where you can move out?
I'm am very directionless honestly. I am at a community college right now and really hate it. I sleep on a mattress I was hurt on. I recently changed my bedroom so it wouldn't hold all the bad energy. I dont know where i am going or what I'm doing.
 

Erik Zachary

Registrant
So, it was a really intense session today. A few things I discovered:
  • I cannot go more than a few seconds into the songs before I stop functioning.
  • EMDR is difficult to do when the video chat freezes.
  • There is just no memory in my head from age 5-ish to 7-ish. It is all just black
  • My vision blurs intensely when I am dissociating.
It was by no means a bad session. I am just very low functioning right now.

Also, in terms of getting out of here to live somewhere less traumatic I have some friends who are looking to move away too. We are checking out apartments together in a nearby city but one that is far enough away to be not here.
 
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