Trevor's Sister

Trevor's Sister
S

SarahJ79

New Registrant
Hello, I'm Sarah, Trevor's sister. He asked me to join and take a look around. I have and I'm very upset. I can't imagine anyone going through this kind of pain :( I want to help him but I have no idea what to do for him. He's a good kid and he doesn't deserve to feel this bad.
Thanks for listening.
Sarah
 
Hi Sarah,

Keep reading all the posts by survivors and friends. It's a lot to take in. Understanding will take time especially if you haven't had first hand experience (Lucky you!)

It makes me so happy to see people trying to support survivors of CSA. It gives me hope that I will find someone someday.
 
i have talked with Trevor some. i know he is struggling a lot. i think the main thing he needs now is validation. he kind of feels like no one believes him, and honestly, that hurts a survivor more than the abuse itself. you carry this inside all these years, and when you finally manage to tell someone, to not be believed is the worst thing possible.

i have been working for like 5years now. it takes time. part of him is stuck in the abuse. he never faced it as it happened. it takes a lot of time to process all the pent up pain and anger. i think the best thing any family member could offer is validation. he needs to know that you believe him.
 
Thanks so much for the nice message.
I love Trevor and I'd do anything to help him but it's hard for me to do this. I had some problems with my father and my brother as well but I never thought in a million years they could do anything so cruel to anyone, especially a kid, especially to Trevor :( my god he's such a good kid I don't understand how anyone could do something like this. I just don't know what to do.
 
hi sar. i didnt think u would really
come here
 
really there isnt much others can do. this will be Trevor's fight, and it is a fight. a survivor has no esteem, they see themselves in bad terms, thinking they are evil, unatractive, marked for abuse, all sorts of things. only the survivor can reconcile all of this into a healthy and happy state of mind. healing comes from inside.
 
Sarah,

Welcome. I haven't spoken to Trevor at all because he only posts on the survivor forums, but I have been following his posts. I'm glad you've come to help support him. It took alot of courage for him to tell you what has happened in his life and to guide you here. I'm sure you realize that already.

You have a difficult path in front of you for many of the same reasons as Trevor, but problems that will be unique to you as the sibling of a survivor harmed by other members of your own family.

It's nice to see a big sister taking care of her brother. Everyone here will be as helpful as we can to both of you.

ROCK ON......Trish
 
sar i wanted u to come here but
now that ur here im not sure
that i want u to stay :(
 
Hi Sarah,

I replied to your PM, and I hope that gives you some things to think about.

As you can see, Trev is anxious about you being here and it would probably be a good idea to talk to him about this.

It's a big trust issue when a survivor has a relative who comes onto the site. My own sister ("Lady Rock") is a member and posts here, and when she first showed up I was anxious as well. But that feeling quickly passed and she has been a huge source of support for me.

Much love,
Larry
 
oh yeah for sure. man, we lay so much of ourselves out there, and to have someone we know read all of it kind of sets off a big panick attack. my wife came here a few times, but we decided this needed to be a place i could come for support and that it wasnt a good idea. still, it was kind of nice at first, because i knew she would understand me better if she came here.
 
Okay, thanks again for the replies and advice.
Trev, I won't come back again until you're ready to have me here. You just let me know when hon.
Larry, thank you, I've replied to your PM.

Sarah
 
No problem Trev.
Just one more thing before I go honey, I'm so very proud of you. Keep up the good work.

Love you,
Sarah
 
Sarah I am not sure if you are still around. I am a sister too. The only thing you can do right now (you say you don't know what to do) is to be there for him. Love him and don't let him think for a second that he is ever alone in this struggle for peace. He is very lucky to have you. And you are lucky to have him.
 
Sadsister,

Sarah has agreed with Trevor not to come to the discussion board, so he can feel free to speak openly, but if you PM her I'm sure she would be glad to hear from you.

Much love,
Larry
 
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